I worked as a software engineer at a biotechnology company many years ago, which I am keeping anonymous because the country I live in does not exactly have whistleblower laws.
There is a skunkworks division at the company that no one in the company is aware about, aside for a few colleagues who have heard pieces of info here and there. What they do is all but concealed from the outside world.
One time, after coming back to the office from lunch, I overheard the secretary (who I will call E) having an intense conversation on the phone. She looked distressed, trying her best to reassure the person on the other end. Whoever she was talking to was clearly agitated, as even I could hear him all the way from my station.
E must have noticed that I was eavesdropping, since she came to me immediately after hanging up.
“Hey OP, since you are here, could you run me an errand?”
I didn’t want to make the situation anymore awkward, so I accepted the offer right there and then. In hindsight, I should have refused.
“Sure, what is it?”
E hesitated for a bit, wondering if she should entrust me with whatever she was given.
“The head of the project wants me to get some documents printed out and he needs them urgently, but I can’t leave the office. He told me he already sent the files via email. Could you go to the print shop down the street and pick them up for me?”
“Sure thing, just send me the address.”
“Thanks, and sorry about this. If I could leave the office I would have gone myself.”
I went to the print shop and got the documents printed out, the owner thanking me for making him finish his day’s work early. When I got back, E seemed to be in a much better mood, having had some time to herself to relax and take a breather.
“How is it?”
“It’s done.”
I handed her the envelope with the documents, which she promptly opened. The contents were mostly graphs, diagrams, and text, all of them looking very confidential.
“Thank you so much, I owe you one!”
She said, with a look of relief on her face.
“It’s not a big deal, but why are you printing out all these things in the first place? Isn’t it more practical to have them on a computer or on a flash drive?”
“Ah, well, that is the problem… you see, the head of the project has a very special setup at home. It’s the only way for him to access these files.”
“What does he have at home?”
“He has a printer, a fax machine, and a scanner, but he doesn’t have a computer.”
That was rather odd, I thought.
“Well, to be fair, he has a computer, but it’s too old to be of any use. You probably know where I’m going with this. So yeah, all these things have to be printed out. I hope the head of the project doesn’t get mad at me.”
I assured E that everything was going to be fine, and that the head of the project was surely going to praise her for being able to deliver the files in a timely manner.
“Well, if you say so. I’ll just leave him a message saying that you’ve taken care of it. That way he won’t think that I’ve been slacking off.”
We had a quick chat, and before leaving, I couldn’t help but ask.
“Do you have any idea what this project is about? I can’t really make any sense out of those documents.”
“I don’t know, the head of the project only talks to my boss and no one else. He’s always been a bit weird, but lately he’s become a real pain in the ass.”
“Oh, is he? How come?”
“Well, you see, the project has been stalled for quite some time. There have been problems with the research team and the company has been unwilling to invest any more money in it, not that we have anything left to begin with.”
“Then what is he doing? Just trying to get it done?”
“It looks like it, but he’s not the type of person who can make a change. My guess is that he’s trying to salvage the project, if that is even possible.”
“I’m sure he can pull it off. If he is the head of the project, it should be no problem.”
“I’m not so sure about that. You have seen him. He’s always angry and frustrated. Plus, I don’t think he is very good at what he does.”
“How do you know?”
“You are not the only one who can run an errand, you know. My boss asked me to bring him some documents. I’ve never been to his office before, but when I arrived, I found him sitting at his desk, looking completely lost.”
“What do you mean by ‘looking lost’?”
“When I saw him, he was surrounded by a pile of paper. There were stacks of graphs, data, and tables all over the floor, and he was buried in a sea of paper, looking for something. He looked at me, but didn’t seem to know what to do. In the end, I had to help him.”
“You should have known by then that he was a mess.”
“No, I didn’t. At the time, I didn’t have a clue. He seemed like a capable and confident man. I assumed he had a lot of work to do, but I had no idea that he was just sitting there, clueless.”
“He didn’t look like a mess?”
“Not at all. He was sitting there, wearing his coat, staring at his computer screen, his face covered in sweat.”
“What were you thinking?”
“Nothing really. I was just trying to get the job done, so I started searching through the papers. When I asked him what I should be looking for, he didn’t say anything, but continued staring at the computer screen. I didn’t even know what the file was.”
