It wasn’t late when I first came across it. I was soaring along the empty channels of the countryside. The wheels of my truck bounced, the heavy trailer moaned and groaned as I felt my eyes begin to drop. The podcast coming through my phone was dying, fading out to be switched with something new.
I yawned. Being a trucker wasn’t the job I had in mind as a child. I imagined something with more glamour, like a fireman or an astronaut. I never once thought I’d enjoy empty tours through the bleak backroads of the United States at any and all hours. Still, it put food on the table and a roof over my head. That’s worth a lot today so it was hard to complain.
As the audio died down, the screen of my phone faded to the same colour as the midnight sky. I took the time to look over at the GPS on my dashboard. Eleven miles to go. I was tired and already dreading the drive back. That’s when it came on. Thanks to the autoplay feature on my phone, I almost smashed my skull against the roof of my truck.
‘Hey again, little Tigers!’
A cheery voice, deafening in pitch and violent in volume, tore apart the small compartment of the vehicle. While the twat blabbed on, I threw my hand out and dragged the volume to a crawl.
‘Jesus.’ I lay my hand on my rapid heart. I hadn’t had a scare like that in years and forgot the awful feeling that came with it. Embarrassment. I guess it wasn’t too bad, seeing as I was all alone on an empty road in the middle of nowhere. Even so, I glared at my phone, blaming it for the rude awakening.
While my eyes were off the road and focused on my phone, I got a better look at the idiot who had scared me. A scrawny little fucker, covered in the obvious markings of an influencer. Bright dyed blonde hair, a smile of white teeth made to look a little too perfect, a designer hoodie with a logo my old ass had never heard of and a voice that only manages to keep the attention of children and pisses off everyone else. Me included.
I turned my attention back to the road. I would have switched off the video right then and there but I was already behind schedule and the volume was low enough for me to somewhat tune it out.
I made out a few key details. Something about a prank on his girlfriend and asking gullible children to ‘Like and Subscribe for eternal good luck!’. I hated that. I’m fairly old and I didn’t have the time, nor the patience, to keep up with the latest internet trends. The most exposure I got was listening to 80s and 90s rock music on YouTube.
The video slogged on in the background and I could feel my head starting to thump. I wasn’t listening to it much but I could tell the slimy bastard hadn’t even started the prank yet. He was busy mumbling on, with far too much passion, about new t-shirts and hoodies he was selling.
I was getting pissed off now. I’ve always hated that being an ‘internet celebrity’ is a valid profession. People sit in front of a camera, play games, talk about their life or God knows what else, and they get money for that shit? I’ve never found it fair.
I was getting ready to swerve off the road and free myself from the lunatic trapped on my screen when something caught my ear.
‘So guys,’ He said with a loud clap and a pearly smile, ‘today we’re pranking Jen, my girlfriend. We’re going to wait until she gets in the shower and dump freezing cold water over the shower curtain!’ He laughed like a child, swinging his head back and opening his mouth wide.
I narrowed my eyes and scrunched up my face. Wasn’t that a bit cruel? I thought, not sure if I was hearing him correctly. ‘This is the example set for kids nowadays, huh?’ I asked no one and shook my head slowly.
I could make out the sounds of a shower starting, a soft giggle between a few friends and finally, after a few minutes of dreadful suspense, the ear-splitting scream of a young woman.
I winced. I felt bad for the poor girl forced to deal with this joker’s antics. If I tried a stunt like that on my wife, she’d rightfully leave my ass for someone who’s not a complete chocolate teapot.
She screamed for a bit, followed by a symphony of childish laughs and obsolete phrases like; ‘It’s a prank!’ and, ‘We got you!’. The girl panted, shaky breaths in quick succession. I had had the sneaking suspicion that the video was fake but now, that reaction made me think otherwise. That sort of thing, the genuine shock and loss for words, it’s hard to make it feel authentic.
Any thought of this being staged was ripped away when I heard the next section. The girl managed to calm down a bit, but I could hear the tears welling up in her voice.
‘What the fuck! What’s your problem you fucking psycho!’ She stammered, struggling to put her fear, confusion and frustration into words. ‘Why the hell do you keep doing stuff like this to me? I’ve told you countless times that I don’t want to be a part of your childish fucking videos.’
