Hello, darlings (and darklings) from your favorite Vampire, Helena the Clown. I promised you new stories last time I posted, so let’s get going, shall we? (Check Part 1 .)
Sophie„s pregnancy was getting close to term, as months passed. Her mom, Odette, stayed in Romania, in the end. I do not know how or why exactly, things are hard to untangle even for me. Elves can be weird sometimes. Odette started to do her own investigations, as it seems, online and offline, as she was still really afraid of me. That was a good thing for Sophie and her child.
Sophie has had a long talk, one night, with Odette, trying to explain to her about Elvishness. As Odette continued to investigate on her own, she accepted the fact that she and her daughter are no longer Human, but Elves. Sophie and I met and did some experiments, some not very conclusive, regarding the inner magic of Caterpillar Elves and of Elves in general. She tried some things with her mom at home, with little success. They need guidance from some Full Elves. Yet, some things happened, as the magic inside Odette became a little visible.
One day I got a call from Odette. The first direct one. She was hesitant at first. ”Greetings.” she said. Fear was present in her voice, and hesitation. ”God bless!” I replied and waited. ”I think I am ready. You know, what Sophie talked to you about.” ”We can meet at the Circus park tonight. At the edge, where the train tracks used to be and the ghost train passes at night. At 11 pm?” A long pause, then: ”Ok.”
Odette and Sophie came together. The belly of Sophie was already enlarged enough to see the pregnancy getting closer to term. As she gave me a hug, she smiled and placed my hand on the abdomen. The baby became restless, but then she got quiet. ”I told you she remembers you.” smiled Sophie, as Odette was sitting back. She was dressed more casually, and her hair looked a bit less maintained.
”You can come closer. I do not plan to bite tonight.” and I winked. It was an awkward moment, while we looked at each other. I said: ”We can try a finger contact. Just touching each other’s fingers. Like Sophie suggested, we touched one finger from the right hand. A bit of shaking from her part, as she removed it, then came back. After one minute, I said: ”Ready for a full hand contact?” Odette shook her head. We proceeded. She tried looking into my eyes, I tried to keep eye contact with her. This was the second Elf I got this close in contact with in my life (The Full Elves I met in the past kept their distance even when talking with me.). I waited for the Elven core underneath the Human shell to react and have the lack of fear Elves have (or seem to have) towards me and my kind. Indeed, a little something seemed to have happened.
Finally, I said: ”I think you will be powerful enough yourself in your full Elf form, if you ever reach it.” Something in her eyes changed, as she looked at me. Like she became less and less the mature woman she appeared to be at first and more like a curious child. She gave a faint smile and asked:
”You think so?” ”Yes. But this is too early to know much. Are you ready for this? Are you ok?” She nodded. In the past, I knew very well that the policy of the Full Elves was not to awaken Caterpillars. They may have been exclusivists, or perhaps they knew something I did not. Sometimes, they did awaken some of them, helped them and integrated them in their society. If they are still around, they may be pissed on what I do with Sophie and Odette. I hope it will not, though.
We walked towards their house on Vasile Lascăr, me and Sophie chatting from time to time. Odette rarely spoke, like she paid close attention to all, and I noticed it.
In the end, after crossing the park and Ștefan cel Mare highway, we reached the house. Sophie’s dad remained upstairs, as it seems he wants to have as little contact with me as possible. Sophie left me alone with her mother, at first level, going upstairs. We kept it dark, in order to avoid attention from the outside, only with the light from street lights outside. I waited for Odette to overcome the fear and reach out. She finally did it, in silence. We started doing some small things. I let her relax, in order to be able to get her deep nature to come out.
