You’d think I wouldn’t be able to sleep after having the literal Devil house under my bed, but I actually found the part of the night that followed very restful. Maybe all the excitement had exhausted me. To my surprise, no alarm clock rang me out of bed the following day. I was tickled awake by the gentle rays of winter sunlight falling in through my window. I admittedly felt a little like a Disney princess. Someone had drawn the curtains open and tucked my blanket closer around me—I noticed it as soon as I opened my eyes. A fuzzy warmth spread in my chest as I swung my legs out of bed and started climbing into my dress. Traipsing down the stairs, I was met with the delicious smell of pancakes. This was… suspiciously pleasant.
Upon entering the kitchen, I found Cas waiting for me, holding out a loaded plate.
“You made breakfast?”
His shoulders drooped. “I was feeling really guilty for how I blew you off yesterday,” he admitted sheepishly. “And then I had a really sad, creepy nightmare where you were standing across from me and you were looking at me with your eyes all white and you were crying, and I wanted to comfort you but then all of my teeth fell out… Anyway, I went to wake you up but you looked so peaceful… I ended up turning off your alarm. Figured you’d need the rest. I’ve already checked up on the morning shift. Everyone seems to be doing alright, although we will need a replacement for Hayes sooner rather than later.”
“Didn’t you meet some folks who were interested in working here a little while ago? You know, when you went to town.”
“Yeah, but I don’t know if we ought to be conducting interviews at a time like this,” he argued.
“We’re gonna have to. We don’t have to do it here. We could do it somewhere public. There’s a diner there that’s not so bad, right?”
“That might work.” A sparkle returned to Cas’ eyes as he proceeded to douse my pancakes in syrup. “I hope it was okay that I came into your room. I was missing you a lot. I know that makes me sound like a baby, but—”
“But what are you gonna do,” I interrupted him casually. “Sweetie, you’re not Jem. And you used to hang out in my room all the time.” I set my plate down on the kitchen table and proceeded to tell him about Nick’s visit the night prior. Casimir was shocked, but I assured him that I wasn’t letting the Devil’s mind games get to me.
“So aside from that, we’ve potentially been sitting on what, an eldritch horror that’s sleeping somewhere on our property?” he clarified.
“Seems like it. But on the plus side, all Nick asked me to do is locate it. Not to wake it up, not to make contact, just to locate it.” I shrugged. “I think I can do that.”
“I can run some job interviews on the side!” my little brother offered readily.
“I’d appreciate it, but, like… elephant in the room, what do we do about Dad?”
Casimir fell silent. “I seriously don’t know. But I’ll try to come up with something, I promise. You can’t waste your energy worrying about him right now. It’s been bad enough for you as of late. I want… I need you to be okay. I’m scared for you. Anyone else would have probably gone insane by now.”
I smiled, waving him off. “Surely not anyone…”
“Fi, that wasn’t some sort of compliment. I think you’re literally at risk of losing your mind,” he said sternly. “Look, I’ll try to take care of the Dad-situation. You, do what Nick asked. If we keep him happy, he’ll uphold the deal with the huldufólk. Besides, I really don’t want him to be pissed at us. He freaks me the fuck out.”
“I know what you mean.” Squirming in my seat, I tried to meet Cas’ pale green gaze. “Okay, I’m not sure if I should be telling you this, but Nick… He kind of likes you. He says that once you die, you’ll become one of those demons who torture the sinners in Lust. Is that something you wanna do, by any chance?”
From the disgusted look on his face, I could tell that it was probably not. Casimir seemed to be genuinely repulsed by the idea, but his answer was rather level-headed. “I kinda… I guess I knew. I honestly don’t know if I can even change that. And I wouldn’t even know how to start trying.”
“Maybe not knock up every other girl you meet?”
He let out a dry chuckle. “Yeah, that’d be a start. But that’s something I’ve been meaning not to do anymore either way. Fi… I’m not a monster.”
“I know.” I quietly cut off a part of my pancake stack. “Hey, um… Jeremy said some pretty concerning things. About how you’d understand what he’d done, if you were real with yourself. And that it was different for you guys. Any chance you could tell me what he meant by that?”
Casimir shook his head. “Jem’s crazy. Yes, I know what he’s talking about, but it’s bullshit. Of course we had a shit time as kids, but that doesn’t mean you’re allowed to go and kill people.”
“A shit time?” I repeated quizzically.