The laughing stops. The man (Who I assume is the owner of the channel and the partner of this woman) sniggers and speaks like nothing is wrong. ‘Relax babe, it’s not like we killed anyone. It’s just a prank.’
‘I’m sick of your fucking pranks, Ally, I am. Stop this bullshit and just be a normal human being.’
Wet feet hit off the tile. Even without seeing the video, I can tell that this lady has just rightfully stormed out of the room.
‘Well,’ Ally’s voice grows louder as he addresses his viewers. ‘Looks like she’s being a sore loser! We sure got her though.’ He laughs and claps his hands.
After a little more chatting to the camera, talking more about his blasted t-shirts and hoodies, he ends the video and mentions nothing about apologising to his partner.
A few of the words were censored with an ugly high-pitched beeping noise. I’ve given you my best guess at what those hidden words are. You’re welcome.
It fades out and the cabin of my truck grows silent once more. I pull over after that. Grabbing my phone from the stand and turning it off. Normally I would have kept it on autoplay, letting whatever video fill my interest. Not today, though. That little bastard Ally had left a sickening feeling in my stomach. I like to believe that our future holds some form of hope but soggy shitbags like Ally make me rethink that.
…
I didn’t wonder much about him after that. Not until the following Saturday that I finally got a few days off work. It crossed me again while I was listening to some classic Metallica on YouTube and in my recommended, below the video, was a title that had the eyesore word ‘PRANK’ in all caps. I squinted when I saw it. I looked at the thumbnail and recognised the twat sitting there with a shit-eating grin. None other than Ally. I looked at the channel name next. ‘TigerPRANKS’ it read. That left a sour taste in my mouth. It felt like I had sipped a coffee with no milk.
I would’ve just ignored it, scrolled past and moved on with my day. That was until my eyes glossed over the title of the video and I had to do a triple take.
‘PRANKING my MOM by faking my death │GONE WRONG! │SHE CAME TO MY HOUSE!’
I almost swallowed my tongue when I read that. It had to be staged, I thought. No one in their right mind would do something so disgusting. Your mother who gave life to you. It ruined me to the point I felt my stomach begin to reject my dinner.
Even worse than that, the video was performing well. 2.7 million views, uploaded only a day ago. I cringed and just had to click it. I had to put my racing mind at ease. I had to know that this was fake.
The video started but I didn’t care. I pressed my finger down hard on the red line at the bottom and threw it along until around ten minutes in where I saw Ally, dead centre, with a grin on his face and a phone in his hand. I stopped there, listening intently.
Ally sat with his phone in his hand. It was ringing and the caller said ‘MOM’ in all caps. She picked up after a few seconds and her voice came through like a woolen fleece.
‘Hello dear, is everything okay?’ She chirped. She didn’t sound like an actor but rather a mother engrossed in the wellbeing of her child.
Ally’s face shifted. His voice dropped monotone and he forced himself to sound bleak and full of holes. ‘Mom, I… have something to tell you.’
‘Yes, darling. Anything.’
‘I…’ He hesitates. Not because he feels bad, only because he wants this to seem more real. ‘I want to thank you for everything. You’ve been the best mom and this isn’t your fault.’
Static on the other end. Stunned silence. ‘Ally?’ Worry spreads through her voice like a plague. ‘Ally what are going to-‘
He taps the big red button and hangs up the call. Just in time for him to burst into a fit of maniacal laughter. ‘Oh my God, guys. Did you hear her? She believes me. ‘
The scene cuts abruptly to black. It shows a screenshot of a text conversation between Ally and his mother. Plastered at the bottom was a big emoji. The laughing one with tears on the sides of its eyes.
Mom: ‘Ally. Please pick up the phone.’ Sent at 14:23
Mom: ‘Im worried what did you mean?’ Sent at 14:25
Mom: ‘Ally if you dont pick up im claling the poliec.’ Sent at 14:30
Her spelling is all over the place. She’s missing words and lacking punctuation. My fists are in tight balls by now. My heart was breaking for this poor woman.
The video cuts again to Ally laughing in his living room. It’s pristine, royally decorated and furnished with a very modern look.
I was holding my phone tight enough to break it. This sick little snake was harassing his partner and family only to profit from it.