And it did come out, but pretty shy. For Sophie, it was much easier. But I like to think I am patient enough. At about 1 am, I think, we took a break, for a sip of wine. I admit I was a bit disappointed, but my new apprentice did not seem to be. Even if hardly, the Elvishness inside her was getting more visible (at least for someone like me). ”How are you feeling?” She answered: ”Well, if this is only a small part of what it can be, I wonder how much more there is to it. So, you say I was Human at least until 2008?” ”Indeed. You might have been a Caterpillar before marriage, but marrying a Human would have turned you Human. The Keys leaked could have turned you back starting from 2008.” Odette looked at the window, as she stared outside: ”Is there any way to know if I was an Elf before” ”I don„t know. Perhaps you felt something when you got married or later on?” ”I am not sure. If I were an Elf back in my childhood and teen years, I may have been able to handle it all better…”
Sophie already told me Odette has had some experiences in 1989 that had an effect on her, greater than the tram one she told me already, but I wanted to let her open up. So I said: ”As you already know, there are so many things I do not know about Elves.”
”I wonder if I would have been able to defend myself and others…Only if…” She was getting emotional, I felt it, so I whispered: ”I am here to listen…” After a sigh and a few silent seconds, she went on with the story:
—
After that night where we barely escaped that tram, we were still restless. There was about a week, I think, as Laura was still with her hand in gypsum, Philip came to me with an idea. He said: ”You know, there is something that came into my head yesterday night and it sounds better and better as I think more of it. And I think it can cheer up both of us.” ”That does not sound too good…” ”I am sure it does not, but hear me out… You know my uncle knows a retired general, who was supposed to be an infantry general, but who was, actually, a Securitate general. I want to trick him and pretend to be a journalist, to get an interview with him.” ”I do not like where this is going at all…” Philip gave me one of his child smiles: ”Hear me out, please… The reporter will show a deep fake respect, ask him about his military achievements that are clearly non-existent, pay him homages and such…Then, he shall be told the country needs him, that he needs to return in power and rise above the clouds, to become our shining star…” He was laughing.
”No way.” I said. You know that the Securitate listens to everything, they shall do a check and get you locked away before even seeing him…” ”I know, darling, but remember that we pulled it out before, with that retired member of Parliament…The Securitate relies on a network of informers, if no one tells them, it shall be fine… ”No way! Don„t you realize that you shall need to publish something, if you do this?” ”I thought about that too. I shall publish a very edited version of it, dress as conservatively as possible..” I started laughing: ”They shall give you a forced haircut if, by some unknown ways, the unlikely possibility of getting to him will be achieved…” He looked at me with puppy eyes, as I had a hunch: ”No way. I am not doing this. My chances are even slimmer, you are mad.” I was really getting really angry at this. I could not believe he could be so thick-skinned. ”I was kidding, baby…” He tried to kiss me, but I refused to let him, I was really mad. I refused to talk to him that day.
I admit, he succeeded in pulling out some pranks on some people, even the one with the member of the Parliament, as he was able to disguise himself pretty well.
Anyway, we were supposed to be for an evening walk in the Bellu graveyard a few hours from this, so we needed to get ready for it. I could not be too silent on him, because we needed to talk about the details. We met with the Duke and Laura at Șura Mare and we went to the graveyard. It was quite an unremarkable afternoon, until Philip started talking about Tineretului (Youth) Park, which was close to the graveyard.
(Back then, that park was still quite new, being created in the 1960ies. Before the park, in the area there was a Muslim Romani ghetto, a very feared place, a landfill and a lake. The lake was reshaped, the Romani were relocated, their mosque was relocated as well, several streets with small houses were demolished, and the garbage partially relocated, partially covered. Before the park, the area was called Cocioc or Valea Plângerii, ”Valea Plângerii” meaning ”Valley of Tears” or ”Valley of Crying”, a reference to the horrid nature of the place. The old Bucharest crematory was located at the edge of the park, but it was older than the park itself.)
”You know, I heard a few days ago a tale about Tineretului Park, something regarding the time it was built. On one of the slopes, there was some sort of cave, or it was discovered. In that cave, some dangerous creature lived, and it had some sort of pact with the Romani witches in the area, helping them with their black magic.” ”Who told you this?” asked The Duke. ”My cousin Andrei.” ”And you trust Andrei on what he says?…” I intervened, still angry about the thing from a few hours ago.
