That Thursday morning, I sat up in bed before the alarm went off. I knew it would be going off soon, because I’d been awake all night, incessantly checking the time. I couldn’t get a wink of rest with… them around. Those goddamned keys! I was really starting to feel like I was going insane.
Let me back up a bit: Fifteen days ago, I started finding keys. Big keys, small keys, custom keys, car keys, house keys, all kinds of keys. Every day, like fucking clockwork, I would leave a room at some point during the day, and find a key in a place that was easy to see.
Each key was an individual key, with no ring attached, and each time, I picked them up and asked everyone in the area if they’d lost a key.
All of them checked their keychains, and all of them confirmed that they were not missing a key, and that they’d never seen the key I was showing them.
I held on to the keys, though. I figured that at some point, someone I knew would mention a lost key, and I’d say “oh, shit, is this yours?” I was convinced the matter would solve itself.
By the time it got to day five, I was certain someone I knew was fucking with me, but everyone vehemently denied it. After some thought, I realized that nobody I knew had been at all five locations when the keys appeared, anyways. So, where were they coming from?
Trying to answer this question has driven me to the edge of my wits. I couldn’t believe nobody was pranking me, and I admit - I got angry… A couple of my friends aren’t speaking to me at the moment.
On day 13, I decided I couldn’t take it anymore. I didn’t need to know. I gathered up all the keys off of my dresser and put them in a grocery bag, and I threw them in the trash. Even better - the bins went out the very next morning. Even though it would always be a mystery, the problem was gone, and I breathed a huge sigh of relief.
I swallowed my pride and made some calls to the people I’d been cross with. Apologies accepted, but I could tell they were still hot about it. Nevertheless, I felt like I could fix that mistake with time, and the keys were gone.
The best part was that, now that my life wasn’t being consumed with this mystery, I could finally test out my new surround sound. I’m a movie buff, and I was really hoping it would be worth the irresponsible price I paid for it.
At around 10:30 that night, I cracked open a cold beer, sat down in a ratty old recliner I’d picked up at a flea market, and played some b-grade action movie that had caught my eye.
It wasn’t great, but it wasn’t terrible, and anything was better than thinking about those keys. It sounded great, too. As the plot progressed and things started getting interesting, I decided to jog to the kitchen and pop some microwave corn. I was just closing the door to the microwave when I heard the sound of glass shattering in the living room, and smiled. Great sound.
I started the microwave and went back into the living room. I was going to rewind a bit and pause so I could see whatever had made that noise, but I saw it before I could even reach the remote, and now, I was furious.
I had darkened the room to enhance this cheap-o viewing experience as much as I could, and at the moment, the still-playing movie was showing a night-scene, but in the low light, I could tell that some neighborhood kids had thrown something through my window.
I ran across to the now-open window, becoming more and more upset with each crunch of glass underfoot, but when I got there and stuck my head out, there was nobody to take my anger out on. Of course not! I’d been so impressed with my sound, I gave them time to get away! I shot the stereo a resentful glance and as I did, the movie switched to a day scene.
In the new light, I had a chance to survey the scene. There, in the middle of the floor in front of the stand the TV was on, lay the object they’d thrown. The keys. They were all on a large ring now, but there they were. All thirteen of them, including the black one and the custom, heart-shaped pink one.
I don’t know how long I stood there, dumbfounded and afraid. Now, I knew someone was messing with me… No, not even messing with me. This? This was something else. Some stalker shit, or some serial killer, I don’t know, okay?!
Someone was in every aspect of my life. I’d found keys at work and at home, and in my truck when I parked it and stood in line at a store. They were following me, trying to force me to take these keys. They never left a trace and now? Now I felt like they were actively threatening me… Breaking glass, throwing things at me - were they going to break in?!
Eventually, I made a decision. No matter what, I’m not fucking crazy, okay? I decided to call the police. I had the keys, now. Maybe I am crazy, or maybe I’m not, but they have to believe me if I have the keys, right?
