Have any of you guys ever heard of Little Jane Snack Cakes?! Something really friggen weird is going on in my town so I’m making this post to let you know… DO NOT TRY LITTLE JANE BRAND SNACK CAKES! I live in a small town in Northern Canada and in the last week things have gone insane.
I pulled into the local supermarket when I noticed a giant pastel yellow trailer with cursive on the side. It said “Little Jane” which I have never heard of so I thought it was a little interesting. When I walked in I saw a giant display of yellow boxes front and center. There were a bunch of people looking at it curious so I walked over.
The manager was telling everyone about how great the new product was. I saw some of my neighbors grab a few boxes, so I thought I would check them out too. I can’t really describe it, but there was something about the packaging that really drew me in.
The art on the box was of an old fashioned family from at least a hundred years ago. They were all smiling and looked like they were having the time of their lives. The little girl in the photo, who I assumed was the namesake ‘Little Jane’ was carrying a tray of cakes to them.
I know it’s super super corny but when I saw it all I could help but think was ‘I want to be a part of that family too’. I cringed at my own gullibility, but, after I finished my shopping I went back and grabbed two more packs.
On the way home literally all I could think about was trying one of the cakes. At the time I didn’t notice how weird it was.. but I see now that whatever has happened here isn’t organic. I tuned on the radio, surprised to hear the hosts talking about the new snack as well, apparently they were delicious.
When I pulled into my driveway I saw my neighbor Chet out front. Now normally the guy is an annoying jerk wad but that day he waved at me with a huge grin on his face. I gave him a little finger wave wondering why he was so chipper but then I noticed he had a half eaten snack cake in his hand.
As soon as I got out of the car, with mouth full he goes “You try these yet?”. Crumbs all over his face and shirt, it was disgusting. To be honest, I probably have him to thank for still being alive, because when I got in, instead of ripping a pack open I just tossed them in the pantry.
I made myself supper and turned on the TV. I cranked up the volume to hear the news because the idiots across the street were fighting louder then I had ever heard. Apparently there had been a pretty serious fire downtown. Just when they were getting into what happened I heard someone banging on my front door.
I was greeted by my old high school buddy Dale. He looked like a wreck; his clothes were dirty and ripped in multiple places. Now, I hadn’t spoken to Dale in close to five years. I was stunned, I mean I was happy to see him, but it was so random. We did a little hug pat and I looked him over a wondering what he was there for.
I kid you not, the first thing out of his mouth was “You got any of those new snack cakes?”. I was baffled, like I said I hadn’t seen this guy in like half a decade and all he wants is to ask me for some junk food? At this point I was over it and pissed off, so I walked to the pantry, grabbed the boxes, and basically shoved them into Dale’s arms.
I was like “You want the cakes? Here, take the cakes. Nice to see you to.” and I shut the door on him. I was starting to feel a little uneasy. I watched as Dale ran to his car clutching the boxes in his arms and peel off. Suddenly I heard a scream and the neighbors who had been fighting went dead silent. I thought I should call the cops but before I could I saw another breaking news alert on the TV.
Apparently there had been a shootout at the grocery store; someone had taken hostages. They were trying to negotiate but apparently the only thing the criminals were asking for were… Little Jane Cakes. My jaw hit the floor. Taking hostages for snack cakes? What was happening here?
The phone rang; it was my Grandad. The first thing he asked was if I was alright. I told him of course and asked why. He told me that him and grandma had just been attacked and he had shot someone. He wasn’t sure if they were still alive because they had crawled off. He told me he had tried the police but there was no answer. I said to hold tight, I would be there in ten minutes.
As I was driving over I couldn’t help but notice the amount of aggressive people out. A guy shouted at me from the sidewalk as I passed. A block later I saw two groups in a street brawl. There was something in the air… everyone I saw was on edge.
Unfortunately by the time I got to my grandparent’s it was too late. Their house had been ransacked and they were nowhere to be seen. I called out and looked for them but it was starting to get dark and with everything that had happened that night I decided I would have to leave it to the Sheriff. Of course I was worried but there was nothing I could do.
Just like Grandpa had said there was no answer at the station. I was completely wiped and the events of the day had ruined me. I broke down in my grandparents living room. It was just so strange that they would disappear like this, plus the whole town seemed to be going loopy. I thought maybe it was the full moon, but I couldn’t help but wonder if there was something weird about those cakes… I shrugged the thought away. I would sleep it off and hopefully everyone would snap out of it by the morning.
I awoke, in the middle of the night to sounds of shouting and gunfire. My grandparents property is somewhat secluded but still in town. I peered out the window and saw a group with torches and pistols fighting in the street. I sprinted to my grandads room and opened his closet. He had always kept a rifle.
Something was going on… I loaded up a pack of supplies and grabbed some back country maps. There was no way this was another random incident; the whole town was going mad. As I made my way to my car a man ran out of the darkness of the wood and dove at me. I narrowly got out of the way and started sprinting.
I hopped in my car and drove peeled out. It looked like a scene from horror film. People were walking around with pipes and bats, shouting and smashing vehicles. Multiple buildings were in flames including the town hall.
I hit the gas, fast, but still in control of the vehicle. He came from out of nowhere. I tried to stop but… he just ran out into the middle of the road. He was staring at me screaming with his hands in the air like a maniac.
It was like he had no concern for his own safety. The look in his eyes was feral. I was going to try and get help but as soon as I stopped I saw some people in my rear view running towards the car.
I had to get to my grandad’s cabin. I thought maybe he would be there with my grandmother. It was safer there. At least that was the plan. Unfortunately though I never made it, I crashed my car near the power station just outside of town.
I’ve spent the last week holed up in here with the doors and windows barricaded, living off of granola bars and fruit snacks. It was rough. On the second night some people almost broke in but I guess I secured it well enough and they gave up.
I had tried to find a signal to no avail. The first few days was mayhem out there but now there’s not a sound. Today I noticed I had reception again so I thought I would make this post.
I don’t know what I’ll find when I leave here, but I can’t stay here forever. I went outside to look around. It seemed calm, at least. Thankfully I haven’t had to use this rifle. I’m hoping it stays that way. I don’t what’s become of my grandparents or the town but it can not be good.
I hope none of you encounter this same fate.
Do not, under any circumstance, try Little Jane Snack Cakes. I beg you.
If you see them in your town… be prepared.