Philip replied: ”He said he heard it from the father of a neighbor, who was supposed to have been an eye witness to something. I know Andrei tends to distort things, but some truth can be in it. We know the city has lots of catacombs, not open to the public (Not open in 2023 either.), some date back from centuries ago. It is said the crematory was built in that place precisely to cover the entrance of a tunnel in the area. Maybe it was not a cave, because we do not have the bedrock required for caves to form in Bucharest, but some entrance to a tunnel. Who knows what they hide in there? We could try and give it a look at the area. It is a public park, still daylight, unlikely anything will happen.” In a few minutes, we decided to go there.
Soon after leaving the graveyard, about the place where is now the small graveyard of the heroes of the Revolution, we met Razorblade and her gang. They were a fierce Punk gang, pretty rough and quite feared by gangsters. Razorblade, with her large mohawk, piercings and tattoos made even many Militia (police) agents to step back. Some members had some prison time served. We were not quite friends, but not quite enemies either. All the Goths of Bucharest showed them respect and tried not to get in their way. There were about ten of them there.
”What’s up?”Razorblade asked the Duke. ”Nothing in particular,” he replied. ”Just chilling in the graveyard, we are going to Tineretului now.” ”Is that so? Are you looking for trouble?” ”No. Why do you ask?” At this point, things could get a little nasty. ”I know about the tram thing. Is it true?” ”Yes.” ”I have a feeling you are doing something. I do not know what. The Securitate shall not like it. There are many weird stories, something is going on. I do not know what, we saw many agents in this area. Perhaps you should back off and go home.” ”I think we can handle it.” answered the Duke like a bit shy.
Razorblade measured us with her eyes. ”You know,” she said, ”You Goths are squishy. If they get you, they turn you to mush in a minute.” No one of us dared to contradict her. ”I don’t know what it is cooking, but I do not like it. There are some signs in the newspapers, nonsensical articles, or phrases. I am sure there are signals to Securitate agents. In ”Scânteia Tineretului” they said that all who go to the seaside use sunscreen. Sunscreen in december? If that is not a signal, I do not know what is…” The Duke answered: ”You know we live in times when they say a lot of stupidities. Perhaps some boss somewhere said something and a very submissive journalist complied with what he thought it was, not what it actually was.” Razorblade laughed. ”How old are you? Really? Anyway, if you want trouble, go ahead.” Then her tone changed into one a little more menacing: ”But do not get anything into us. Got it?” ”Of course.” replied with his aristocratic smile we knew too well.
We proceeded into the park, Razorblade and her peers went towards Șura Mare, then she clapped her hands. We stopped in our tracks, she signaled the Duke to come to her. He complied. She whispered something in his ear, he nodded his head. At the end, Razorblade added to all of us: ”Remember to be silent.” and we went on our way.
We entered the Valea Plângerii entrance (a leftover of the Valea Plângerii street, that used to end on the other side of what is now the park, now ending on a corner of the park, on the other side) into the park and went towards the place Philip suggested. As we sat on the grass, we shared a drink. Soon enough, Philip started to look for something where he thought there was the entrance to that ”cave”, on a slope. I came after him, in the bushes, calling him to get back. We left Laura and the Duke pretty out of sight. Soon enough, we heard an authoritative, deep male voice: ”Stop at once and put your hands up!” As I did not know who they were talking to, I layed down, hoping they would not see me, probably Philip did the same, as I could not see him anymore.
I tried not to breathe, if possible. Even so, my heart started to beat fast. I tried to adjust my position, to make me less visible, I made a noise and, soon enough, I heard a rumble. I did a very foolish thing, deciding to run away. I exited the bush and started climbing the slope, towards an alley. Perhaps it would have been better to get downhill and run towards the other side of the park, because going up made me really slow. Noise was coming closer and closer, as I finally reached an alley and started running. Again, the same voice: ”Stop at once and put your hands up or I’ll shoot!” I stopped, as it was clear for me that was it. Perhaps it could get into the sideway bushes, but I stopped and waited for the worse.