I took a deep breath and shook my head. Took a closer look out the window, too. This time, I looked for cars and other vantage points that someone could watch me from. I saw nothing suspicious, but just the fact that I had to look for someone who might be following me sent me spiraling into fear. My mind was absolutely racing, now.
Was one of my neighbors doing this? The older guy two houses to the left always hated my car’s shitty muffler… But I couldn’t afford to get it fixed! Well, maybe if I didn’t buy the stereo… So, what? He’s just going to kill me because of it? I’ve seen enough TV, man! People have been killed for less.
No, no, no! Get a grip! Breathe… Look, I felt like I was being hunted, right then, and I ain’t ashamed to admit it - I cried, too. Cried a whole lot. I’ve never had someone follow me like this before. It’s fucking horrifying.
I was now slumped against the wall beneath the window, sitting in broken glass, light headed and out of tears to cry. I was staring off into space, wondering what I’d done to piss someone off enough to be stalked, when the movie ended.
Then, I started laughing. I don’t know why but when the credits rolled, I just felt completely and totally ridiculous. They were just keys! I was a grown man sitting on his ass in his own home, crying like a scared little kid because of a joke with some keys, and quite frankly, I felt like it was a successful prank. They wanted a reaction, and I put on a hell of a show. Fair play. It was funny, so I laughed, and I laughed, and I laughed some more. I laughed until it hurt, and I kept laughing until I was crying again. I don’t remember what happened next.
I woke up to the sound of a bird that had gotten in through the open window. Poor thing was flying all over the place, bouncing off of walls like a confused ping pong ball.
I gathered my wits and picked myself up off of the floor beneath the window, and when I did, the bird, which had just been panicking, suddenly landed in the middle of the room.
I thought I must’ve been asleep still, that this had to be a dream, because I swear to a god I don’t even believe in that this bird looked me right in the eye before it looked at the floor, opened it’s mouth, and vomited a small piece of paper onto the floor… right in the middle of the key ring.
I was so stunned and confused, I didn’t even flinch when the bird suddenly flew straight past me and out the open window.
“Okay.” I actually said that aloud, to nobody. The whole situation had changed, now. Before, I thought some crazy bastard was messing with me, but I really would need to be crazy to think they trained a wild bird to deliver a message to me in such a… disturbing way.
I was still pretty spooked by the whole ordeal, but now, I was more intrigued than anything. The bird I’d see didn’t have anything on it’s legs or it’s wings - no tags to indicate that it was a pet or part of a scientific study or something. If someone had trained a bird and broken a window just to mess with me… Well, I must admit that I was kind of impressed. I wondered what I did to bring this about and I won’t lie to you, it made me feel kind of important.
I spent an hour or two cleaning up the mess and arranging to have the window fixed (now I was really regretting overspending on the stereo), and then I sat down on the couch and for the first time, I looked at the note the bird had left me.
It was a very small slip of plastic-coated paper, maybe two inches long and half an inch high, like the kind in a fortune cookie but… sturdier. Probably to help it survive being inside the bird.
There was a single sentence written on one side of the slip, in a technical-looking font that resembled the kind you’d get from an old typewriter. “Go to 17 Cherrywood Drive.”
So, I pulled up Google and went through the motions. Street-view showed me a run-down looking red barn a few feet from a winding country road, with a small gravel pull-off area in front of it. I moved the screen up and down the road, and there was nothing else within a mile and a half of the barn, no matter which way I went.
I paced around in my room for hours, until the sun started to go down. I just couldn’t decide whether I should go or not.
On the one hand, it seemed like the best way to find out what was going on, and if anything went wrong, I’d have my phone and I could call for help, so, no harm in trying, right? Perfect timing, too, because Thursday was my day off.
On the other hand, this whole thing could’ve been arranged by some crazy person. What if they knew Thursday was my day off? How long had they been following me? If they tried to hurt me, I’d be miles from civilization. How fast can emergency services possibly arrive?
I crawled into bed and listened to the two sides of me battling it out for the rest of the night.