Ally hid the camera behind the curtain of his window, positioning it in such a way that you could see his driveway and front garden. He chuckled when a woman, mid-fifties, came shakily running into view and through the garden.
She was hysterical. Her cheeks were dyed red by a mix of the cold wind and thick tears. Despite a thin layer of rain coming down outside, she didn’t have a coat on. She almost fell over herself many times on her way to the door. When she finally arrived, she banged and hit the door like a wild animal. She screamed and screamed Ally’s name over and over again. Her voice broke and cracked every so often. The hope draining away. She began to pull the door handle, still calling out for the son she thinks she has lost.
Ally laughed. Hiding behind his obscured pane of glass, watching his own flesh and blood drown in hysteria. He laughed. Laughed like a child on Christmas morning. Laughed like the fucking Joker. This wasn’t fake at all. This was real and Ally was loving it.
I couldn’t bear to go on. I turned the video off and sat in stunned silence for longer than I would like to admit. That woman’s screams were playing in my mind on repeat. The shrill sound tore apart my brain and made me fight the will to puke.
I wanted so badly to click on his channel and see what other grotesque gags he had uploaded. I wanted to run through the comments, seeing all the sane people cuss this piece of shit out. So, that’s exactly what I did. I muted the volume and re-opened the video. I didn’t look. I couldn’t. I scrolled instantly down to the comment section. Hiding away from the disease lurking above.
I can’t describe what I felt next. Frustration would be an understatement but that’s about the only nameable affliction I had. Other than a rising rage, I only felt like I was going crazy.
Comments plastered my screen. Comments of support and encouragement.
‘LOL! I can’t believe she fell for that. This was really funny. Keep up the good work!’ Posted by AniAlen1224
‘You should do another one but on your dad.’ Posted by Ttrsemox
All of them were highly rated. Blessed with likes and replies in the hundreds. I thought I would faint until I came across a comment, at the bottom of this awful cesspit. A comment from someone like me.
‘This is not funny at all. I don’t think we should be encouraging this kind of humour.’ Posted by Twixkat12
That comment, despite being the most sensible by miles, was branded with replies of hate, cussing out the user, supporting Ally and even genuine threats.
I shut off my YouTube after that. I couldn’t bare to keep giving this sick little man my attention. I had to go to bed and get my thoughts in order. I did one thing first, though. Before shutting off my phone, I dropped a subscription to Ally. Not because I enjoyed his content, oh no, I did it so I could keep tabs on this slimy greaseball. I did it so I could report any new videos he uploads as soon as they go public. I was bringing this fucker down.
…
I only poked at my dinner that night. My wife, being the saint that she is, rubbed my shoulders and tried to get me to talk.
I loved her dearly, I did, and I wanted to tell her. The thing is, she’s a sensitive woman. Dragging her into a topic like that would only bring her confusion and upset. So, I kept quiet. I kissed her cheek and told her that everything was okay.
…
It was a week later when my phone demanded I return to that awful place on the darkest side of the internet. I was in the garden at the time, ripping weeds from the wall around our home. Sure, the work is hard and my age doesn’t make it any easier but I make it a point to stay in shape. I don’t get much exercise being a trucker so I have to make my own. Weeding was a good choice for me. Getting rid of the ugly useless things that intrude on my space by any means always brought me a sense of joy.
I came into the kitchen through the sliding doors. I wiped my head with a tea towel and checked the time on my phone. There it was. A new upload by TigerPRANKS.
I grew still. The sweat around my ears and lower back vanished. It was like I had been hit with a freeze ray of massive proportions. The tile wrapped me in a violence I didn’t know I could feel.
‘KIDNAPPING my BEST FRIEND PRANK │GONE WRONG! │HE PASSED OUT!’
This one was different. The quality was worse. The camerawork no longer looked professional, nor did the editing. It looked crude, rushed and gross.
Ally himself wasn’t much better. He still wore designer clothes, because why wouldn’t he flex his wealth to a bunch of children? Other than that, though, he looked dirty. Not dirty as in on the inside but I mean he looked like a real mess. Pools of sweat were under his arms, his hair wasn’t combed and he had this oddly searing grin.