Soon enough, several men, all about forty of age, dressed conservatively, but casually, not suits and ties, came and surrounded me. They had buzzcut haircuts, many of them had grey hair and looked at me with sharp, ruthless eyes. One of them, a little chubby, grabbed my shoulder and asked me harshly: ”Who are you and what were you doing there?” Trembling, I mumbled and answered: ”Nothing, we were a couple of friends in the park…” ”Show me your ID.” I managed to get it from my purse, even dropped it to the ground, I had to pick it up. He looked at it, looked at me and, as I put it back in, he said to the others: ”This one is for sure an enemy of the nation (This meant an opponent of the regime.), a bandit.” The others nodded their heads and the guy on his right proceeded to take out his pocket handcuffs and a black piece of cloth.
He handcuffed my hands on my back and pushed me to the ground. I started crying: ”Please… We were just staying on the grass in the park… We meant nothing… We know nothing…” I looked at them, still ruthless as stones. ”I know nothing…” The man took the black cloth, it was a hood. As he putted on my head, I started mumbling, asking for mercy. Another voice almost shouted: ”Shut up or I shall fire.” Then I felt a metallic object touching the back of my neck, so I went silent. After my head was completely covered, they took me up and started to walk me. I have not felt the gun anymore, but I kept thinking that I could be shot at any moment.
I do not know how much it took, as I was walking in the dark. My mind started thinking of scenarios, from taking me to the crematory, in order to burn me alive to getting me locked up in some basement, never to see the light of day again. I tried to figure out where we were going, as the park was pretty big, we changed direction several times, I stopped guessing the location. Branches touched me from time to time, I remember I flinched every time it happened, as some unknown thing was coming at me.
At some point, they stopped, whispered something and I felt the back of my head being grabbed and being pushed into a van and brought to the floor. I remember how much it hurt, when my pelvis hit the metal below. The van started and I felt the boots on some strong feet keeping me at place, not to jerk around too much. I do not know how much it took, it felt like an hour or so, and the gasoline smell tickled my nostrils, almost making me sneeze. Eventually, it stopped and someone growled: ”Get up!” and I felt a nudge on my ribs. I got some help from one of them, as my hands were cuffed, it was pretty harsh, I felt pain in my knees, trying to get up.
The van doors opened and it was pushed outside. My body hurt, from the journey, as I forced myself to walk where I was pushed. Pretty soon, I heard whispers and I was guided towards a door. It seems we entered some building, as I heard my footsteps on a cement floor. Pretty fast, I heard a door creaking in, whispers again and another voice growled at me: ”Stairs. Walk as instructed!” They guided me step by step, on a staircase.
From time to time, I touched, involuntarily, some wall, it felt unpainted and abrasive, like a cellar mudbrick wall. When we reached the bottom, I could hear an echo, like we were in some sort of tunnel. They made me go in a narrow line, as we turned left or right several times. Were these the famous catacombs that were closed to the general public? Behind the hood, vapors started to condense on the fabric, making breathing uncomfortable and wet. The air felt stall, in a way, but not really stall. It smelled like a large basement. More like a basement than a mine, as I remember I visited salt mines before. At some point, my foot slipped into some hole, I panicked, as I was about to fall, they grabbed and someone said in anger: ”You were told to walk in line!”.
It felt like we were going downhill, then another staircase. This time it had far fewer steps. By now, I had lost track of time, it felt like hours. I was thinking that, outside, it is already dark. I wondered if any of my friends were captured as well, if they followed, or they were taken to another place or who knows what else. Perhaps dead? I kept thinking about all those scenarios, when I started to hear something I never expected to hear in those tunnels. Water.