“Maybe he was just nervous because he had a visitor?”
“I don’t think so. He was very calm. It was almost creepy. He was sitting there, completely quiet, watching me dig through the papers, without moving a finger.”
“I can’t imagine what you were thinking.”
“I didn’t think much of it at the time. I just thought that he was a weird guy, but nothing more. Besides, it’s not like he was a stranger. I had seen him in the office a few times before.”
“Well, at least you found the file.”
“Yeah, and when I did, I gave it to him and tried to leave, but he wouldn’t let me go. He was asking me all kinds of questions about the company. At first, I thought he was trying to impress me, but when I realised he wasn’t, I became scared. He was acting really weird, and I couldn’t understand why he was doing that. I kept asking myself, ‘why is this guy being so aggressive? Does he have a crush on me or something?’ But no, he was just curious. He was a strange man, that’s all.”
“I can imagine. Did he tell you anything about the project?”
“Not much, but I did learn a few things. He told me that he had been working on this project for many years. Apparently, he had started working on it back when he was still a graduate student.”
“Really? That’s quite impressive.”
“Yeah, I was really surprised. He had been working on the project for so long, and he was still a graduate student. Most of the people who work on such projects are post-docs or faculty members, so I was really impressed. I don’t know how he did it, but he did it, and I think it was quite a feat.”
“I can’t believe that someone who was working on a project for years, and still a graduate student, could be this incompetent.”
“I know, it’s unbelievable. The guy is a complete mess. He’s not just incompetent, he’s incompetent to the point of being stupid.”
“I find that hard to believe.”
“I wish I were joking, but I’m not. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had to repeat a year.”
“How come he’s a graduate student?”
“Because he wasn’t able to complete his degree. He failed his exams. Twice. His supervisor had to take him out of his program.”
“You’re kidding, right?”
“No, I’m not. I was told all of this by my boss. He’s a nice guy, but a bit of a gossip. He likes to tell me about the employees and what they are up to. It’s his way of passing the time.”
“So, he failed his exams twice. How is that even possible? I mean, it’s a PhD exam. How do you fail a PhD exam?”
“That’s exactly what I thought, and then I asked my boss, and he told me that the guy was just too stupid to pass. He didn’t have the intelligence, the drive, or the skills. He was a complete failure.”
“How come the guy managed to stay a PhD student for so long?”
“The guy was a prodigy. He was the youngest person in his cohort, and one of the smartest. Everyone thought he would be a big success. He had everything going for him. He had a good education, he was extremely ambitious, and he was a genius. He was so intelligent, in fact, that he could do anything he wanted, and no one could stop him. The only problem was that he was lazy. He never did any work. He would spend hours on end playing video games, or watching TV, or doing whatever he felt like doing. He didn’t care about his studies, or about his future, or about anything else, for that matter. He was the worst kind of person. He was smart, but lazy, and it didn’t take long for his laziness to ruin his life. He was always getting into trouble, and eventually, his supervisor had enough, and took him out of his program. But instead of quitting, or getting another job, he decided to continue with his PhD, but as a private student. He wasn’t a student anymore, but he was still working on his thesis. And that’s when things got really bad.”
“What happened?”
“Well, as you can imagine, being a private student doesn’t pay much. He had no money, no job, no prospects, and no future. He was stuck. He was basically living on the streets, eating nothing but scraps and begging for money. And that’s when the idea hit him. He thought, ‘if I can’t find a job, then maybe I can do some freelance work. I’ll charge a lot of money, and people will have no choice but to pay me.’ So, he decided to start a business. He started selling his services online, and he was able to make a decent living, at least until he ran out of clients.”
“And then what happened?”
“Well, after running out of clients, he went back to his original idea, and started a consulting company. But this time, he decided to do things differently. Instead of offering his services to clients, he decided to offer his services to other companies. He would go around the country, meeting with companies and trying to convince them to hire him. It didn’t take him long to get his foot in the door, and within a few months, he was a successful consultant, earning a lot of money. And that’s how the project started.”
“What was the project?”