‘Hey again, my little Tigers!’ He droned on, his voice was almost mechanical. Forced to a pitch meant to sound friendly. ‘Today we’re going to be pranking my best friend Ryan by faking a kidnapping on him when he’s walking home from work. Before that though, don’t forget to buy my new T-shirts and hoodies. On sale-‘
I skipped ahead. I couldn’t bear to listen to his voice any longer than necessary. I only stopped the video when the scene changed. The camera now displayed a lonely street. No cars. No people. No life. Only a dingy streetlight cast an eerie stage in the middle of the road.
Whoever was holding the camera was not doing a very good job. The scene was shifting constantly and shrill little laughs were drilling into my skull.
Then, he arrived. A normal-looking man, dressed in your average suit. An office worker is what I assumed. He had earphones dug into his ears, tuning out the rest of the world.
So, this was Ryan. I couldn’t help but feel my heart pick up a bit. I’m not an easy guy to scare by any means. I’ve lived a long life, been in many fights and fucked up more people than I can count. Even so, this image disturbed me. This lonely man lost in a sea of grainy footage made me shiver all over.
He didn’t hear it when two burly men in all black came sneaking up behind him. They pulled away from the shadows and came charging like bulls at this poor guy. They tackled him to the ground, shoving a tight black bag over his head.
The camera was around ten meters away. I could see Ryan struggle against these two giants. I could see him scream, bite, scratch, kick and spit. It wasn’t going to work. These men were twice his size and already had him pinned.
Easily he was restrained with thick rope, the kind you’d see on a fishing vessel, and dragged off-screen into the enveloping darkness of the scene.
I swallowed and stared intensely. These weren’t pranks anymore. This had gone beyond sick jokes. This was now a full-on crime.
The scene bleeped out. No cute transition like in his earlier videos and no soft jungle in the background. Just an eerily instant switch.
Ally was there now. His pale face was pushed up to the camera lens. His eyes were wide and acted like deep pools. I could see his breath fogging up the screen, his hair sticking in clumps to his forehead, his pearly teeth on display like a predator and his lips pulled tightly across his slender face.
He whispered, low enough not to be heard but loud enough to still sound cheery. ‘Guys. Ryan is in the next room. He has no idea this is all just a prank.’ He stifles a laugh. ‘He’s so scared right now. On the way here he was begging for his life.’ He edges back, putting a hand to his ear and gesturing for his viewers to listen.
Ever so faintly, like white noise, is the soft whimpers of a grown man. A grown man brought to his knees by the cruel injustice of entertainment.
Ally grins. His eyes are wild. Like a madman in an asylum. Except, he’s not the prisoner. ‘Let’s go in there now.’
Ally picks up the camera and shuffles over to a large metal door.
This isn’t his house. The walls are a damp stone. The door is rusted and old. The audio is echoey and distorted. Wherever the fuck he is, it’s miles from any kind of civilisation.
He slinks through the rusted door, slotting the camera in with him. There, in the centre of the room, put on display like a trophy, is Ryan. He’s tied to a metal chair under a single dull bulb. The bag is still fastened around his neck. Where his eyes and mouth are, the bag is wet with tears and saliva. He’s muttering something about wanting to live. It’s hard to make out through his desperation.
Ally puts the camera down, setting the scene so both he and Ryan can be in the frame.
He cups his hands around his mouth, dragging his voice to the limit of what should be possible. It’s deep, dark and full of intent. It doesn’t sound like Ally anymore. There’s no childish cheer or annoying persistence. Just a dark voice put on for the sake of content.
‘Ryan Sordan. That’s you?’
Silence. Ryan shuts his mouth and looks around wildly. He whimpers a bit. ‘I didn’t do anything. Please just let me go.’
‘Your name is Ryan Sordan?’
He stops, trying to calm his rioting nerves. ‘Yes, but I swear I didn’t do anything.’
‘We know. You’re here because I want you to be here. I need you for my entertainment.’
Ryan cries, his head hangs low and the life seems to leak from his body. ‘Please God no. Don’t do this.’
‘Don’t do what?’
‘I don’t know just please stop this.’
‘We’re going to kill you, Ryan.’
He wails, throwing his head back and pleading with a primal voice that only exists on the edge of life itself. ‘NO! Please fucking don’t. I haven’t done anything!’