Soon enough, we reached a point when I was stopped. It sounded very much like an underwater river or channel. What could this be? There are some small water streams that flow underground in Bucharest (Odette refers to several tributary streams to the Dâmbovița river, firstly Bucureștioara, that starts in the Icon Garden, it is on ground level only there, then it flows underground, also Dâmbovicioara, that starts out on the Spirii Hill, both streams used be above ground streams in the past.), but they are small, this water was much stronger. Dâmbovița itself comes for a small portion under a concrete cover, but it could not be that either, because we went pretty far down. Was this a secret river? More like a secret navigation channel.
They helped get on a boat and they started the engine. Small drops of water hit my hood and hands, it did not smell too good, and that made my breathing even more difficult. It did not take too much and we stopped, and they brought me up, into another corridor with the same echoes. And not very long from this, they made me enter some door, I heard its metallic screech opening, then closing behind. A few meters away, after turning right, then left, then left again, I think, I was brought into a place where I was told to wait. I did, as I heard them moving away, after a metallic screech. I waited, listening to distant sounds. My first impulse, since there was nobody around, was to explore, to see the edges of this place, but I was afraid of a nasty surprise like another hole to fall in. All I dared to do was move my feet around a bit, to see if there was any hole very close by.
I waited and waited. Time passed, nothing clear, as my mind started making all sorts of scenarios. I was, most likely, doomed, since they brought me in here, they could not let me live and tell what I have experienced. But then, why did they blindfolded me and left me so? Just to torment me? The Securitate was famous for their tortures, who knows what they were up to? My back and my feet started to hurt. After a while, I felt the need to lie down somewhere, or at least support my back against a wall. So I dared to explore a bit around. I started exploring the floor, this time daring to go further. A wall was not very far away, some rough, brick wall, I could support my aching back to.
My next intention was to lie to the ground, but I realized that going down would make going up much more difficult. So, I needed to explore further, in order to see how big the room I was in. I followed the wall on the left and soon reached a corner. I followed the wall, until I hit some metal vessel. My foot hurt a bit but, fortunately, the boot offered some protection. I managed to reach the end of the wall, into another corner. I followed the next wall till the end, it ended in something metallic and with holes. There were some bars, and this was some sort of prison cell. I followed the cell to the end, reaching another wall, I explored again, then the corner. Taking the metal vessel as a landmark, I estimated the cell was about the size of a bedroom from an apartment block. I decided to go to the prison bars, to get some fresh air and listen to anything I could pick up.
Silence was broken only by some faint noises, from time to time. This took a really long time, as my tired body started to feel the need to lie down. I gave in, eventually, managing to get into the cold floor. I felt colder and colder, so I decided to avoid putting at least my head down, so I found a twisted position to sit, somewhere between sitting and lying down, with my head and a part of my back against the metal bars. It was not too comforting for too long, as the back started to ache. The handcuffs made resting on my back much more difficult and painful. In the end, I managed to support my right side against the bars, sitting where the metal ended and the wall began. I started to feel thirsty. I kept thinking of my bed at home, how comfy it was, even during long, cold nights. I do not know how long it took, it felt very long, I fell asleep.
I dreamed of being dragged to some brutal torture devices, having parts of my body removed, my legs broken and other similar things. Then, somehow, I was healed and I was with my friends again, chatting in the Bellu cemetery. It felt so fine and warm, and sweet… Philip held me in his arms, I remember placing my head on his chest and trying to fall asleep, inside the dream.
I was woken up by a boot in my ribs. I gave a moan, as a strong arm grabbed me and pulled me up. Parts of my body were numb, and getting up meant pain all over the place. The person who woke me up forced me quite harshly to be up and moving. That pain and numbness made me walk hard and slow. It did not take very long, no stairs, this time, just a few turns left and right, until, finally, I heard a door opening, I was pushed in, then it closed behind me.
