I’m a foreigner so I apologize for my poor English.
I’m a college student (male) in my early 20s, studying under faculty of Business and Economics. My parents especially my dad, always expected more from me even though studying was not my plan for the future. I always knew they did their best in order to push me to my limits and become a successful person in the future since my dad gave his all for me and paid for my tuition fees which were really expensive for us to afford. I’m not saying that I’m ungrateful but sometimes it is hard to find someone to share your thoughts with, who would really care and understand you especially if you are a male and no one cares about your stupid thoughts.
Reading this text you can already predict that I’m an introvert and have always been one since my parents always fought with each other in my childhood. This situation has traumatized me since I was just a child watching my parents ignoring me and fighting and arguing with each other all the time. So this has led to me being an introvert who always feared his dad.
After getting accepted to one of the best ranking universities in the world, things got even worse. At first everything was fine and I was just chilling and studying for my lectures but things got escalated when I met a beautiful girl in my group. We started texting each other, walking in the streets of the college in the middle of the night, got my first hug from a girl I truly loved. Everything was beautiful and calming until I saw her dating other men where now I think is totally okay and fine since its her life and her responsibilities. I even made a gift for her birthday and shared it with her which made her really happy and noticeable by the way her eyes were shining. Later when I really got social and was spending some time for myself, she asked me to have a walk again in the midnight just to chat a little. I was so happy and exited expecting some small gift or something from her since it was my birthday. Now I realize that I was really dumb expecting something from her. She even told me that she doesn’t feel it with me and was feeling distant and cold towards me, which was completely a different approach that I expected from her for my birthday. Maybe I’m overthinking it but I guess these type of things happen to nearly all men out there, getting rejected and stuff like this. Since I’m an introvert and realized that I really love this girl, I had to let her go since it created jealousy inside me which is a lot to handle. It really hurt me because she was a truly good friend who was always near me and created some warming feelings down below my heart. I decided to let ger go and end our friendship by acting cold because it would be easier for both of us if she hated me.
later I started talking to girls and finding friends in order to escape from being a complete loser and become confident with myself. I got along with people especially when we shared the same nationality. A friend of mine had a girlfriend who was always jealous when I spent my time with her boyfriend. He was like a brother to me and we shared nearly everything with each other even if it was a private information which was one of the worst things I could have ever done and this led to even me being suicidal. His girlfriend was really a jealous person who once robbed my friends phone and got into the contacts and messages of us. She then took some screenshots of our text messages and later decided to photoshop the pictures with some disgusting and disturbing things that a normal male can not even handle. She later decided to share those disgusting pictures that she created in order to make me seem as a pervert in my college. Basically her aim was to embarrass me to my friends and my surroundings in order to get her boyfriend spend some time with her.
I got some disgusting messages from my friends saying that I’m a pervert and they would never talk to me again. I tried to explain myself but who cares?? Who really cares about a man and his thoughts?? especially a man who does not have a loyal friend to talk to. I was fed up of getting falsely accused and later just wanted to end it all. Until there was one girl who didn’t believe the words of some random girl who falsely accused me. She decided to text me and said to not pay attention since she also got into a same situation as me once before. I’m really grateful for her since she was the only one who cared about me and asked if I’m doing okay. She was the one who saved me from depression even though it wasn’t enough for me. The girl who decided to just falsely accuse me of being a pervert later started to again share some disgusting things about me a month later prom her fake Instagram accounts which led to nearly everyone to unfollow me from my Instagram page.
The unnecessary stares from people around me made it really awkward to study in the classrooms but I got used to it since the girl who supported me sat next to me knowing that I was getting falsely accused. Even later she started to distance herself from me which I completely understand…
I even wanted to report the girl who falsely accused me but later knew that this wouldn’t work since (please no offense for the female audience) females have much greater power when it comes to them lying in the court and falsely accusing of some disturbing and disgusting things about a male individual. I didn’t want to get myself into some unnecessary trouble since I already had enough drama in my life…
It was so heartbreaking seeing those awkward face expressions from your surroundings especially from a person whom you really loved before and had to separate your ways. I’m talking about the girl whom I firstly met and later had to let her go seeing her date other men in the dormitory we stayed.
I even had to change my university just to let everything go and now I’m in a better place in much better university, sitting alone in my room, walking alone in the streets and completely living a lonely life far far away from my national country, far away from my parents and their arguments and drama, far away from those toxic stares, far away from getting falsely accused each and everyday.
I started to make some money, become a better person for myself and although I’m missing people to interact with and talk to it seems to work better for me this way and I don’t regret my choices…
So people out there, either you are a male or a female and etc. please be careful when it comes to choosing your friends. because you never know what can happen, things can change instantly in your life without even noticing it yourself. Just make sure to talk to people or at least with your parents to get some support even if it is not enough for you.
I don’t really know if I’m overthinking it but I really didn’t expect losing everything I owned at once. Maybe I need some therapy and talk to someone about this situation but who cares? Who really cares especially when you are a grown ass men…?