Hi reddit! I just thought I should update you all on what has happened since I last messaged you all. Its really hard to message though. We’ll get to that.
So, at first I was afraid I was petrified thinking how…
I was afraid of having this STI, or this demon… or whatever. After I signed off last night, I went straight to bed. I had an okay sleep, not too terrible. You know, all things considered. Not too many nightmares even. For a maturing bird-woman, I thought that that is pretty good. If anything, I was feeling optimistic? Might be a demon or an STI but either way… something fixable by a doctor. Or maybe not, maybe I would just be able to live as a flying woman. Sounds like a superhero, if you really think about it. Flying Woman: The First Superhero! Not too bad.
But then I woke up.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag? Drifting Do you ever wake up and not know where you are? Like genuinely look around and not understand what happened? How you got to where you were? This morning I woke up in this room. But it wasn’t like it was back in 1992. Michelle wasn’t there. Neither were any of the other characters. All that was there was a lot of blood stains the blue walls and this
ITS ALRIGHT SLEEP TIGHT I WILL TAKE THE STRAIN
This thing. This crooked smiled thing, deep down the hall watching me grinning with those crooked smiles and I’m bringing sexy back them other BOYS don’t know how to act. Its okay its okay its okay its okay its okay its okay run run run run run run run run rurnrurnrurnrurnrunrurnrunru
I think I’m away from it now. My working theory is that it is a traveller, of sorts. It moves between different realities, but to do so it needs energy. A LOT of energy. And it gets this energy by feeding in one reality— by creating a soldier, a hunter— and then it moves on. And I think for some reason I’m… stuck… to it? And it’s ch ch ch ch changing me. And as it moves to the next reality and it runs out of the food I accumulated for it, I think it will start dining on me.
And before you ask: yes, that means there have been further changes.
Let’s start with the easy to grasp ones. First off, I am trapped in a sitcom from the nineties. ONE I DON’T EVEN LIKE! But it’s almost like the sitcom after the lights have gone out. Or (even more accurately but more abstract) a sitcom half remembered while drunk at a bar in a country where the sitcom never aired, and trying to explain it to someone who never spoke English? It’s so… empty. And void. And I could walk for miles but it gets twisted and gnarled. And that thing… its always only a few steps behind me. But it never gets close enough to touch. I see it now. It’s standing in DJ’s bedroom. Just smiling. Formless almost, except for the crooked grin. And… oh god. It is coming down UNDER WHERE WOMEN GLOW AND MEN PLUNDER PLUNDER PLUNDER MEN WOMEN GLOW MEN
YOU HAD BETTER RUN AND TAKE COVER YOU BITCH
Barbara
Barbaraaaa
BARABRARABABARA
THEYRE COMING TO GET YOU BARBARA
the other thing as you may have noticed is why it is hard to message my thoughts i hope are reaching you through the cable lines and antennas that protrude from my tv screen that was my face that is my face but all this information comes in and out in and out all the time and it means sometimes things get jumbled up who am i who am i I’m jean valjean and
Its coming again. I’m scared, I can feel it moving out of DJ’s bedroom. The thing slowly walks along the floor and pretty soon it is going to be here. I can feel the muscles that used to be my legs tighten around the cables that used to be my bones as I try to move my body towards the window and
Blam
I’m outside now, on the lawn. I’m still not human OR ARE WE DANCER but I can at least slither my way to a place where I can hide just a little bit longer. Find a nice rock to hide under. Just stay here and wait until I wake up from whatever fever dream I’m in. And never ever watch any of the Olson twins’ shit again. And I’ll go downstairs. And mom will be there. And she’ll have baked a fresh apple pie. I always liked apple pie, did I ever mention that? And Dan will come downstairs with those stupid little soccer shorts on. And I’ll tease him a bit that he should make sure he doesn’t lift his legs up too high or all the girls in his class will get a show. And dad will sit there and pretend not to laugh as he reads the paper. And everything will be great, just as it should be and you know that it should and you know that you feel it too cause its nine in the afternoon
Your eyes are the size of the moon moon moon moon moon MOON MOON MOON MOON m
o
Heeeeeeres Johnny you little fuck I thought I would find you here you thought YOU COUL Dfucking Run A wayfromme I’m here come back where doyouthinkyouregoing its time for dinner darling om nomnomnomnom time for me to EAT you didn’t make me enough food SO I THINK ITS TIME FOR US TO HAVE A TOAST I think its time for me to chow down on you darling do you have salt and pepper darling mind passing me the ketchup
I need to wake up
I need to wake up
I need to wake up
I need to get better
I need to get better
I need to getbetter
I need togetbetter
I needtogetbetter
ineedtogetbetter
please let me get bette