I was pushed towards a wooden chair, as it seemed to be, uncuffed, then my hands were tied using some belts to the arms of the chair. Another belt was placed around my stomach to tie me to the chair. In a way, my body felt a little better than before, as I was sitting down. The hood was not removed. The air was not very stale around me, I could hear someone moving on a chair, also writing something down, probably at a desk, and the sound of typing, could have been a typewriter or an old 1980ies computer, I could not tell. I waited a few minutes, in silence, waiting.
Finally, a much softer male voice, almost gentle, said: ”Could you tell me what you were doing there?” I managed to answer: ”Nothing, we were just hanging out in a park.” The same voice, almost smiling, replied: ”And why should we believe you?” ”Well, I do not know why I was brought. Why was it a problem to be there?” ”Why do you think it was a problem?” I heard the wood of his chair like he was adjusting his position. On that, I did not know what to answer, just: ”The mere fact that I do not know what the problem is isn’t enough?” The weirdest condescending laugh I ever heard until then made me feel like this guy had some charm in him. I wonder what he looked like. The voice reminded me of those handsome Italian actors from the Italian movie and TV series. A combination of contempt and gentleman attitude, in the same tone. I really wondered what he looked like, I felt like a fifty year old man, with grey hair and a youthful face. In a few seconds, I started thinking he could have been a womanizer, when he was young, perhaps he even was that. It was an awkward silence, as I kept thinking of all those stupid things, but I was snapped out of it by the sound of his voice.
I felt his smile: ”You probably realize we know your activities and your connections.” By now I was trying to be as evasive as possible, playing innocent: ”What activities and connections?” He chuckled: ”We know about your Duke. He is connected with circles from outside our fatherland, working for them, as their agent. And the rest of you are, of course, his subordinates.” ”No, no, we are not that at all, we enjoy music, to listen to it, to create, we like culture and…” I could not find the best words to explain how we were, what we were experiencing, our youthful joy and love for the beauty of the night. It felt like me or my peers, on one hand, and this man, on the other hand, were like aliens from different planets.
”We know about your rituals. In the graveyards and elsewhere.” ”No, those are nothing, really, we are just playing around.” This time he felt a bit less polite: ”Playing around? Do I sound like a fool?” At that moment I heard a small metallic shriek very close to my head, above me. I stopped and my heart shrunk into my chest. He broke the silence: ”You better say everything. One way or the other, we shall find out all. We know you are performing supernatural acts against our fatherland.” I was startled at this: ”What? No way!” I heard another metallic shriek, coming even closer. My heart was beating faster already this time, so I continued in a startled tone: ”We are not doing anything against our country, the communist party or the president. No way!”
Another shriek, closer. I moved my head involuntarily to the right, like I did before countless times, and felt something metallic close to my temple. As a reflex, I turned my head left, the metallic thing was there too. Then, to the front, it was there too, on the back as well. It was like a metallic framework, with something that felt both blunt and sharp at the same time, one thing near each temporal bone. Near the forehead, there were also two other things like that. I could tell if this was one object or a device made of more components. I started to shake and speak in an uncontrolled tone, almost crying: ”I swear there is nothing like this. I swear!” Another shriek and that object come close to my head. And down. Already I could not move my head as much as I could due to it.
I felt him smiling gently: ”I told you we know. So you can not lie to us. We know about your Duke, so you can not fool us.” I wanted to give another emotional answer, but managed just to sob and stop talking, because one more answer could bring the device close to me and who knows what it could mean. So, I tried, desperately, to buy more time, although I felt it was just postponing the inevitable: ”What do you know?” He replied in a mildly irritated tone, but still gentleman-like: ”I do the asking here.” and chuckled. I was running out of ideas, so I said: ”We think he may be a vampire.” ”Ok, you started talking. Go on. What else?” I looked desperately for something to say: ”There is a part of his house we never saw.” ”How come?” ”In the property there are more buildings, we have only been in one of them and we were not shown all of it.” ”What else?” Lacking something else, I said: ”We never saw his parents.” ”Anything else?”
