My husband and I have been together for 5 years, married for 3 and a half. Since we got married we have been trying for a baby, with no luck. We did everything the books told us to do, track my temperature, legs up after our attempts, even using those at home ovulation tests. Every test I take has always came up with only one little pink line, it’s heartbreaking. 5 months ago however, something changed. It started off as little things, some nausea mid-day, and I became more moody. I thought that we finally did it. I let the symptoms progress for a week to make sure it wasn’t a bug and they became more and more intense. I was excited, I raced home after work and took a test, but to my surprise, negative. I didn’t understand, so I waited a week and took another, negative. My symptoms kept getting more and more intense and there were some added ones as well. I was having extreme nausea, intense mood swings, and I was lethargic beyond what I believed was even possible. Still, the tests were negative. I must have taken about 20 of those at home pregnancy tests within the next two weeks, just hoping to see a faint second line, but nothing ever showed. My husband said that maybe a trip to the OB/GYN wouldn’t hurt, and they could give me a blood test to confirm or deny. I could see the faint glimmer of hope in his eyes so we made the appointment for the following week.
Over the week my symptoms became so bad I couldn’t go into work as I was in a fetal position by the toilet wrakced with such intense nausea and tiredness. I couldn’t eat, sleep, or do anything beyond just sitting by the toilet. My appointment came and my husband joined me to the office. I explained to the doctor what has been going on and he agreed that some women never get a positive on at home pregnancy tests, and he ordered blood work for me. Just for safe measures, they had me take a urine test as well. Three days after I had my blood work done, the doctor called me with the results.
Negative
My heart sank and broke into a million different pieces, he then explained that this may be a case of false pregnancy. Meaning my mind was coming up with pregnancy symptoms and they were having a physical affect on me. This “diagnosis” didn’t stop the symptoms. As the weeks progressed, my nausea and tiredness became better but didn’t go away completely, but I was able to return to work. My husband and I discussed looking into fertility treatments, and we thought this was the end of the “false pregnancy”. Oh how wrong we were
About 2 months passed and I noticed that I was significantly more bloated than I usually am. I do want to note that I am a pretty slender and any weight gain is significantly noticeable on me. I figured I put some extra weight on since my husband and I haven’t had the time to cook and have been getting fast food the past few weeks. I dismissed it as that and went on with my day. The next day however, something happened that I never expected, my pants didn’t fit and my stomach was even more swollen than the day before. I didn’t know what to think so I called for my husband to take a look at me. When he came into the room, he asked me what was wrong, and I showed him my belly which was distended about 2-3 inches past the opening of my jeans. He didn’t know what to make of it either, he decided to palpate my stomach and it was hard as a rock. He looked at me and asked if I had taken a test, I shook my head and sped off to the bathroom to take one.
Negative…
I showed him the test and I could see the heavy confusion in his face and eyes. He sighed and then told me to call the doctor to get an ultrasound as his concern was this was some sort of weird growth. We prayed it wasn’t cancer. I got an appointment the following week, and by the time the appointment came around, my stomach had grown a bit more, about 2 more inches. I went to the appointment by myself as my husband had work but I promised to keep him updated. As I laid there on the exam table and the ultrasound tech took a look in my uterus, I kept my eyes at the ceiling, too afraid to look at the screen to see what is there. The room was quiet except for the sound of us breathing. After what felt like an eternity, the ultrasound tech removed the wand and told me the doctor would be in to see me shortly. After about 15 minutes the doctor came back and said nothing unusual came up in my ultrasound, and that this growth was not pregnancy related. He then handed me a business card of a fertility specialist and told me to give him a call when I get my situation taken care of.
I fell into a depression after that, I truly did not know what was wrong with me and I was too afraid to go to another doctor fearing that this was something horrible. I took a leave of absence from my job and the next month and a half were filled with me just laying in bed, only getting up to use to bathroom and maybe eat. I hadn’t looked at myself at all during this time and my husband began working longer hours to pick up the slack of me not working, so he was rarely home anymore. I became paranoid, scared he was going to cheat or leave me because I became this hollow of the woman he married, who couldn’t give him a child. Then something happened that snapped me out of my depression.
I felt movement in my belly.
It happened quick but it was such a powerful jolt inside me I couldn’t ignore it. It felt as if someone took their fist and ran it across the inside of my stomach. I became paralyzed in that moment, not sure what to do or how to react, then it happened again. I screamed in terror as I lept out of my bed and dashed for the mirror in my bedroom. There to my horror, I see my stomach had grown to the size of a small watermelon. I was struck with fear as I started at myself in the mirror, unsure how I had grown to this size without noticing. I touched my swollen belly and suddenly, the movement again, only this time where my hand previously was. It was almost like whatever was inside of me did not want me touching it. I didn’t know what to do, I just started at myself for what felt like hours. Then I heard the front door open, my husband was home. I screamed for him to come into the room and he flew in, bewildered as to what the commotion was for. There he saw my stomach, and I could see the fear in his eyes. Both at loss for what to do, I called my primary doctor and explained everything that had been happening, he was skeptical but told me that if this was a concern then I should go to the emergency room. So, I showered, got dressed, and my husband drove me to the emergency room. There I was poked and prodded for what felt like hours, but whatever was inside of me did not move a muscle. After about 6 hours of tests and waiting, everything came back normal, but the doctors were confused as to what was happening. Then I felt the movement again, only this time the nurse in the room with me saw my belly shift and stretch with the movement. A team of doctors rushed in, to again poke and prod, but nothing came of their observations.
I was admitted to the hospital, and that’s where I have been staying. My belly has only grown more and more. They do not know what is happening to me, but late last night I heard one of the overnight doctors talking to a nurse that they have contacted a special team that are to come in and take a look at me. I couldn’t make out much but I hope this team can figure out what is wrong with me.
But, whatever is inside of me, they are NOT allowed to take away from me.
Small update: That “special Team” just left not too long ago, after hours of observation and tests. If there is one thing I want to make clear, it is that they were NOT doctors. There were some that were dressed in lab coats and then the rest seemed to be military personnel. Those in the lab coats said absolutely nothing to me whatsoever, in fact, they didn’t really talk to one another either. My husband is nowhere to be found either. He disappeared sometime last night and hasn’t returned. I have been very protective over my belly though, I refused to let them touch me to the point they restrained me until their testing was over. I kept screaming that they leave me be or tell me what they were doing but to no avail, I don’t think anyone in this hospital cares about the torture they put me through. I don’t think I can stay in this hospital anymore and I want my husband. But I feel that he knows more than he is letting on. I may try and escape tonight, I need to protect my baby at all costs. I feel him moving more and more inside me and it comforts me knowing that I am his momma, I have been thinking up names too. I’m so excited to be a mom. I’ll update you when I can.