It was 4:47 that Thursday morning when I disabled the alarm I’d set for 5:00. When I looked at my phone to disable it, seeing something else made the amount of time I’d just spent staring at the same spot on the ceiling ring in my head like a church bell.
I put the phone in my pocket as I dragged my exhausted heap of a body out of my bed, and wandered out to the living room. I grabbed the keys, the ones I owned and the ones I found, and I got in my truck. It was time to end this nonsense. I didn’t care if it was dangerous, anymore. I was definitely going to end up in a padded cell if I didn’t get answers.
I drove to the gas station first, for caffeine. I got a small coffee and a can of whatever energy drink was on sale, and I chugged both of them and threw them in the trash before I got into my truck again. Well, I tried to chug both of them. What I really did was severely burn myself, spill hot coffee all over my shirt, and then chug the cold energy drink to stop the pain. In my bleary-eyed exhaustion, I’d completely forgotten about the heat.
Now thoroughly awake and quite irritated, I slammed the door to my truck, threw that forsaken address in my GPS, and drove there faster than I should’ve.
It wasn’t exactly a road trip, but the drive was still pretty long. I checked my phone after I stepped out onto the side of the road, and it was 7:15 in the morning. Around 3 hours from home. I swallowed hard as I pocketed the phone and looked up at the barn across the dusty old road.
I started to take a step, then hesitated. I pulled the phone back out, and double checked that it had a signal and a decent charge. Back in the pocket. Second hard swallow.
By now, my heart rate is amping up, and I’m starting to get really nervous again. I take a deep breath and shake my head. Pull the phone out again. Decided I need the flashlight once I was inside, and that I wanted to have it out and at the ready in case… In case what? I didn’t know, and I realized right then that it was even worse than knowing. At least if there was some psycho in there, I’d know it was human, and I’d have a chance. But… this? Having no idea what I’m walking into?
I was embarrassingly afraid, for a grown man. I thought about my dad, and how he’d charge right in with a light and a baseball bat, ready for whatever was on the other side. Fuck, I wished he was there! Yeah, that’s right. I wanted my daddy. That’s how afraid I was, right then.
I was shaken from my fear-based paralysis by a single passing car, and it made me realize that I was about to trespass on some stranger’s land. If I was going to do it at all, I needed to get it done before the cops got called on me, instead. This in mind, I steeled my nerves, turned on the phone’s flashlight, and stalked across the road.
The barn seemed ancient, up close. The roof sagged in the middle and in the light of the sunrise, I could see the large cracks between the boards that composed it’s walls. This thing was really falling apart.
Before attempting to make entry, I walked to the back and scanned my surroundings. I really didn’t want to go in there, and I hoped that whoever, or whatever, had sent me here was actually guiding me to something else… Maybe an old well or some sort of time capsule. I just wanted it to be anything but “inside the big scary barn, alone.”
No dice. The barn was surrounded by fields overgrown with grass and weeds. The whole area, barn and all, felt completely deserted.
So, that’s it, then. I had to go inside. I put my phone up to one of the large gaps in the crumbling walls and peeked inside with one eye. It was a single room barn, completely empty, except for one thing.
On the end opposite me, there was a large, round, stone archway, in the middle of a smooth concrete block that stretched floor to ceiling. It wasn’t a typical semi-circle, but rather, it was nearly a complete circle, with it’s edges coming in towards each other near the floor. In the middle, a pair of iron doors were covered in rust streaks and joined together by a large chain. That chain was secured with a fat, beefy black lock.
I jumped up in down in place like a kid in a candy store and shouted “The black key! It’s the black key!” I was overwhelmed with joy, because finally, something, no matter how small, actually made some sense to me! The idea that I might finally get some answers flooded my head and my body began to rumble with adrenaline, excitement, and fear.
I didn’t even look for an opening. It was time to get answers. Nothing was going to stop me now. I grabbed and I pulled, shoved and yanked, cut myself on rusty nails and did damage I was surely getting in trouble for, but I ripped a hole in that weathered old wall with my bare hands and forced my body inside, before I had time to re-think it.