It took me some time, but I managed to continue: ”He brings music from the outside. A lot.” ”What music?” This was an opportunity to buy some time, so I started describing what he brought. The bands, the albums, the lyrics. Fortunately, I knew a lot so I had material to spill. From Bauhaus to Christian Death. I felt guilty for betraying my friends, but the fear was much greater, and I felt like every second when I delayed something that was looming was a second win.
At some point, the Charming Man halted: ”That is enough. It is time to tell me about the other things.” What could I have said in here: ”We are starting a band.” ”What kind of band?” ”Gothic rock band”. I started to describe the sound, the lyrics. Soon enough, he stopped me: ”It is clear you bring the western, capitalist, poison to our fatherland, to destroy it. This shows you also do other things, even worse.” I started to panic: ”Nothing worse… nothing…” I heard him putting his arms on the desk, as he spoke almost fatherly: ”I tell you what… We shall go deeper into this. Sooner or later, you shall say everything. So you better say everything now. Say everything. (In Romanian Spune tot means ”Say everything.”). ” I was shaking by now and I could not say a word. He went on: ”Ok then. I advise you not to move your head at all. For your own good.”
I started to sob, as I knew something started. At my temples, I started to feel an itchiness, easy at first, then growing and started to feel like a burn. I was shaking and he was right, it made it worse. As I was crying and shaking more and more, he continued in a calm, polite way: ”You can stop wailing and talk clearly, or continue until… Your choice.” I could not stop, and the burning thing entered my skull, this is how it felt, and my shaking made the hole bigger. Probably I would have lost it soon enough, but he asked: ”Have you troubled your parents in the last week?” ”What?… I think so… I did…” ”How?” ”I had an argument with mom… She said I was a dreamer, that I would get the whole family arrested and locked, that…” I had to stop and swallow my tears, but I continued without being asked: ”I told her she is stupid and backwards, I told her she has no idea…” ”Anything else this week?”
I started describing things that happened in the recent past, the he scrutinized me deeper and deeper, it felt like a rape, I felt that, the more and more I said to this man, I was loosing something more and more, I was going deeper and deeper into a pit, becoming more and more empty. All to survive. That thing continued drilling and, as I was losing it more and more, I became stiffer. In a way, I was losing control of myself, but also gaining it, by losing it. Or something else gained over me. It was like a desperate run in a mine, further and further away from the light, in a tunnel, until I reached a dead end. That thing, it felt like a ray of something, started to resonate with my head, then with my brain, and I started to sense some things. I started to remember the day before, even details I have not at first. Like how the eyes of the men who took me were blurry, but I did not notice it.
Now, I felt images coming to my mind, like in imagination, of the place around me. I could not escape those images to my mind, as they grew stronger, more clear and started to unite into some sort of movie. Like I was seeing without my eyes, like some sort of X-ray black and white vision, as something from that ray tried to engulf my brain or my mind. ”You shall say everything. You shall lose. Do not fight it, it is pointless.” He left me for a few seconds, then went on: ”Spune tot.” What could I say? I had a thought: Lie. Lie. Lie.
I started to shout things regarding orgies organized by the Duke, where we sacrificed puppies and kittens to get the regime out, we drank their blood. I started telling even more ridiculous lies, that we planned to hunt Militia and Securitate agents, in order to please the spirits who wanted to destroy socialism, by sacrificing the agents to the spirits. Soon, I will get to the bottom. My new sight got sharper and sharper, I saw the man who looked, more or less, how I imagined him to be, on his desk, typing. Some sort of swish-like sound started, gently at first, then it got louder. My mind, eventually, blocked, as I could not come up with any lie. I looked into his eyes, or fake eyes.They were like hot, misty water, and they tried to pierce my mind.
”Are you hiding something or lying to me? I will know.” Hiis calm voice sounded like some sort of thunder.
