I sat and waited, legs crossed, back straight, eyes ahead. If someone would have taken a photo of me at that moment, it would have been good. Just saying. Yes, my hair was disheveled and there was the tiniest bit of blood trickling from the back of my head, but despite the dread and the nerves, I was feeling prepared.
I couldn’t hear the storm and the scratching anymore. All that was left was a tense kind of silence. The calm before the storm. And then, all of a sudden, the storm materialized right in front of me, his form, as per usual, that of a middle-aged man in sweatpants. His bare feet kicked up on the small tv table and his arms crossed behind his head. He leaned back on the sofa, grinning at me with brazen self-evidence, eyes twinkling.
“Miss Novak.”
“Why is it that everytime we meet, you have to terrorize me in some unforeseen way?”
“Doesn’t that make things more interesting?”
“For you or for me?”
He let out a soft chuckle before looking around. “Hey… where’s the company?”
“I sent them both away for this.”
“Oh, so the kids are with the sitter and you got me alone, that what you’re saying?”
I grunted.
“So, little forest bride, finally ready to talk shop? Where is the sleeper?” he inquired, leaning forward on his knees.
“Firstly, let’s just establish a couple things. You only ever asked me for its location, not to hand it over or anything. So if I just tell you where to find it—and that’s all—then you won’t retract the protection your huldufólk grants the woods?”
“Sure.”
“Okay,” I said slowly. “Seeing as we can’t avoid this conversation any longer. The sleeper used to rest beneath the meadow with the red flowers on it, in the dead body of an ancestor of mine.”
“Good girl! Then let me—Wait, did you say used to?”
I smiled thinly. Despite the relative calm I’d found myself in before, I was getting a little… let’s call it itchy. “It’s not there anymore. I knew what you would do with it, because, um, you told me. And I know it would turn the tide; it would grant you power even over my corner of the world. If you would even get so far. The sleeper is a powerful entity, and it would defend itself. It would lay this place to ashes.” I took a deep breath, fixing him with a stare. “So I removed it.”
“Excuse me?” Nick’s smile had frozen over on his face. The expression was even more affected and unsettlingly fake than all the ones I’d seen him wear before.
“I removed it. It’s inside of me now.”
Silence. For a moment, all the Devil did was hold my gaze. His mouth had turned into a thin line. This was the first time I’d seen his features derailing. Wow, I thought, I actually got him to shut up for once.
Telling him was the easy part, the soothing voice in the back of my head mumbled.
“Inside of you,” Nick echoed. “Inside of you?”
“They make for a very pleasant roommate. Bodymate. Uh, that sounded dirty.”
Despite himself, Nick let out a little chuckle.
“Anyways, we’re both pretty happy about the arrangement. So… I’m not going to give it to you.”
“So there’s something you’ve probably said to both my servant and me,” Nick remarked.
This time, I stifled a giggle.
“I’m not going to lie to you, Fiona, this is a bit of a shock. And an inconvenience. I should probably tell you though, it doesn’t change my plans,” he went on. “It’s too bad that it has to be like this, because honestly, I…” He tipped his head back in thought. “Huh. Actually, no, I wouldn’t say I like you. But I guess I don’t mind you. I wouldn’t have minded having you downstairs someday either. Like I said, if a woman such as yourself were to have Hettmann’s children—”
“Don’t finish that sentence.”
“Anyways, I’d rather deal with the fallout with Jacek than pass up the opportunity to feed on your sleeper. And if that means I have to pry it out of you, well, then… so be it.”
“You do know that killing me won’t solve anything? The Redness spent hundreds of years inhabiting a preserved dead body of its choosing. So even if I were to die, that doesn’t mean it would just float right into your mouth.”
The Devil grinned widely. “Then let’s find out how big the smallest piece of you it could possibly survive in would have to be.”
I forced my face to remain impassive, but my voice broke midway through the sentence I next spoke, causing me to repeat myself. “And what would you do if I won?”
“Excuse me?”
