The thing about time is that the way we keep track of it is a human construct. The universe does not keep track of time the way we do. We have seconds, hours, days, months, years and the universe…well the universe has something different. We will get back to this a little bit later…
The day I discovered time travel was a day that I can’t remember but at the same time will never forget. The circumstances of that day change depending on how I relive it, but one thing is for sure, that day was the day my girlfriend and her lover died… I killed them of course. I don’t quite remember how I found out, I guess I always knew. Her lover was a friend of mine, I had knew him for 6 years, but I guess our friendship meant nothing to him and in the end it meant nothing to me. Each time I think about the day I killed them the details change, yet are always right. Sometimes I kill them with a gun, other times with an axe… I just remember being so damn angry on the 16 minute drive over to her house. Like HOW THE FUCK could they do this to me? Was I not a good friend? No of course I was, I was a great friend. Anything they needed I did my best to provide… oh I can tell I am boring you with my manic ramblings…
‘The Watch’ appeared on my desk the morning of the killings. I never saw it before, but I knew exactly what it was. The screen was about the size of an old Ipod nano and had dozens of options for dates, coordinates and other things I did not quite understand… It did not have a charging port, so I assumed it was solar powered. After the killings I knew I would be the prime suspect, and so I fled the best way I ‘knew’ how…through time. I input the day March 18th, 1997 and the coordinates which would put me square in the middle of Los Angeles. I would be gone from the present and into the past, the police were never going to find me and where I was going I was completely innocent…
A bright light and then I’m there, Los Angeles, California, 1997. I look around and see no human in sight - in fact the only living things I see are plants. I smell fresh food from a taco stand, but see no one working it. Light’s are on inside of buildings, but are void of any human life. It was like I stepped into a snapshot of the past. I could turn on the radio and ‘listen’ to people on talk shows, I could turn on a TV and ‘watch’ people on the screen, but I could not see or hear any person in the “real” world. It was almost a cathartic experience. Imagine being able to just walk into a restaurant and eat food that is just there, imagine being able to just drive the most expensive cars for free. The world ~this world~ was in the palm of my hand - anything I wanted to do I just did it.
Eventually I got tired of 1997 and jumped throughout time, 1812, 1941, 1965, and so on and so forth. I saw so much, but I didn’t feel like I was experiencing anything. Humans are many things, but I’ll be dammed if they don’t add a sort of special touch to the world. Truth be told I was getting lonely - humans are social creatures, and I in fact was a human. I needed to see another person, I needed to speak to another person. So I made the decision… I was going back to present day, the day I murdered two of my friends. “If the cops catch me, I’ll just punch my watch and be gone” I thought. Well that brings me back to my first paragraph. The way we keep track of time isn’t the same way the universe keeps track of time, and well this Watch may have ‘human’ time on it, but it follows a completely different ruleset. Turns out there are BILLIONS upon BILLIONS of what I’ve come to call “Fiber Seconds”, and to get to my time I needed to input the EXACT Fiber Second that I originally time traveled from or I’d just appear in another snapshot.
Days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months. I don’t remember when I started to hear the voices and see the figures. It was always faint when I heard them, or right out of the corner of my eye when I saw them. No matter what year I jumped to they were ever present. I wasn’t sure if it was the loneliness or the Watch that was driving me insane. I suppose it did not matter, I was going insane none the less. The events that lead to me to consider the wild idea of going back before the universe existed are lost to me, but I guess I figured if I was going to end it all, I may as well go out in style and see something no other person had ever seen…The Creation of the Universe or The Big Bang… So that’s what I did.
It took a while, but I finally got there. The place before time, The place before… well… everything as far as I could tell. The “room” I appeared in after punching my watch was like the inside of a space blanket or something. It’s almost indescribable. I go to take a breath and nothing… I cannot breath because there is no air. I panicked and grabbed the wall - it felt like human skin. I looked at the wall and could see my reflection and the reflection of every person I had ever known… I quickly hit my watch and BOOM a loud sound and a bright light…
I look down and see billions of diamonds beneath me, so small and so beautiful. I hear a voice it speaks in a language I have never heard, and yet I understand it better than my own language. It’s voice booms like a cannon and with every shot, a word. It tells me “A God is a God because it wills itself into existence. A God can never be created by anyone but itself. A new God has been born”. I look down at my hands and see nothing, but I feel everything. I look down at my legs and see nothing, but I can move everywhere. “Where is my body?!?” I scream. The voice tells all I need do is demand it, and so I do… I reach out my arm and I see a hand, I go to walk and my legs move, but not for long. My body disappears again and I am left as a void. “Show me my girlfriend” I ask in a panic but nothing happens. I say her name and there she is - in her bathroom brushing her teeth. She is wearing a large shirt that covers her underwear, her long hair in a mess… I assume she has just woke up and is getting ready for the day. “Show me myself” I say and an image of nothingness appears, just a dark void… I speak my name and there I am, sleeping in my bed. I go back to see Emma and there ~he~ is, my friend of 6 years stepping into her bathroom. I watch them and I see them undress each other and go into her shower.
I go back to ‘myself’ and hover over me {him}. I whisper the betrayal of my {his} girlfriend… I whisper images, I whisper sounds, I whisper truths. I then create an item just for {him} and set it on his desk. I whisper to {him} what it is, I whisper for {him} to wake up…{he} does. {He} grabs the item and gets into {his} car, and drives.
I go to {his} computer and with no fingers, I begin to type. I tell my story not {his} for I am no longer that man on earth. I am responsible for my own existence therefor I am god. I am in no time loop, for I exist outside of time. This is the creation of the universe - of multiple universes. This cycle repeats infinitely with a different me setting forth the series of events that lead to the Big Bang.
As I am typing this, I go back to {him}. I whisper to {him} thoughts of anger. I place a weapon on his passenger seat…{he} does not question it because I tell {him} not to. {He} pulls into her driveway. {He} gets out of {his} car. {He} walks into her house.
I have no lips, but I smile. I have no throat, but I laugh, I have no eyes, but I watch.
I have created a god.