“The project was to develop a software product. He came up with the idea, and hired a team of developers to build it. The product was supposed to revolutionise the way companies do business, and it was a huge success. But the success was short-lived. The project failed. It was a disaster. The software was buggy, it was difficult to use, and it was plagued by security vulnerabilities. In the end, the company had to shut it down, and the guy was forced to leave. That was the last straw. He couldn’t get a job anywhere, and he couldn’t afford to live anymore. So, he decided to try and make a living by selling his services. He started doing some freelancing work, but it didn’t last long. He was never a good coder, and his work was full of bugs and errors. After a few months, he gave up. He had no choice. He was broke, and he was desperate. And that’s when he had the idea to start a new project. A project that would solve all of his problems. He knew that he wasn’t a good coder, but he thought that if he could get a team of developers to work for him, he could build something really special. Something that would change the world.”
“You have to be joking.”
“I’m not. The guy is a complete mess. But, he was so desperate, that he decided to give it a try. And he did. He got a team of developers to work for him, and he spent every single penny he had on this project. He worked day and night, for months, trying to get it done. And then, the project was complete. The product was ready. It was perfect. It was everything he had hoped for. It was going to solve all of his problems. He was going to be rich and famous. He was going to be the next Steve Jobs. But then, the company pulled the plug. They refused to release the product. They said it was too expensive, too complex, and not worth the effort. The guy was devastated. He was crushed. He couldn’t believe it. He had poured his heart and soul into this project, and it was rejected. It was a complete and utter failure. The guy had no choice. He had no money, no future, and no way to pay his bills. He was finished. He was ruined. He had nothing left. He was a total wreck. But then, he had another idea. He decided to start a new company, a company that would focus on developing biotechnology products. And that’s when he met the boss.”
“And this is where we are at now.”
“Yes, and it turned out to be really successful. The past few years were seeing a lot of profit, and that was when he decided to give his PhD project another shot.”
“And that’s what the documents are for?”
“That’s right.”
“What exactly is this project though? You keep mentioning it but I don’t know what it is exactly.”
“That’s the thing, no one besides the boss and him know about it.”
I became curious about this mysterious project that was taking place behind the scenes.
“Well, it is time to leave I guess.”
It was 5:12 PM; I hadn’t paid attention to the time. I started packing up to go home.
For the rest of the day, I couldn’t help but think about the mysterious project, what it was that made the head of the project so emotionally dead.
I must admit I had let my intrusive thoughts get to me, since the very next day, after everyone left the office, I asked E if I could go to the head’s room. She must have figured out my curiosity, because she too was once curious to take a look at the project. Unlike me, she decided not to follow through.
“Sure, go ahead. He’s probably still there.”
“Thanks.”
When I arrived at the head’s room, I noticed that the lights were off. I tried to turn them on, but the light switch was not working. So, I grabbed a flashlight from the emergency kit, and started to walk through the darkness.
“Hello, is anyone here?”
There was no response.
I walked around the room, and noticed that the windows were closed. There was no sound coming from the outside.
I decided to go further inside, and started looking for the head of the project.
The head was nowhere to be found.
After searching the entire room, I came across a stack of papers, with a small note attached to it.
The note read: “Dear head, please see me at your earliest convenience.”
I flipped through the papers, and realised that it was the printouts of the documents that I had delivered.
I decided to look through them, and found a bunch of graphs, diagrams, and tables, all of them looking very confidential.
However, there were no files attached, or any other information regarding the project.
It was as if the head of the project had taken them, and run off.
I noticed that the computer was open though; it was a really old, probably an IBM from the early days of home computing.
I let my curiosity get the best of me and went through the files.
Strangely, there was only a single directory in the entire hard drive. I wish I had never opened it.
Inside, there were videos so disturbing and graphic that I am to this day going to a therapist.
There were real, live people being experimented on in some of the most gruesome ways imaginable. I have a feeling that these people were high-profile criminals, but even I wouldn’t wish my worst enemies the things they went through.
One particular video is especially ingrained in my mind: a young man, who looked to be in late 20s, had a large tube injected through his jugular vein. Moments later, his entire body was expanding like a balloon, veins popping and eyes filling up with blood. I can still hear his blood curdling screams when I am alone. Not too long after, his entire body exploded, shooting pieces of his flesh, organs and bones on to the surrounding walls in the room.
I couldn’t watch anymore, I had left the office immediately and went straight back to home. I couldn’t sleep for an entire week, after which I decided to resign altogether.
I have since relocated to another job, went to therapy and mostly got back to my normal life. But even then, I will occasionally recall those really horrific images.