Ally pulls his hands away from his mouth. He rubs his hands together while keeping that burning grin. He walks slowly over to his captive, teasing him with the sound of his footsteps.
Then, as if all would be washed away, Ally pulls the bag from Ryan’s head and begins to cackle like a witch. ‘Oh my God, Ryan! You should have heard yourself!’ He can barely stop laughing. He’s held captive by his humour.
Ryan looks terrible. His eyes are stained red from tears, his cheeks are flushed and his pupils are dilated. He wanders the room with his free eyes. He doesn’t have a nameable expression. He just looks out of it. When those sunken eyes finally land on Ally, his face changes to confusion, anger and then fear.
‘Ally?’ He whispers.
‘You’re on camera by the way.’ He points to the lens and waves.
‘Camera?’ He doesn’t sound all there. Still plagued by lethargy.
‘It’s a prank! You’re going on YouTube!’
‘I don’t…’ Ryan looks down at himself, not understanding the bindings around his waist, ankles and wrists. ‘What about this? Where’s the guy who was going to kill me?’
‘Silly, that was me! The prank was kidnapping you.’ He pats his friend on the shoulder.
‘No, that’s… Who grabbed me off the street?’
‘Just some guys I hired for this. They were quite good, don’t you think?’
‘Good?’ The situation is setting in with him now. The anger is beginning to bubble. ‘They hit my head off the floor! I could have got a concussion!’
‘I know, I liked that bit. It must have scared you pretty good, huh?’
‘Ally, untie me right now you bastard. I’ll fucking show you what a prank is.’ He wriggles against the ropes, biting and spitting at Ally.
Ally huffs, not amused by the reaction any more. He turns away, ignoring the curses and insults thrown at him. He draws up to the camera, standing tall above the lens. ‘Well, it looks like Ryan is being a bit of a sore loser.’
I turned the video off. I didn’t want to see or even know what would happen next. That pale little rodent disgusted me and I would do anything to be there to beat the seven shades of shit out of him.
I put my phone down on the counter and struggled to pour myself a glass of water. The cup was shaking in my hands. I couldn’t keep still and don’t think you’d blame me for being a little on edge. I couldn’t keep doing this. There is no way I could allow myself to stand by and keep letting this happen. I had to make a choice. Either unsubscribe from TigerPRANKS and just forget about it or do something to stop the videos altogether.
It wasn’t a hard choice. I was going to tear this motherfucker down.
I started by reporting every single video on the bastard’s channel. It took me a few hours. I wrote out a detailed reason as to why they should be removed but, after a week of dreadful anticipation, nothing happened.
I was pissed off and next called the cops. You’d think they’d do something when they have video evidence of kidnapping on camera but no. They, apparently, couldn’t open an investigation into a video that could be staged.
It was getting under my skin more than it should have. It felt like TigerPRANKS had some kind of immunity to consequences.
I couldn’t do anything else. I needed to step back and collect my thoughts.
…
I was back at work and again enjoying a lonely trip through the wastelands of American soil when it happened. A buzz came through my phone, startling me and almost making me lose control of my vehicle. TigerPRANKS had uploaded.
I didn’t care if the delivery would be late. I pulled over to the side of the road and opened the video. It had been a few weeks since the last upload and I was just starting to gain hope that Ally had crawled into a dark pit and died there.
How wrong I was. He wasn’t gone. Far from it. The bastard was making his latest and sickest prank yet.
‘DRUGGING a PROSTITUTE PRANK│GONE WRONG!│SHE ATTACKED ME!’
I steeled myself as the video opened. If you thought Ally looked bad before, you’d be sitting at the pinnacle of naivety. He was a total wreck now.
The dye in his hair had faded to an inky olive, the bags under his eyes were like purple bruises, his cheeks were torn in a disfigured-looking smile and his skin was pale and covered in oil.
‘Heyyyy again, little Tigers.’ His voice is broken. He sounds like he hasn’t slept in days. Looks like it too.
It isn’t only Ally who’s dived into the deep end. The production is worse now too. The footage is grainy, smeared and low quality. The audio is fractured and abused.
‘We have a good prank for you today. Today we scared a hooker by drugging her and pretending we were gonna kill her.’ He half-laughed.
