I think I did something.
Months back, this job came up on Indeed, a creative copywriter job for a women led non profit organization. I had all the qualifications needed: master’s level education, 5+ years of experience and a desire to work in an open and inclusive environment. The pay actually matched the description and for the first time in months, didn’t require one of those dumb skills tests so I applied.
I know how this goes, how jobs that aren’t actually hiring post to make it look like they care, I didn’t expect to hear back but I did, I went through I think three interviews, and got the job. I’ve got remote Fridays, a good health package, and my boss is really attentive. I’m really happy here, or at least I thought I was.
Till Linda.
“Linda’s a bit old school, you know?” My boss, Emily, explained on my first day as she gave me the tour of the office, the last stop being Linda, the non-profit’s outreach coordinator’s, office. My boss knocked on the door and a woman with salt and pepper hair emerged with a tight smile on her face. Before my boss can speak, Linda shook my hand, one of those handshakes that’s more of a yank than an introduction.
“You must be from the Urban Renewal Initiative! You’re a little late but that’s okay. Thanks for showing her in Emily. “ Linda said, and I faltered, my boss cringed and for a brief moment time stopped.
I had no idea what Linda was talking about but I did understand that Linda had put the word urban and my appearance together and made an assumption.
“Linda, this is our new copywriter Maya. She’ll be working in our creative department.” My boss said and Linda gave a shocked face.
“Oh my god, hi! It’s good to meet you Maya.” Linda said in an upbeat tone that should have provided an apologetic tone but did not.
It was my first day, I know I should have said something, anything but I didn’t.
“It’s nice to meet you too.” I smiled back.
“Don’t worry, your departments don’t overlap. Let’s meet the team, shall we?” Emily whispered as we set off, the entire time I could feel Linda’s eyes on me.
That should have been it but it wasn’t.
Two weeks later, Linda appeared at my desk, face in a folder.
“I’m going to need thirty copies of these, do you think you’ll be able to manage that?” She barked out.
I froze.
I’m a firm believer of “ don’t start nothing, there won’t be nothing.” and in that moment, my next action would have started something.
“I’m not sure I understand what you mean.” I said, keeping my tone even and hearing my voice was enough to make her look up.
“Oh my goodness, Maya! I thought you were Ruby. I’m going to need more coffee, huh? “ Linda said, laughing.
Ruby was the non profit’s intern, a sweet college student who brought her puppy in once a week.
Ruby was the only other black woman in the office.
“Ruby’s not back from lunch yet, I’ll let her know to stop by your office when she gets back.” I said with a smile before shifting my eyes back to my laptop which should have ended the conversation but Linda’s papers still remained outstretched in my direction.
“I don’t suppose you could do me a favor, honey? I’m swamped back there and I’ve got a meeting in five. You know the copy code right? “ Linda asked, pushing the papers towards me, one catching the side of my finger, a paper cut blooming.
A tiny drop of my blood is on her paperwork yet I’m the one who has to carefully construct my tone to be apologetic.
“I’m sorry Linda, I’ve got some things here to finish up, that’s why I’m working through lunch. I’ll send Ruby your way.”
Linda studied me before gathering her papers, that pinched smile making it’s way out again.
“I know you’re new here Maya but you should know we’re like family here, we help each other. We lift each other up, not tear each down.”
“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind Linda, thank you. “ I said, meeting her gaze.
She said nothing else, turned on her heel and walked away.
Out of the corner of my eye I spotted where her paper had cut my finger and for a second as she huffed away, I saw an entire bloody handprint on the back of the paper.
Anyway, when I told my boss she groaned and shook her head.
“This isn’t the first time she’s done this, I’m sorry Maya. She’s harmless but she does really great work. If it gets any worse, we’ll go to HR okay?”
As you can guess, it got worse.
A few weeks later, Ruby walked out of Linda’s office and never returned to the organization.
From that day on, Linda began to ask me for things: copies, coffee refills, restocking the supply closet. The first few times, I will admit, I gave in, trying to help as we were down an intern, till it began to become a daily occurrence. When they saw what was happening, others in our department would jump in and try to redirect her but she would just laugh in that embarrassed grandma sort of way and move on.
But no matter what, she would always ask for me.
“She’s so fucking weird, I don’t know what’s up her ass lately. Wanna grab dinner?” My boss asked as we packed up for the day. We had established a good relationship these past few months and despite everything, she was a great boss
“I’m kinda tired, I think I’m just gonna head home.”
When I walked past Linda’s office on my way out, something in my stomach twisted. I nearly doubled over, not knowing if I wanted to scream or vomit, a sudden bit of sweat dripping down on my back. As soon as I took a step away from her office door, it stopped.
I think I was just burnt out, tired.
But what if I wasn’t?
Which leads me to today. Our biggest campaign of the year is due this week and we had less than 48 hours before we presented to the director of the organization who was flying in from Dubai.
The entire department has been working overtime, we were all so tired, I was just so tired.
Five minutes before the end of my workday yesterday, she dropped a box of papers on my desk.
“Maya, when you have time I’ll need you-
“I’m not your fucking intern Linda! “ I yelled, loud enough for the entire office to hear and stop what they were doing.
For the briefest second, I swear she smiled at me.
But then she began to cry.
I don’t know if you’ve ever been in my position but if you have, you know what it’s like to feel frozen in place, like the first time you see the monster in a horror movie. The same people who had not so quietly complained about Linda, laughed behind her back were looking at me, I don’t know how to describe it.
They were looking at me like prey.
I don’t remember really what happened next, after my colleagues flew to comfort Linda, after a two minute HR meeting my boss suddenly couldn’t attend.
I do remember feeling like I was choking, during the meeting and the ride home. I was choking when I entered my apartment, barely changing my clothes and crawling into bed. Beneath the covers, I choked and choked until I whimpered out three words to the dark.
“Make her stop.”
I didn’t know it then but when you scratch at something in the dark, sometimes something scratches back.
In that instant, I could breathe again, slept well, and came to work early.
The office was mostly empty and Linda’s office door was closed.
When I got to my desk I saw it.
A bloody handprint, this time on my desk.
I was so absorbed into the hand-print, I almost didn’t notice the noise at first, a sort of rhythmic thumping against Linda’s door that seemed to get louder and louder as I approached it. That feeling of violent revulsion I had all those months ago came rushing back and everything was telling me to move away, get away from that door.
I had a hand on the doorknob before another sound came through, an otherworldly growl.
I think there’s something wrong with Linda.