Cas let go of a deep, ragged breath. “It’s about mom. I think. See, mom was really pretty sucky. Not to you, of course, because she loved you, but us? Especially us boys? Well. I’m not sure how I’m supposed to describe it, except for cold. Okay, I feel shitty just saying that. I loved Mom, but…”
“It’s okay. Tell me.”
“Alright, so… My personal experience was that I could never do anything right in her mind. You know I was pretty good at school, right? She didn’t care. I came to her one summer with all As and she just brushed me off. Whenever I tried to talk to her, she’d do this thing where she’d nod along and pretend to listen but actually didn’t; that just made me feel stupid. But I don’t wanna whine or anything. She had good days, too. Sometimes, she was really sweet. That’d just make me feel confused.”
My little brother heaved a sigh. “She’d get really angry with me everytime I did something wrong. Something small was enough. I’d knock over a glass and spill water and she’d blow up at me, or I’d accidentally break a dish and she wouldn’t talk to me for days. Like, she’d literally pretend I didn’t exist. I felt… worthless. I know I shouldn’t be complaining. She kept me fed and well-dressed and everything…”
“That’s just keeping your base needs covered. You’re still allowed to be unhappy with how she treated you,” I replied. “Dad kept me fed, too, and he fucking hated me. You wouldn’t believe how much shit I did just to get a rise out of him. He was always angry with me, and it was like whenever we were alone, he would actively try to… I don’t know, take me down a peg? Like, one time, he was driving me to the doctor’s office because I’d caught this really bad cold—that was when I was around fifteen, I think. And the whole drive, he just kept on insulting me. He literally called me names. And I hadn’t spoken the entire time, I was just trying to tune him out.”
“Fuck. Dad was really like that to you? I mean, I knew you didn’t get along at all, but I always thought… hell, I don’t even know what I thought.” He snorted. “I can’t believe those were the same two people we’re talking about. Dad was always in my corner as a kid. He was there for me, he comforted me, he taught me a bunch of stuff… He just saw me, does that make sense? He was on my side.”
“I just wish there hadn’t been sides,” I said softly.
“Yeah. I think it was even worse for Jeremy. But then again, he was always really fucking weird. Honestly, I should have known he’d turn into something like this. There were a couple things I noticed, and, well… I never said anything. He told me not to, in fact, he basically threatened me once. For some reason, I actually only remembered that yesterday.”
“What kind of things did he do?” I asked hesitantly.
Cas squirmed in his seat, hiding his face by bringing his coffee mug to his lips. “You wouldn’t wanna know. I shouldn’t have brought it up. Maybe I’m remembering it wrong, too. Nevermind. So what’s your plan for today?”
Deciding not to press the matter, I leaned back, sliding aside my by then empty plate. “I’m gonna go talk to the Bannik. He’s bound to be able to help me out.”
“Yeah, I reckon he’d know about this,” Casimir said comfortably, his posture straightening as a smile returned to his face. “Guess I’m gonna see what I can do in regards to new hires. And Dad, of course.”
“Appreciate it.” I stood up, reaching out to gather the dirty dishes in my arms, but my brother stopped me.
“Leave it to me.”
I nodded, then went to pick up two bars of scented soap from my cupboard. A couple gifts never go wrong with the Bannik.
The snow had been piling up outside overnight. Glistening white covered the rooftops of the house, the stables and the sauna. Thick fog hung languidly over the red meadow, making the trees behind it appear like phantoms rising from the mist. Ominous. Breathtakingly beautiful.
The spirit of the sauna answered my knocking and request for entry almost right away. He gratefully accepted my offering and listened intently as I stated my purpose.
“What you’re asking of me is no simple task of divination,” he gibbered. “But I know what you’re looking for, and it can be done. Do come in.”
Smiling gratefully, I stepped inside. The Bannik scurried over to the wooden bucket of water in the corner and proceeded to drag it into the middle of the room. I watched as he draped his arms around it. To my wonder, the water began to steam and bubble. The spirit dropped one of my soaps into the boiling bucket and then motioned for me to come closer. “Your bloodline is a strong one, heiress. Your family has come a long way, and your past still echoes across this land. I can help you see memories that aren’t yours, if you provide me with a drop of your blood. It will act as a key, or a conduit, if you will.”