“If you’d attack me and I’d end up overpowering you and winning the fight, what would you do?” I asked.
Nick let out a soft laugh. “I think we’d best cross that bridge if and when we get to it.”
“Let’s take this outside,” I suggested, rising to my feet and gesturing at the front door.
The Beast chuckled to himself but followed nevertheless as I walked over and opened it for him. The same black maw greeted the two of us, the absence of all light and sound awaiting at my doorstep. But it wasn’t real. Nick was messing with my brain again.
Have no fear, the Evening Redness whispered to me, and for a brief moment, I saw a glimpse of the real outside world; the sky, the snow, the treeline, before it changed back to that sinister, sense-numbing darkness.
“After you,” Nick invited.
I took a deep breath and stepped outside. I heard the door fall shut behind my back.
I was relieved to feel the soft ground beneath my feet, the familiar crunch accompanying each of my steps. It really was all in my head. Still, being stripped of one’s perception of reality is nothing short of disturbing, so I’d be lying if I said it had no effect on me. Turning around, I couldn’t see Nick anywhere. He was effectively hiding himself, making use of my impaired vision. He’d really gotten up close and personal with that mind of mine. I felt like he was running his slippery fingers directly through my head, touching my skull from the inside.
Please, I reached out to the sleeper. You can’t leave me hanging now.
I don’t intend to. How far are you willing to let me in?
However far it takes.
And then, as if a switch had been flipped, the world was fully illuminated again. I could see everything, myself, the house, the sauna, the meadow—and Nick, standing a few feet away from me with a scowl on his face.
“You can stop trying,” I told him. “I’m not alone, it’s not gonna be that easy.”
“Then just let it be known that you chose to do this the hard way.”
With that, he threw his head back, a gash suddenly splitting his throat. Dark liquid came splattering out and I backed off in shock, only to realize that it wasn’t a wound at all—it was an opening. A dark gap with the rest of his human body flailing beneath it like it was no more than a ragdoll. A romper made of skin being discarded as something else climbed out from inside of it.
The legs came first. One by one, sixteen long, slender ink-black limbs pushed themselves out of the suit of flesh, producing a wet squelching noise as they unfolded, displaying far too many unnaturally bending joints. They ended in cloven hooves, each of them coming down on the ground with a stomp, whirling up the pristine, powdery snow. Then the rest of the body emerged. It looked kind of like a horse or a goat, small in comparison to its enormous leg span. It didn’t really have a head, just three large, round eyes sitting in the middle of its misshapen torso.
I wanted to puke. I wanted to scream and squeeze my eyes shut, hide my face in my hands. But I did none of those things. I didn’t turn away. I stood upright, rooted to the spot, my hands clenched into trembling fists at my sides. The thing was towering above me, growing ever taller as it stretched to its full height, its spindly legs straightening. I had to crane my neck to continue looking up at it. Granted, there may have been more in the grand scheme of things, but at that moment, I was certain that this was the most nightmarish thing I’d ever seen. My entire body, every last instinct, all my good senses were screaming at me to run; every fiber of my being was trembling in fear of this entity, this living, breathing terror. Part of me wanted to throw myself at its feet, to offer up anything and everything and to beg for forgiveness just so I’d be rid of this sight… but I didn’t.
I stayed on my feet, eyes trained on Nick’s new form, gritting my teeth so hard I was afraid they’d splinter. I didn’t allow myself to tremble. I didn’t allow myself to weep. I forced my mind to stop racing, willed my thoughts into order.
Are you there? I asked the sleeper.
I’m here.
I need to best him now. It’s time. Are you ready?
I’m at your command, it said softly. You are my conduit, my channel and my mistress. Make use of me as you see fit.
I took an uncertain step forward, stumbling as if prodded by an aggressively encouraging parent standing behind me. How? I found myself growing desperate, my heart pounding wildly as I tried to figure out what to do.
Just do it. Do what you must; whatever you need. Trust yourself. Trust us.