The swish made me dizzy and it felt intoxicating. It was a swarm of flies, or mosquitos, coming closer, growing in numbers. I managed to mumble: ”No, I am not.” Most likely he felt something. The swish started to feel like voices. I could not understand them at first, but my subconscious started to react to them before my conscious mind did. That beam was getting stronger and, with it, the voices and their power over me. I was going down as moments went on, there were forces that pushed me, that wanted me to surrender more and more, accept my fate of going into the abyss. I was screaming or making some desperate attempt at a sound, I do not remember.
The Charming Man added: ”If you do not talk openly, your eyes would be next.” And indeed, I started to feel something coming close to my eyes, as the storm of voices started to enhance: ”Spune tot.” The Charming Man said as well: ”Spune tot. Spune tot. No hope for you, you shall fall. Give up. Give up.” My screams turned into some kind of howl, I think. The voices around were clearer and louder: ”Give up. Give up. Give yourself to us. Nothing can help you. All started to feel like some sort of tornado coming over me, trying to pull me into the abyss.”
”You shall acknowledge what I shall say about you. You shall repeat in your own voice, what I command you to. Think of your eyes.” Already I found breathing really, really hard, my chest started to hurt, as I could no longer get enough oxygen and I felt those things coming close to my eyes. The voices kept hurling: ”Give up, give up, give up.” I agreed to the Charming Man to repeat after him.
(Now, Odette was not very coherent, she said some things that I think some shall be better kept out. Really degrading things, like he asked to say she was a whore, that she committed some horrific and disgusting things, to break her more and more, to push her to the final demise. Even on her parents, on her principles, she could not help it.)
I felt empty, desolate, and I could not even speak anymore. Like an atomic desert. The choir of voices screamed in my mind, then I had a thought, I spoke it out loud: ”Lord, please…” The Charming Man, piercing me with his burning void eyes, said: ”God shall not help you. You are already abandoned by Him. So, renounce Him and once and submit to us. Now.”
It was a second. Against all odds, there was something that was still keeping me from doing this one last thing. This one last thing. I was not a religious person. Not an atheist, but neither living faith. But it felt important, somehow, yet very faint was this resistance. The storm of voices said: ”No chance. Renounce God, submit to us and accept your demise. Now! Now! Now!” The abyss was a second away, my mind could not hold on, I felt. Shall I pray? Shall accept the last request and give up? Or what?…”
The Charming Man and the voices said at once, in the most commanding tone: ”Give up now!” Then I finally lost it. I do not remember saying anything, but it felt like I let go and accepted the fall into the deep dark underneath. My mind fell in it, it was over. Lost for good. Then I do not remember a thing.
The next morning, I was found sitting on a bench in the I.O.R. park (That is in the east of the city, pretty much the opposite of the Tineretului park, sleeping or in a sleep-like state. I was not laying down, but sitting. The public services maintenance people discovered me, I remember a middle aged woman touching me and saying: ”What are you doing in here, miss?” It was very rare to see people in the parks at night during that time, even more than in the western world, so my presence was kind of out of place at that time. It took me a few seconds to understand what was going on, as I rose up. I did not answer, but I started walking on the alleys, until I exited the park. Only then I realized where I was, and I walked towards home and, as it took several hours, my body started to feel pain, as my mind started to become aware.
There were not any permanent injuries, except for burn marks at the temples. I went in the same day to the hospital, although I was afraid to. I lied that I was attacked and that I do not remember much. The skin was burned on a very small area, about two square centimeters. I feared that they would become suspicious and call the Militia, I was right. I was questioned, I said I was attacked in the Tineretului park and that I do not remember much. I found out my friends escaped without an issue, I was the only one captured. They kind of mixed lies, but Militia did not insist. Probably they got a call from Securitate. From the doctors, I found out the burns went deep, in the bone, maybe deeper. A CT scan was not possible, only some minimal treatment was applied, like antibiotics. Years later I had a CT scan, in the UK, and the scars seemed similar to the ones from surgeries made using laser scalpel. (I checked Odette„s scalp, I can testify the scars are there.)
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This concludes the second story of Odette. I have another one for you, soon. Update: Part 3