Once inside, I moved fast. I didn’t even look at the inside of the barn. I didn’t care. I had to end this madness. I fumbled and fought with my shaky hands, but I was able to get out the key ring and grab the black key. I tried it in the lock, and when it opened, I almost couldn’t believe it. I really wasn’t going crazy. This was a real place, a real lock, and it really fit this god forsaken key.
I jittered away at the chain until I got it loose and pressed in on the doors, but they didn’t move. I looked around on the floor and found a piece of rusted metal that must’ve been part of the barn, and tried wedging it in the crack between the doors. I tried to use it like a lever, but the doors were heavy and I could only open them a tiny bit.
I’m not really sure where I got the strength, but I was able to jam my fingers into the crack and get my scrawny little arms to pry to doors open a bit more. Then, I was able to get a foot in, and my forearm, and little by little, I forced these monstrous doors apart. I was so focused on the task, I hadn’t even looked inside yet.
A couple minutes later, out of breath and covered in sweat, I stood up straight and pointed my light into the room I had just opened. My jaw dropped when I saw the hot-pink, circular room that lie before me. It only stretched about ten feet deep, and at the end, a pair of brown wooden doors that were in perfect condition were joined by another lock. This one was smaller, and it was painted pink like the room.
I stepped inside and took a closer look at the walls. They, too, were made of wooden panels, arranged horizontally at progressively steeper angles to create to look of a circular tunnel. The paint on them, like the doors, appeared to be brand new.
I looked back into the barn and considered my options for a bit. The same argument that had kept me up last night started again in my head, but this time, I couldn’t help but think about the sheer amount of effort that someone would’ve had to put into making all this.
How did they even do it?
Do they own the barn?
How did they even deliver the keys? I still couldn’t figure any of it out. No matter how this was done, it was completely insane, right? Only a psychopath would spend this kind of money to set someone up… I was starting to shake again, and my heart thundering in my ears was starting to join the sound of the chaos that was already going on in my head.
The next room was identical to the last one, but the wooden slats that composed the walls were painted in alternating colors - black, and a metallic silver. The doors were still wooden, but this time, the chain that joined them was secured with a massive, thick, modified padlock. The core had been removed and replaced with the keyway from a car’s ignition. The car key, then.
Again, I was struck by just how far someone must’ve gone to put this together. Where do you even find a lock fat enough to drill out it’s core and replace it with one from a car?
I opened it, but before I removed the chain, I thought of something even more bizarre. I turned around and looked back, doing the math in my head.
The tunnel I was now at least thirty feet into had started against the wall of the barn. It wasn’t descending, and I hadn’t seen any structure outside that could conceal a tunnel, so… How was this possible? The space I was standing in should’ve been an open field outside the barn. What in the hell was going on?!
I spun on my heels and started bawling my eyes out before I could finish yanking the chain off the doors. I flung them open and rushed inside in a full-on panic. I didn’t even look at the room, or the lock. I was completely hysterical, now. I struggled through the shakes and the darkness and the tears and threw key after key at it until it opened, and then I repeated the process on the next door. I’m not sure, but I think I started screaming, at some point.
Room after room, key after key…
Head spinning, stomach turning…
I was absolutely sick with dread, and somewhere in the madness, I collapsed to my knees and started retching. Once it was out, I fell over onto my side next to the mess and curled into the fetal position. I was confused and afraid and now, I was all but certain that I was losing my mind.
Minutes passed. Maybe hours. I don’t know, but at some point, I looked at the key ring on the floor next to me and realized that some of the keys were gone. I grabbed it and picked up my phone to use the light. Just as I thought: The keys I had already used were gone. There were only four left.
I pointed the light back down the tunnel, and it was swallowed by the darkness before it reached the pink room. On either side, I could see the shadows of the wooden doors, pushed into their hidden tracks at different depths in my panic. On the floor, every ten feet or so, there was a chain, but there were no locks.