I raised my head, biting my lip as my gaze found the one of the sixteen-legged horror looming overhead. Nick’s three eyes focused on me, and even in the beyond surreal form he was in, I thought I could see that familiar, mocking glint in his stare. I began to walk. Step by step, I moved towards him. One of his hooves lifted and came down upon me, and I dodged only at the very last second. The movement felt effortless. I don’t even remember deciding to do it, or feeling alarmed by the threat of the impact, it all just kind of… happened.
You shall not fear.
I picked up my pace, starting to run towards the nearest leg.
You will not fall.
I jumped. I jumped farther and higher than I ever had before, adrenaline rushing through my body, adrenaline and Red.
You will not fail.
Before Nick could react, I had already thrown my arms around the limb, fingers digging into the flesh with a strength I was sure a previous version of myself could never have mustered. The leg felt unlike anything I’d felt before. It was like a continuous squirming cramp of muscles beneath the pitch-black fur, wriggling beneath my touch as though every inch of it was alive and had a mind of its own. I swallowed the bile rising in my throat. Like an athlete scaling a mountain, I began to pull myself up. I climbed the giant’s leg at a steady pace, clinging on despite his attempts to shake me off, despite the frantic stomps, the furious growls and tremors. Finally, I pulled myself onto the round torso. It made me feel like I was standing on a platform, almost as high up as the treetops.
Nick began to thrash around more fiercely, then, almost dancing on the spot as he attempted to buck me off. I felt like a rodeo clown, holding onto his stretchy, hairy skin like the horn on a saddle.
“What are you even doing?”
The Devil’s voice came from nowhere in particular. He had no mouth in his current form, but he wasn’t speaking to me from inside my head either—his voice was rolling across the meadow like a thunderclap. I dragged myself towards his uppermost eye, hanging my head to glare down into it from above. The wind was whipping my lace-covered back, causing me to flatten my body against that of the Beast. I felt distinctly reminded of the position I was in when I’d peered at him hiding under my bed.
“Get off, you stupid bi—”
Before he could finish his sentence, I plunged both my hands into the glazed surface of his eye. The squishy flesh gave way immediately and I felt warm, thick liquid swirling around my fingers. I had no idea what this form of his was made up of, but it was corporeal enough to be injured. And when Nick’s agonized, bellowing shriek echoed across the expanse of the grassy plain, I knew that I had done just that. I pulled my hands back out with as much force as I could muster, drawing another cry from the Devil. But as soon as I sat back, he reared up again, this time managing to throw me off.
I was sent flying through the air, and before I knew it, I was already falling, nearing the ground in a flurry of white tulle as my skirt fluttered around me, inflating like a balloon. I closed my eyes, bracing myself for a collision I was sure I wouldn’t survive, only to find that it never came. Instead, the snow beneath seemed to catch my fall like a soft, silky net.
You will not fall.
I rose to my feet. Nick’s form had begun to twist and warp, his legs twitching like those of a dying insect. His entire body seemed to collapse into a heap of vibrating dark matter, a heap of half-fleshy, half-nebulous mass.
Go on. Bring an end to this nonsense.
I took a deep, cleansing breath, steadying myself as I proceeded towards him. He can’t fully materialize anymore. You did something strange when I stuck my hands into his eye, didn’t you?
The sleeper sounded pleased with the question. Something effective. Something you made possible.
Thank you.
“Old Nick,” I called out. Somehow, I felt his attention on me. And then I realized it. It wasn’t just that he couldn’t hold a form anymore—he couldn’t move. Couldn’t leave. “I wanna talk. Are you listening?”
“What have you done to me?” he pressed out, somehow still able to speak. He didn’t sound anything like himself, though.
“Honestly? No idea. But you’re trapped. Do you understand? You can’t get away from here. You can’t leave this place.”
“Why?”
“Because this ground is not yours to command. Because you’re weak here, and now you’re hurt. And most importantly, because I won’t let you,” I responded. “We won’t let you.”
“So that’s your grand plan? Keep me here forever? You can’t do that.”