I nodded eagerly, pulling out my pocket knife and readily pricking the tip of my index finger. Ignoring the slight sting of pain, I squeezed out a bead of red and allowed it to drip into the bucket at the Bannik’s instructions. The water seemed to boil even more furiously, turning a deep, dark red. I shrank back, the sight slightly unsettling. “What now?” I stammered uncertainly.
“You’ll have to dip your head in.”
“What? I can’t do that! It’s gonna burn my face off!”
“That won’t be a problem. There is something else you’ll need to worry about, though. This isn’t perfectly safe. Keep your wits about you. You’ll see things, and if you stay in the water for too long, there’s a possibility you might feel… an influence.”
“An influence?”
“I don’t rightly know what else to call it. A highly unpleasant side effect. You could go… well, mad, for lack of a better word. But I’ll know when to stop you, and I will pull you up when it’s time. You may rely on me.”
“Do I want to?” I asked, nervous fingertips tracing the wood lines on the bucket.
“It is your choice alone. But I do believe it would be of great importance for you to see. It could establish a connection between you and your ancestors. That could be useful considering your… predicament.”
I regarded him with narrowed eyes. “And I can trust you with this?”
“I so swear. What good would it do me to kill my own warden?”
I nodded slowly. Then, I took in a deep, steadying breath before pressing my eyes shut and plunging face-first into the bucket. I really did feel no pain. The water bubbling around me was pleasantly warm, even. I could feel my hair being cautiously drawn up behind my head, and I smiled to myself when I realized that the Bannik was holding it up for me. Readying myself for whatever was about to happen, I opened my eyes. To my surprise, this, too, didn’t hurt. I didn’t even feel the need to breathe. For a moment, I couldn’t see a thing. Then, all of a sudden, my mind was flooded with images.
Everything I saw and felt was different, wholly different. It took me a few seconds to realize that this wasn’t actually happening. These were simply memories; an experience belonging to somebody else. I wasn’t in the steaming room anymore, I wasn’t in my woods at all; hell, I wasn’t even in my own body.
I was a man on a horse, riding at the front of a long trek.
Walking behind me were roughly a dozen creatures of various shapes and sizes. Some stood upright while others prowled on all fours, some had faces while others had snouts; those aquatic brings who could not go on foot were being pulled along in a large basin on wheels or carried in jars. In front of me on the horse, nestled between my legs, sat a little boy. He was playing with the mane of my horse, braiding and twisting it while whistling a small tune to pass the time. Twigs and leaves were sticking out of his unruly, dark brown hair. Two short, fuzz-covered branches pierced his scalp on either side—nubs that would one day become large, majestic antlers.
Once he got older, he’d surely be able to shift into a more defined human form instead of this (admittedly adorable) mixed-up body. I had yet to see him take on his primal, likely more monstrous appearance. It couldn’t be that big and scary, considering his young age, but I had a feeling he was hiding it in order to appeal to my own human paternal instincts. I didn’t want to embarrass the proud little thing by bringing it up, though. The child would grow into a powerful creature, but as he was now, he was abandoned, hurt and in need of protection.
Normally, a Leshy would be raised in the woods he was to rule upon maturing. The offspring of another Leshy and a swamp Kikimora, his purpose in life would have been to become the new woodland guardian once his father died. I had found the boy at a crossroads, all by his lonesome and in obvious distress. When I’d asked about his territory and kin, he’d just started crying and wailing like a dying animal. That had settled it for me; he was going to come with us. I figured he was like the majority of the others—a fugitive, chased out of his natural habitat by the believers, the self-proclaimed saints who intended to purify grounds that weren’t theirs to claim by hunting down the spirits that reside upon them.
I had never been a man of God, but I could understand their fear. Still, I didn’t want the ancients to die. That’s why I was doing what I did. Looking for a new home for these beings. I turned my head to look at the man riding alongside me. His steed was pale as death itself, his sallow fingers clutching the reins with steely resolve. Despite the bags under his eyes and the sweat and grease that made his black hair look like a bird’s nest, he seemed to be holding up well enough.
“Is it still following us?” I asked, speaking in a language I, Fiona, did not know, but I, the rider, had been born into.
“Yes,” the man replied curtly, his voice deep and gruff.
“Is it close?”
“I don’t know.”
“Are you regretting this?”
A shrug. Egon Hettmann was a silent fellow. Still, the brief smile he threw me assured me that he hadn’t lost faith in our mission just yet.
“Um… Arek?” a tiny voice piped up. The boy in my lap had turned to face me, his eyes wide.