Even Ally didn’t look enthused by this anymore. He looked like a total car crash. A slave to his view count. A slave to the support from strangers over the internet. He had nothing to gain. Only meaningless likes and subscriptions.
This was the first time I didn’t skip ahead. I sat and listened to his ramblings.
‘We, uh, don’t have much time.’ He itches his mop of hair. ‘We need to find one at night on the streets. We can do that.’ He looks down at himself, dragging out his words. ‘I’m not at home right now. I’m staying at the Husker Inn in Nebraska. Jen is being a sore loser so I can’t stay at home right now. I’ll upload more pranks from here but… yeah, that’s where I’ve been.’
I rubbed my eyes when I heard that. Had this stupid fucker just told me his exact location? I could be in Nebraska in a day and a half if I tried hard enough. I couldn’t help but grin. Fate had finally blessed my hand. I could finally put an end to this sick game. Before that, though, I needed to see this video. I needed to see where this was going.
The shot had changed. The camera didn’t show anything. Just the back of a car seat. I could hear Ally in the front, talking to someone with a much softer voice.
‘Hey.’ Ally chirps. ‘Are you looking for… you know?’
‘Uh, yeah. I wouldn’t be out on a street corner at 2 am dressed like a slag if I wasn’t.’
‘Yeah, good point.’ He stops for a moment. ‘So, you gonna get in?’
‘Hold it. You have a nice car. How much are you offering?’
‘Uhm,’ Ally sounds hesitant. ‘I can do five hundred if you want?’
The woman sighs. ‘Sure. It’ll have to do.’
‘You don’t sound happy. I can do more?’
The car door clicks open and the sound of a person adjusting to a new area is heard.
‘Nah, five hundred is fine. It’s more than my usual rates anyway.’
‘Okay, great!’ He sounds chipper. Excitement is building in his voice.
The camera cuts out. Abruptly, we’re back in Ally’s hotel room. The camera is on the nightstand next to the bed. A little to the left is two people, Ally and the hooker, sitting on a mess of blankets and sheets.
‘Want a drink?’ Ally urges, standing up and going to the next room.
‘No, I’m okay.’
Ally is out of shot. The tap runs briefly and he stumbles back in with two glasses of water. ‘I think you should have a drink.’
The lady looks uncomfortable. Even through the grainy footage, I can tell she is tense.
‘Uhm, is it necessary for what you want to do?’
Ally pauses, thinking with a dumb look on his face. ‘Yeah.’ He finally says and hands her one of the two cups.
She waits for him to sit and drink first. Only when he swigs down half of his glass, she gingerly takes a sip of hers.
‘So, what is it you want to do exactly?’
‘Just… talk.’
‘Okay.’ She takes another drink. A longer one this time. ‘What do you want to talk about?’
‘I don’t know. Stuff.’
‘Okay…’ She shifts away from him and gets to her feet. ‘Look, I need to go.’
‘You can’t.’ Ally grins evilly.
‘What?’
‘It’s drugged.’ He follows after her, gripping her shoulders and laughing in her face. ‘You’re drugged and soon you’ll pass out.’
She struggles away. Well, she tries too. Already her movements are sluggish and alien. ‘What the hell is wrong with you?’
He doesn’t seem to hear. Or maybe he does and he just doesn’t care. ‘When you pass out, I’m gonna kill you.’ He trips over his words. He looks wild and drowsy at the same time.
‘Let me…’ She struggles for breath. ‘go…’
I shook my head and turned off my phone. I caught a glimpse of my reflection and could tell that I’d never felt this kind of fury before in my life. I rolled my shoulders and reached into the glove box. I grinned when my aged hands greeted an old friend. A tool I kept encases of emergency. An emergency just like this one. A shiny pistol, ready for use. I tucked it into my belt and put the truck in drive. Not before setting a route to Nebraska, the Husker Inn.
I sped along the empty roads, my only company being the racing of my heart and the sweat on my brow. I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel alive.
The sky was a dark blue when I finally pulled into the side of the road by the Husker Inn. My gun rubbed against my hip, begging to be used once more.
And now, we’re all caught up. Here I sit, looking at the Inn. The only light is on the second floor, three rooms to the left. That’s him. That’s Ally. My gun is in my lap and my hands are shaking as I write this. I know I’m doing the right thing. After all,
It’s just a prank, right?