“For long enough at least to make you really fucking uncomfortable. Now, we can talk about this. It doesn’t need to be like this, but goddamn if I’m not gonna deliver. If you want to play it like this, then so am I. I will keep you on my land for as long as I possibly can, and we’re gonna find out just how many days or weeks or months or years that’ll be. But remember, this is my land, my home—yours is all the way down in hell, and who knows if there won’t be someone else taking on your responsibilities while you’re away.” I allowed a smile to creep up on my face. It was only a teensy bit forced, too. “I’m just gonna get comfortable.”
For a beat, he stayed silent. Then, “What do you want?”
“I want the huldufólk to stay on my side. I want you to forget about every last issue you have with me. You’ll stop terrorizing me, stop appearing around the house or in my room and you’ll stop creeping on my brother. Casimir, that is. You can do whatever you want with Jem. And you won’t try to get the Evening Redness. I won’t let you consume it, and you’ll never have power over this place; neither will anyone else. These are my woods. Mine.”
“Understood,” he wheezed as the sleeper and I tightened our grip on his essence.
“Oh, and your valet? He’s mine. I mean, if he wants to be. Don’t even think about grounding him or doing anything to keep him away from me.”
“You don’t want him to stay here full time and attend you?”
“That’s not a relationship, that’s a hostage situation. He wants to work for you, he can do whatever. I don’t care. But whatever beef we got, don’t take it out on him. And don’t use him against me ever again. Deal?”
“Fair enough.”
“You agree, then?”
“Yes! Yes, for fuck’s sake!” he spat.
“And don’t even care to try and find, like, a loophole here or whatever. Don’t come after me. Don’t ever mess with me again.”
“I won’t!” He sounded angrier than I’d ever heard.
“I got your word on that?”
A heavy sigh. Then, “You do.”
My heartbeat slowed considerably.
Let him go? the Redness inquired.
Let him go, I confirmed.
Nick’s form immediately shrank into the human body I’d grown accustomed to. His skin was red again, streaked golden. As he was lying on the ground, he bore a strange hint of unearthly grace. He pushed himself up on his arm, tired eyes glaring up at me in pure, angry frustration. It was a look I knew well, though. I’d seen a close approximation of it nearly every time I’d looked in the mirror these last couple nights. I smiled thinly at him. “Get out of here. And don’t come back.”
“Believe me, I won’t,” he hissed.
Not another word left his lips before he sank down into the ground, disappearing right before my eyes. I let go of the deepest sigh in history.
I went back inside and sank right into the cushions of my couch.
If you want, you can go back to sleep now, I told Red.
I’d be very grateful for that. Call upon me anytime, and I will wake.
I’ll remember that. Thank you.
My head felt empty. Empty and free and light. Almost like I was drunk on relief. Or maybe it was merely the fatigue. I pulled out my phone and texted Cas.
“Broooooo. Come back, I miss you.”
Yup, that many O’s.
So that was embarrassing enough; I don’t really know what drove me. You don’t even wanna know what I texted Jacek. I proceeded to drag myself upstairs and draw a bath which I hopped into without further ado. After soaking for a blissful hour, I dried off and put a fresh, pristine white gown on. I returned downstairs, laid down on the sofa and fell asleep. I’m unsure how long I was out for, but when I woke up, I found Cas nestled against my shoulder and Jacek’s head resting in the fluffy folds of my skirt. I didn’t even hear them come in, and they’re out cold.
All of this is still so odd to me. This started out as nothing but a rant about wannabe internet cryptid hunters, and now we’re, well, here. It’s hard to believe. And what’s even stranger is that I’m happier than I’ve been in a very long time. I’m really grateful for all the support.
There’s still a lot that needs straightening out here. There’s a creature out there that pretended to be an angel to fuck with me and my estate, and they’re sure as shit not going to get away with it. The sleeper also needs some more gentle love and care; I’ve got a couple ideas about our arrangement that I want to pitch to them. But for now, I’m just glad I get to sleep. Finally.
Guess I’ll see you guys soon.