It was always night, about one hour after mother had closed my door and went to sleep, that he would come in.
I always knew ‘him’ deep inside, like a psychic connection, but “he” (aka ‘him’) always told me to not tell my parents. so i followed him, as my stupid child self. He would always play the ‘smile game’ with me, where he would bring what i thought were his friends, but now i am older, they were not his friends.
The smile game consisted on one player smiling, and trying to bite as hard as they could into what i assume is flesh, the player with the biggest bite would win the first type of the smile game.
another smile game was more… deadly. there was one more friend, which i will call ‘1’, and we had to carve a smile into ‘1’, and each time, it would be recorded, the angle, the width, and the amount of blood.
nobody else knew because we were somewhere else. I dont know where, but it was somewhere calm, and warm. it was like being in a blanket on a winters day, nice and warm. that was here ‘he’ used to play games.
it was when i was 14 that i realised the nature of this, after a news report said a kid with a carved smile had been found in bed. the kid was in a coma, the poor kid fucking died the next day.. he was only a kid.
i never forgave myself, for i thought i was the monster. so around a week later, i devised a plan, to carve a smile into ‘him’, that did not work out.
At first i was carving into ‘him’, then i saw a dim light, these games were always pitch black, the light revealed me, but i also saw ‘him’.
now that i look back, ‘he’ looked like me, and after digging through my family’s history, i found out i had an older brother, who died at the age of 3, a year before i was born.
that was the moment where i saw the carved smile in my face, and i felt a stinging pain, worse than 1000 hornets stinging you.
I felt blood drip on the sides of my face, and how i was paralysed on my cheeks due to the cut.
then i slipped.
it was very recently that i woke up, i currently am 19.
the worst part about waking up was the therapy, the scars on me, mentally and physically.
i knew my brother wanted revenge, but did he plan on killing me? I already knew from recent research that i knew, my mother couldnt help him. my mother was having trouble with her body, it was so bad that my brother had to die from an injury, and my mother had to watch.
thinking on what i knew, i may have been the demon.
right now, i feel my brother, he is mad.
the pain wont stop, but i knew, the smile game would be won by me. somehow, and some day..