You won’t believe this, but I swear on my life, it’s the truth. I think I’m losing my goddamn mind. I have to… okay, okay, I need to start from the beginning. See, I’ve been dabbling in lucid dreaming lately. Been having these vivid, messed up nightmares, you see… I just wanted some semblance of control over my mental state, you know?
I felt like therapy wasn’t cutting it anymore, I needed something more, so I gotten into this lucid dreaming thing. But the things I’ve seen, the encounters I’ve had, they’ve changed me, man. I’ve gotta get this out, gotta let the world know about this shit ‘cause its importance… it can’t be overstated.
So here’s the thing, in my lucid dreams, I’ve been having these bizarre experiences. In the dreams, waking up suspended over an abyss, right? Surrounding me, there’s this sterile, white room, bathed in blinding lights, and in the distance, a glass pane. Can’t exactly make out what’s behind it, and it paints this real surreal scene.
At first, it didn’t bother me much. I woke up, had this lingering unease the whole day but shrugged it off. But then the next few times, as I regained lucidity in my dreams, the same scenario would play out. At first, I could do the usual stuff, you know, flying around and the likes, but then the dream would always, without fail, transition into this… this suspension above the abyss.
I’d be strapped in place with ropes or chains, my limbs stretched out toward the cool walls of this clinical, white room. And beneath me, just infinite darkness. It felt like gazing into the maw of oblivion, and it was… it was downright petrifying.
The dread, man. The absolute fucking dread. In particular that glass pane in the distance and the infinite abyss below me, it was eating away at me. I started wondering what was behind the glass, and what, if anything, was at the bottom of that godforsaken hole. Its vast, infinite expanse was just pulling me in, gnawing at my sanity. It’s hard to describe, you know? It’s not something you can just put into words.
Soon, it became a nightly routine. Almost every single dream ended with me suspended over that abyss, and this paralyzing sense of dread seeping into me, becoming more and more prominent. Eventually, I decided I had to stop, I couldn’t go on like this. I spoke to my therapist about it, and they said it might be a manifestation of some negative childhood experiences, and advised me to quit lucid dreaming for the time being. It wasn’t doing me any good, they said.
I upped my meds, and tried something else, but no matter what I did, I couldn’t shake off the lucidity. It’s weird because in the past, becoming lucid required effort, with reality checks, dream journaling, and whatnot. But now, even when I set the intention to not lucid dream, I found myself more lucid than ever, and always, without fail, ended up above the abyss.
At one point, I tried to inspect my body in the dream, and I think I was naked. I noticed something on my arm, like a small needle. I realized it was an IV drip. Something was being pumped into me. I freaked out, man. What the hell was happening? Was I part of some fucked up mind control experiment? Was I being drugged? I couldn’t make sense of it all.
Soon after noticing the IV, I saw shadows moving behind the glass pane. There were figures there, watching me. The terror I felt about these figures lurking behind the glass was even more pronounced than the dread induced by the abyss. It was all kinds of messed up, but amidst the fear, I felt this sudden urge to know more.
So I shouted out, “Hey! Who’s there? Talk to me, you creepy fucks!”
To my surprise, a voice crackled to life over the speakers. It said, “We’ve never seen someone maintain lucidity to this extent. Your perceptive abilities are impressively consistent. How did you achieve this?”
“I don’t fucking know”, I said. “It’s not like I want to be here. Is this even real?”
The voice replied, “Yes, this is happening. This is the actual reality, the true nature of reality.”
“What the fuck? You say my dreams are reality? You’ll have to prove that for me to believe you at all”, I said.
“You will see by the consistency of this reality”, the voice said. “But first, demonstrate to us that you are indeed lucid enough for us to continue this conversation. It’s not something we usually do. It might, however, be a path to conquer the darkness.”
And then, like every other time, the dream ended.
I relayed the whole fucked up scenario to my therapist, who, unsurprisingly, suggested it was a fantastical manifestation of my own fears. My subconscious testing boundaries, pushing limits, trying to get under my skin. But when I asked them what to do, they proposed a plan: continue engaging with the dream. Try to spot inconsistencies in its logic. After all, if it is all just a product of my mind, it is bound to falter at some point.
So yeah, I haven’t slept yet after that convo with my therapist, so I’ll see how it goes. I just wanted to post this here so people can share whether they had similar dreams about a white room and/or bottomless hole like that. It’s terrifying to me. But I think my therapist is right. I can prove that it’s just a dream by showing how its logic is inconsistent you know… dreams are just sorta messy like that. Anyways, would be really happy to hear what you guys think about all this. Is this common for lucid dreamers? Should I be concerned? What could I ask the guy in the dream?
Thanks for reading everyone, it means a lot to be able to get this off my chest.