I always went to the same supermarket I’d gone to essentially my whole life. It was a ritual to swing by after work a few days each week and pick up dinner for the family along with a few other groceries.
I contemplated breakfast cereal choices as i stared down at the same cracked vinyl tile in the same aisle I’v stood in many times before with the same old-school luminescent light bulbs flickering overhead.
As much as it might have embarrassed me when I was younger to say, my guilty pleasure has always been sugary cereals, and even since childhood I’ve always been a fan of whatever had marshmallows in it, especially the one everyone saw on the tv, “They’re Magically Delicious”. I thought to myself while reminiscing of those old commercials and opted to buy the name brand for once instead of the knock-offs that tasted half stale all the time.
I felt even more amused when I noticed the upper top label that promised a “special surprise” in that limited edition run of boxes.
I normally wouldn’t have gone for any of this but my wife had already informed me that her and the kids would be having dinner with her parents that night and not to expect them home before I went to bed that night. I usually left for my job at the walnut packing factory every morning at 4:30 AM, so I usually tried to be in bed by 9:30. So, I thought why not just enjoy a bowl of cereal before bed on this particular evening.
Truth be told, I had lived out the usual cliche of marrying my high school sweetheart and never leaving the small town I grown up in. I’d planned to pursue a career as an engineer but my collegiate career was cut short by baby number one when we were 19 years old.
So, I did the “right” thing and got a job at the walnut processing factory and just summed it up to the way life goes sometimes.
By the time the 3rd child had arrived my once sweetheart was now constantly enraged by even the sight of me. There were many night that she and the kids (who were now teenagers and also disdained my existence) would simply choose to have dinner elsewhere. I was, at this point, the slob that payed the bills and a hindrance to their joy in life it seemed.
I chuckled to myself as the acne-ridden cashier rang up this cereal because i knew my wife would nag at me for daring to buy “expensive cereal” for just myself.
As I loaded the groceries into my old Toyota though, I thought that I heard a voice coming from one of the bags. I shook it off as a long day taking its toll, but then I swore that I saw a red glow in my backseat that I just happened to catch for a second in my rear-view mirror.
I cannot explain why, but I got home, I quickly found the box of cereal, opened and peeled the plastic bag open, and started to pour my bowl. That’s when i heard the little thunk and quickly remembered the promise of a “surprise” in every box. It too was wrapped in a small plastic baggy and when i opened it up, it actually gave me a startle.
There was that familiar image. The shamrock-green attire and top hat, along with the red hair sticking out from underneath that hat. The blank stare in its eyes as it faced forward. And, an almost eerie grin spread across its face in a far from natural way. All in a 5” stature.
The thing creeped me out if I’m being honest so simply shoved it into the spare kitchen drawer where we kept our batteries, I inadvertently hit the button I never realized was on the backside of the figurine. This caused its eyes to light up red and a small recording repeat: “They’re Magically delicious!!” In an Irish accent.
I felt more than a little unnerved at the idea that this was supposed to be a children’s toy, but shrugged it off and proceeded shut the drawer and to down not one, but two bowls of that marshmallow goodness that night.
After I finished, I headed out of the kitchen and up stairs, I paused and looked towards the box of cereal, “Thanks for a trip down memory lane and a nice treat, but I’m afraid your “magic” can’t fix all of my problems”, before I continued up the stairs towards my bedroom.
I was only halfway up the stairs when I thought I heard something along the lines of “let’s test your luck” and a dull red glow casting shadows from the kitchen. I was either extremely tired or I was losing it so I admittedly jetted up the stairs a bit creeped out!
Usually I would stay awake until I heard my family arrive home downstairs on nights like this and then I’d go to sleep. They might hate the sight of me but I still felt the innate sense to ensure they were safe.
That night though, I fell almost immediately into one of the deepest sleeps I’d ever experienced and dream’t all night about things I’d long given up on. In my dream I was in college out East somewhere, the top of my class, and a top engineering job already waiting for me when I graduated. I also had a supermodel girlfriend who was pursuing a degree in fashion and we were planning a weekend away together on the coast when a red glow overcame my dreams and an almost primal-sounding scream jolted me out of my sleep.
I reached over instinctually to check on my wife. She wasn’t there which gave me a slight pause, but she was known to sleep in the spare bedroom when she felt especially annoyed by my presence.
Still, that scream had me on edge, so I bolted out of bed and started down the upstairs hallway. That’s when I heard the second scream and recognized it immediately as my oldest son’s.
I darted down the stairs as fast as I could, and, as I did my nostrils were assaulted by the most metallic smell that I couldn’t place in my state of panic at the moment.
I saw a red glow come and go in waves in my descent and then swore I heard the sound of the most disgusting type of slurping noise, much like when a 4 year old eats spaghetti.
I ran straight around the corner towards the kitchen but I slipped immediately on the tile and slammed the back of my head upon landing. When I tried to get up I kept slipping and loosing my grip from something wet and slimy on the floor. I finally crawled to the light switch by the refrigerator and when I turned it on, I yelled aloud when I realized that I was covered in blood! It wasn’t just a little bit of blood either. It was literally everywhere in the kitchen; on the table, handprints on the cabinets and fridge, and pools of it leading to the living room and onto the carpet.
And it wasn’t just blood either. The viscera reminded my of the summer I spent working at the local poultry processor as a teenager. There were pieces of… well, something once living everywhere I looked in that kitchen along with shreds of clothing that I recognized as belonging to my wife.
I started screaming for my family but received no response. In a panic I rushed all over the house but saw no evidence of any of them anywhere. That is except for the blood and carnage that the entire house was covered in. I didn’t want to believe what I knew the source of all of this once was.
I scrambled to find my cell phone that was tucked away in my jacket on the kitchen chair the night before and dialed 911.
But, right as I started to dial I saw that red glow again. This time I realized exactly where it was coming from sitting, not from the drawer any longer, but right in front of me on the kitchen table. The light intensified beyond what any reasonable person would believe possible for the figurine and then I heard a familiar distorted voice begin to play:
“They’re magically delicious”..
It was then that I realized that the grin on its face had dropped into an even deeper arc and the figurine was absolutely coated in deep red blood.
To my astonishment I realized now that I was actually seeing its plastic mouth break free of its natural boundaries and it’s lips began to move as it repeated itself:
“Ahem, I said: they were magically delicious”
I yelled at him with both the most fear and rage a being could ever muster up within themself and asked where my family was.
“Your wish was my command, My friend. You are a free man now, so let’s say you and I go find what’s at the end your rainbow, eh”.
“Besides, They truly were.. magically delicious!!”