I smacked myself in the head a few times to ground myself and wake myself up, and I collected myself from the floor I’d been sitting on. Four more rooms. I can do this…
The first three rooms were unremarkable, but the last one was mind-boggling. Unlike all the rest, this room was completely square, and the walls, floor, and ceiling were made of glass. I knew this for sure, because through this glass, on all sides including the floor, I saw the open sky.
I’ve admitted to quite a few embarrassing things throughout the course of this re-telling, so I’m not afraid to admit tot his one, too: I’m petrified of heights. I almost fell on my ass trying to get away from the edge.
I looked across to the last set of doors. Iron or steel like the first set, but this time, they looked to be brand-spanking new. Looking through the glass on either side, I didn’t see any structure for these doors to recede into when I opened them. I guessed that it really wasn’t that crazy since I was already sure I was in an impossible space.
Well… Now or never, yeah? This was the last set, and I couldn’t possibly become more afraid than I already was, so I figured I’d just force myself to do it… But I wasn’t stepping out on that thing until I knew how high it was.
If there is a god, he intervened right then and gave me the strength to look down… and I saw nothing. Just more open sky, like some kind of void from a video game. I was overcome with nausea again and I felt dizzy. I placed a hand against the wall to steady myself and drew a shaky, pathetic breath.
How can I be so high that the ground isn’t even visible? How could any person have built this?
Again, I was too overwhelmed and afraid to move, and time passed more slowly than a glacier as I stood there. I jumped when my phone played the shutdown chime. Out of battery. I swallowed hard, put it in my pocket, looked back down the long tunnel, and decided that this was it.
I didn’t give myself time to re-think the decision.
I rushed over to the last set of doors, shoved the only key left on the ring into the lock, and yanked off the chain. These doors were heavy and metal like the ones at the start, and I realized right then that I didn’t have that metal scrap I’d used to wedge open the first one. I thought about running back down the tunnel to grab it, but I figured I’d better try pushing them first, so I gave them a hard shove.
They swung open with ease, and I was greeted with a wall of blinding, golden light. It was so intense, I threw my arm up in defense of my own eyes and recoiled where I stood. I didn’t even get a chance to try to squint through it, because the light was burning so incredibly powerfully that it was actually hot.
I felt like my entire body had just been bathed in a slower, more horrifying version of my earlier coffee mishap, and I started to panic. It was hot from the onset, but as I stood there, the temperature just kept increasing second over second. It was heating up so fast that it actually became painful, so I turned away from it and started sprinting back down the tunnel.
As soon as I started running, I realized the light was following me down the tunnel, and I was absolutely sure that my shirt was going to burst into flames if I didn’t put some distance between myself and this golden mass of light.
I ran with everything I had, and every time I tripped or stumbled over one of those stupid chains in the middle of the floor, I hated myself just a little bit more. If I wasn’t so damn chicken, I wouldn’t have left them on the floor in a panic!
Never mind that, now. Run!
I saw the pink room’s walls for just a second before it was overwhelmed with the shining light on my heels, but it was all I needed to see. I was almost to the end now, and I really laid into it and started sprinting with everything I had.
I made it to the end, but as I emerged into the barn, something struck me in the face, hard.
I don’t know how long I was out, but the next thing I remember is the sound of his voice. It was far-off somewhere, almost underwater in the way it sounded, but I heard it. Everything was black.
Am I dead?!
I heard his voice again. This time, it was more clear.
“Can you hear me, man?”
Hm. Maybe I’m not dead.
Head hurts. Oh, fuck, that REALLY hurts!
I try to open my eyes for the first time. Everything is watery and blurry, and my head hurts so bad I can’t even try to process what I’m seeing. The mass of blurry colors means nothing to my throbbing, screaming brain. I gave up.
Too tired.
I allowed my head to slump over and instantly fell asleep again.
When I woke up the second time, I was lying down, and the first thing I saw was drop-tile ceiling, with a sign on it that said “Call don’t fall.”