Hi reddit.
My name is Ekong. In this reality, I am female (I know Ekong is a male name; I was male once. I’ll explain later).
I realise I should say “in reality,” full stop. This past month, I have saved you all from near, absolute, fucking obliteration.
So I’ll take your thanks now, I guess.
You’ve probably felt confused recently, right? Things you’ve remembered… gone? Disappeared like they’ve never existed; facts, beliefs… even things as trivial as movies or brand names. Maybe even…
People.
Well I’m sorry. I did that. I had to, though, for you all to still be alive. Hate to say it — it isn’t the mandela effect. It’s a teensy no it isn’t bit worse.
You’ll forget all of it eventually. Everything; everyone. And the universe will be in balance again.
You mustn’t worry, as there is nothing to worry about anymore. I’ll tell you why.
I was a 3rd year Geography student. We went on a trip to some nowhere place in the Lake District. Some small village — I’m not sure if it even exists anymore. We were analysing rocks; classic stupid Geography shit.
We had to camp, in tents. I am used to be a gay man. So when Grace, a girl on my course started to get cosy to me, I obviously shut that down straight away. Told her straight up, and she seemed cool about it, until she started to creep closer to me the whole time we were (and I know, dull as fuck) picking up and analysing rocks and dirt, etc.
I slept in a tent with my best friend, XXXXX that night. We headed into the nearby town the night before, grabbed some drinks, and then went back to the tents. We were knackered. Next thing I knew, fucking Grace is in our tent, trying to undo my sleeping bag.
Before you guys get angry and try to find Grace, you won’t. She doesn’t exist and she never has. I’m using a pseudonym for whatever that parasitic thing was trying to get near me. I refuse to erase XXXXX’s name, even if the VOID won’t let me tell you guys of their existence.
I freaked, obviously. It was disgusting, at first, to see a girl try and (what I thought) assault me whilst she thought I was asleep.
But she wasn’t a she. Nor a girl. Whatever It was, unhinged its jaw, allowing for a large, 13 inch black tongue to unleash from its mouth, attempting to force it into my own. I screamed, and grabbed its throat.
It was no longer Grace. It was a writhing, putrid green, wormlike mass whose sharp teeth threatened to enclose over my head. So I did the only thing I could think to do. I grabbed my torch, and shoved it deep down that fucking demonic, vermin Shit’s throat.
It gargled, choked. If it had eyes, I’m sure it would’ve pleaded for forgiveness with them. But I was scared, and I shoved that torch further and further down until it stopped.
XXXXX looked at me in horror, and screamed. I screamed too, until I was sucked into the VOID.
Before people start assuming stuff about the VOID, let me make this clear. The VOID is the only reason we YOU have life. It is the only reason YOU have death; the end to suffering. It is on our side, no one else’s.
It was dark, extremely dark, and then there was light. I kind of understand why people might be religious, having seen that shit. The “light” was dim. Dim purple. An amalgamation of patterns I’ve never seen (and not fucking trip patterns, before any of you psychedelics lot start). It wasn’t something I thought the mind capable of seeing. I can’t even explain it. So, I she won’t bother.
From this deep, purple I’d say lilac light, I heard a voice. It wasn’t God, or higher entity. The voice was every voice ever heard; at least, it sounded like that. Like every voice who had ever uttered a sound spoke, human or not. Yet, despite the fact I only speak English, I could understand it. It started off with the longest list of numbers I’d ever heard, so I won’t repeat them, but followed with something along the lines of:
“— You have been chosen to end the war on continuity. There are parasites roaming around the 3 dimensions. We have reasoned with the parasites to find an egg in the Swedish mountains; if one of you, number (number I can’t remember) can find it in time, you can end the destruction of the universe. Now, reason amongst yourselves as to whom is the best qualified.”
A bright flash occurred, and we were in the same room.
It was me, a white, double amputee me, and a female me. Well, kind of spoilt it for you there. Oops.
We spoke, and none of us came to an agreement, so we decided we’d all just go back to our original lives and accept imminent death. I mean, our lives were pretty shitty in our other dimensions, so why bother? Just enjoy life as is, no? I didn’t care no one wanted to be responsible for the fact that one of the others died.
The VOID was not happy with that. So it sent us, back to our respective camps, and gave us a timer. A timer to tell us how long we had to destroy the parasitic egg.
So, I was transported back, like no time had happened. XXXXX wondered why I was awake; they were stressed at my sudden panting.
So I told them what happened, and XXXXX helped me out. Took me to the airport, helped me with my wheelchair checking in, and I splashed all my cash to take us to fucking Sweden.
Turns out, that was all bullshit because, once we’d actually landed in Sweden, the VOID had arranged for someone to hand us a ticket that, from touch, teleported us right to the location.
I wish I’d dressed better well of course you would’ve you fucking slag, because it was so cold. Freezing almost. There was this weird I thought it was cool, although ableist house, which stood on stilts. High stilts, about 35 feet off the snow-laden ground. A long, wooden ladder meant it was easy to know who could at least get to the top easily fuck you.
We could hear each other’s thoughts the whole time, like having three separate consciousness’ in your head. You felt, heard, smelt, etc. Everything the other’s felt. So, when wheelchair me succumbed to frostbite, it was painful. Both of us cried and cried and felt numb and pain and everything you could feel between grief, and nothingness. Don’t worry, I’m still here So we persevered. But male me was so weak Wow, you’re such a fucking hero, and so I was the only one who made it to the top. I smashed that egg, the parasites died, and voila. Universe saved. Oh, forgot to add, female consciousness took over now Yeah I’m sure they can tell.
Forgot to add as a side effect, the other “you’s” will be very loud now. If you don’t hear anything, then, I hate to break it to you, but like XXXXX, you were a universal accident only existing in this dimension.