I didn’t have to ask what he’d meant to turn my attention to. Something was covering the sky, the hills, the trees up ahead. I could not for the life of me find the words to describe it. The sight in itself was so foreign, so unnatural and alien that it stole the breath from my throat. The little boy started whimpering, and soon, his sobs turned into full-on weeping as he pressed his face to my chest. I placed my palm against the back of his head, somehow managing to stammer out gentle whispers of comfort that utterly failed in their effect seeing as I, too, was beyond terrified.
“Is it alive? Is that the thing? Is it?” the child whined, grabbing at my sleeves as if trying to pull them around himself.
“Yes,” I said softly.
“Why won’t it leave us alone?” he wailed.
“I don’t know, little one,” I replied.
“It’s not moving,” Egon remarked, sounding deeply unsettled but trying to hide it. “Could we… go around it somehow?”
“I don’t know that we can,” I answered pensively. “It’s… it’s gigantic.” It was hard not to lose face considering what we were looking at. Normally, with the creatures we’d already encountered, it had been easy to come off of the shock after a moment. They’d resemble humans or animals just enough for me to always keep my composure, to always stand tall and either talk to them or convince them to leave me and my party alone with brawn or the miller’s black magic. Or, of course, to join us.
This thing, though, was completely unfamiliar, beyond description, beyond comprehension. It was impossible to tell if it had needs or wants or instincts, or what in the world they were, if it did. It was shapeless, shimmering in a strange mix of dusky hues. It wasn’t even corporeal, it just seemed to stand in the sky like the sunset. Despite all this, it seemed to radiate a certain sentience, an intent that I couldn’t fathom.
“Egon, you have to know something about this,” I whispered.
He merely shook his head, eyes still trained on the thing. “I swear I don’t. I’d tell you if I did, but I got nothing.” He sounded almost astounded, and I don’t know what disturbed me more—the fact that a worshipper of the Devil didn’t know what nameless horror this thing was, or that he was visibly scared of it.
“Arek!” the tiny Leshy in my arms cried out. “It’s coming closer, I can feel it! It’s coming!”
In the real world, I, Fiona, was pulled out of the water, emerging with a gasp. The Bannik moved to my front, regarding me with probing eyes.
“What did you see?”
For a while, all I could do was stare at him. My throat had gone bone dry. “I’ll be right back.” With that, I scrambled to my feet and staggered out the door.
My head was reeling, my cheeks flushed. The cold winter air hit my wet skin, almost piercing in its chill. I sucked it in, taking deep, frantic breaths. My mind was running wild, it was all over the place—I looked down at my hands, confused at the sight of my slender, pale fingers instead of the rider’s long, calloused ones.
Fuck.
This was what the Bannik had warned me of, wasn’t it? He was still there, the rider was still in my head—I didn’t feel like I was me. A name kept echoing through my thoughts. Arkadiusz. Arek. The traveler. The helmsman of the inhuman procession. His blood was in my veins. Diluted, yes, but somehow stronger than ever. At that moment, it seemed to be boiling. And then, the ground began to shake.
I froze in place.
The snow looked like it was vibrating, quivering and trembling as if the earth beneath was getting goosebumps. This was not my imagination—as I shot a glance over at the house, I saw the door being thrown open. Cas appeared on the stoop, eyes wide with terror. Within a second, he was at my side, shaking me by the shoulders as if the earthquake wasn’t doing so quite forcefully enough for his liking.
“What’s happening?” he shouted.
For once, I was speechless. My heart sank when I heard screams ring out from beyond the treeline—my guards. Aleksei. Where were they? I willed myself to calm, trying to ward off the fog of panic. “I don’t know!” I cried out. Then my gaze wandered over to the red meadow. Once more, I fell silent. “Look,” I said under my breath. Cas turned his head to follow my stare.
Swirling colors were hovering over the plain, like simmering heat in the summer. The air seemed to ripple and quail. I apologize for the lackluster description, but I simply can’t seem to put the sight into words. It instilled within me a fear similar to the one I’d felt upon seeing Nick for the first time. What I was looking at was unfathomable, and yet, however impossibly, alive. Unable to contain his horror, Casimir let out a sharp yell, half of which died in his throat. I stood still as a statue, not daring to move, to scream; not even to think.
And then, like nothing had ever happened, the nebula sank back into the snow. The quaking earth stilled beneath our feet. Complete silence settled over the woods.