You never know what you rap until the bars come out of your mouth? This was the last thing that I thought before the fordnite eminem event went live. Woah wait lets start from the beginning.Rewewewewewe Cut to me being bornd. WOAH! Not that fart! Rewewewewe. It was cold winter afternoon when it all happened. I was sitting down at my Eminem Gamer desk watching eminem videos on youtube and playing minecraft(Insert updoot here!) when my long time OG, for the sake of convenience we’ll call her rachel, hitted me up and said “Yoooooo eminem is happening on fortnite tonight” I says “WHAAAAAATTT wait a minute why is he not happening on minecraft (Insert updoot here!). Rachel says “there is a rumor that this is evil eminem so we probably should not play, maybe?” Me said “Hang on I gotta get a piece of EM even if it is on fartnite Insert updoot here!” Well said rachel, “I will hop on if you hop on, nothing bad happened if were together”.
Ladder that night we both downloaded the the game and were watching the timer go down to zero, to show when the event starts, this is a common practice in fordnite, they do a lot for other event so it was pretty normal if you ask me, yup nothing bad could happened. WROONNGGG!!(foreshadowing). So the timer hit zero, which is completely normal, and thend the screen went black! AHHHHHHHHH said rachel, WHAATTTT!?! I said back. Rachel says “The game mustve crashed I’m gonna go talk to my mom who is a witch (foreshadowing)”
Whatevvvverrr I thunk, I’m gonna wait here for my beloved nemenem to come on the screen. That is the terror started! I looks down at my computor and realize that it wasn’t plugged in! HOWWWWWW! I scream at the top of my lung. That is when The event started. Ememin came on the screen and was in fordnite form but I could tell it was ememen even though he was in fodnite. “Woah these graphics SUCKKKKKKKKK! I says to the computer” That is when I realized it not suck because of the graphics it suck because that was EVIL EMINEM!!!!! WHAT? That was when I say FART OFF!! And then I let a big creepy FART into my computor! That was when Evil Eminem eyes tuen red and skin turn grey. He than grinned a smile with the biggest scariest blood teeth that I’ve evar SEENNN!!! That is wend he looks at me and says
“I THINK I’M STARTING TO FEEL LIKE A R*PE GOD R*PE GOD!”
HOLY MOLY!!! I yells at the computor screen before I smashed it into a million pieces with my super strength!(foreshadowing). That is when’d I heard it!! FROM UPSTAIRS MY HOUSE!
“I’M THE BAAAADDDDD GUY…duh”
That is when realized that the emnen EVIL had entered my house. (WOAH CRAZY)! That’s when EVIL EMENEN Come down to my basement. WOAHHH!! MOM?!? (I yelled her name to make sure she was safe, not because of feared). That was when evil eminem says NO I HAVE KILLED HER!!VENOMMMMM!!! Then i finally says it “BACK OFF” and crushed his head with me hands!(Superstrength). Then he says scrarily “You can’t kill a rap god(rap god). Then he grows 10,000 foot tall!! (how am I gonna get outta this one (personal thought i had)). All hope was lost I could not cancel evil ememen so I go down to my basement to go and go to my eminem corner. Then that when my computor sas something to me?! “HELLPPP I’M THE REAL RAP GOD!!!” What no I thunk this couldn’t be emenim not in 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 YEARS!!!!! “PROVE IT I SAID” Then he looks at me in the computer and says really fast “May I have your attention, please?
May I have your attention, please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We’re gonna have a problem here
[Verse 1]
Y’all act like you never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door
And started whoopin’ her ass worse than before
They first were divorced, throwin’ her over furniture (Agh!)
It’s the return of the “Oh, wait, no way, you’re kidding
He didn’t just say what I think he did, did he?”
And Dr. Dre said
Nothing, you idiots, Dr. Dre’s dead, he’s locked in my basement (Ha-ha!)
Feminist women love Eminem
“Chicka-chicka-chicka, Slim Shady, I’m sick of him
Look at him, walkin’ around, grabbin’ his you-know-what
Flippin’ the you-know-who,” “Yeah, but he’s so cute though”
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse than what’s goin’ on in your parents’ bedrooms
Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose
But can’t, but it’s cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
“My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips”
And if I’m lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
And that’s the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a woman’s clitoris is
Of course, they’re gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit fourth grade they’ve got the Discovery Channel, don’t they?
We ain’t nothin’ but mammals
Well, some of us cannibals who cut other people open like cantaloupes
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
Then there’s no reason that a man and another man can’t elope
But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Women, wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus, and it goes
You might also like
Without Me
Eminem
Lose Yourself
Eminem
Mockingbird
Eminem
[Chorus]
I’m Slim Shady, yes, I’m the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won’t the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
‘Cause I’m Slim Shady, yes, I’m the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won’t the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
[Verse 2]
Will Smith don’t gotta cuss in his raps to sell records (Nope)
Well, I do, so fuck him, and fuck you too
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
Half of you critics can’t even stomach me, let alone stand me
“But Slim, what if you win? Wouldn’t it be weird?”
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?
So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears?
Yo, shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
And hear ‘em argue over who she gave head to first
Little bitch put me on blast on MTV
“Yeah, he’s cute, but I think he’s married to Kim, hee-hee”
I should download her audio on MP3
And show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD (Agh!)
I’m sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
So I have been sent here to destroy you
And there’s a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me, who just don’t give a fuck like me
Who dress like me, walk, talk and act like me
And just might be the next best thing, but not quite me
[Chorus]
‘Cause I’m Slim Shady, yes, I’m the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won’t the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
‘Cause I’m Slim Shady, yes, I’m the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won’t the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
[Verse 3]
I’m like a head trip to listen to ‘cause I’m only givin’ you
Things you joke about with your friends inside your livin’ room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of y’all
And I don’t gotta be false or sugarcoat it at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
And whether you like to admit it (Err), I just shit it
Better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
Then you wonder: “How can kids eat up these albums like Valiums?”
It’s funny, ‘cause at the rate I’m goin’, when I’m thirty
I’ll be the only person in the nursin’ home flirting
Pinchin’ nurse’s asses when I’m jacking off with Jergens
And I’m jerking, but this whole bag of Viagra isn’t working
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin’
He could be working at Burger King, spittin’ on your onion rings (Ch, puh)
Or in the parkin’ lot, circling, screaming, “I don’t give a fuck!”
With his windows down and his system up
So will the real Shady please stand up
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
[Chorus]
I’m Slim Shady, yes, I’m the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won’t the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
‘Cause I’m Slim Shady, yes, I’m the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won’t the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
‘Cause I’m Slim Shady, yes, I’m the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won’t the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
‘Cause I’m Slim Shady, yes, I’m the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won’t the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
[Outro]
Ha-ha
I guess there’s a Slim Shady in all of us
Fuck it, let’s all stand up
“WOAHHHHH YOU ARE REAL” I THOUGHt. Yasssss emninem says and then he he says to free me you must free me from fortnight! I understand i say. Then the fortnite portal opened and then before I stepped in I thought to myself “You never know what you rap until the bars come out of your mouth?”
The end?