Allow me to begin this message with an apology.
I can’t give my name. If I do, they’ll find this email- any mention of a scientist on site results in immediate observation by the higher ups. Just know that, for what it’s worth, I don’t think I was ever supposed to be here in the first place.
I was part of a team of 16 other people who were looking into the discovery of parallel dimensions and alternate universes. Through our successes, we branded a new project- one we simply named Project Clover- in which we tried to make contact with a place beyond our own realm of comprehension.
I don’t think I need to tell you that, if you’re reading this… we truly, truly fucked up.
The machine we made was meant to be no more than a complex box of a machine, but as we continued test after test, day after day, long shift after long, boring shift, we found ourselves adding more and more to it. Every failed test, every malfunction, it was back to the drawing board- this part needs to be supported more, this part needs a cooling system- until soon, it earned itself its own room within the facility, built upon itself as many times as needed until it worked.
And it worked. Lord help us, it worked. By the time half the team had chosen to pursue other ideals, the team that was left were able to open a portal to another world.
We didn’t dare go in. I don’t know what would’ve happened to us if we had- in all honesty, I don’t think it even matters. We sent in a drone attached with a camera, but it immediately disconnected; we tried to linefeed it, only to have the streaming surface bluescreen.
Whatever was beyond that portal didn’t want us to see inside. From the mouth of the machine, we could easily see why- the place this rift in time and space had opened looked upon a wasteland of black and grey, twisting spires of incomprehensible size and shape, not even a speck of life in the viewscape.
I wish that had been the only thing we’d seen. I wish that nothing had been alive in that place.
We don’t know when He entered our world. The machine was running for three weeks; He had ample opportunity to invite himself in. It had always been spectated, always been observed, but I suppose that didn’t matter, not by a long shot.
He entered our world, and He isn’t leaving.
We don’t know what to call Him. We don’t even know if ‘Him’ is the label we should be using- we doubt that He cares, or that He knows what it even means. All we know for sure about Him is that He keeps showing up wherever we try to go.
They keep trying to delete the stories. They try to silence the masses who are seeing Him too. Don’t worry- I’ve seen every single post or platform that claims sights of Him. It’s all I can do now, to remind myself of the Hell I’ve inflicted on the people I care about.
If you’re reading this, which by God I hope you are, then know this- you have met Him before. You will meet Him again. He chooses when to interact with you, and He chooses when you’ll next meet. He is everywhere- it doesn’t matter if you’re across the street or across the ocean, everyone will see Him, and has seen Him, at least once.
I don’t know how to help you. I’m sorry; I know He was my fault, but I don’t know what He wants from us. The only piece of advice I can give you is that He much prefers being ignored- just pretend He isn’t there, no matter how difficult it seems. He may not leave for many hours, perhaps even days- just pretend He’s not there. If you give Him attention, He’ll feed off of it, and I don’t know what that’ll do- I don’t know if that makes Him stronger, or if that gives Him permission to follow you for longer.
We can only pretend what He truly desires; it has to be something to do with us, because He only ever shows interest in us. Humans. People.
I can only begin to speculate on what He’s supposed to be. I don’t even know if He knows.
I’ve held this portal open for as long as I can bear to do so. I’ve hoped, prayed, that He’ll return to his own dimension, but I don’t think He wants to go. He’s perfectly content looking at us, standing over us as we sleep, standing behind us in the mirror. He sees our routine, our quirks, our personalities- He studies us like we’re insects under his microscope, just waiting for the sun to consume us in flame.
My team are long gone. Most of them chose to walk, to try and leave Him behind, but a handful of them walked elsewhere- straight into the portal, where they immediately turned to ash on the other side. I’ve wondered who got the best out of their decision.
He comes back to study me sometimes. I don’t know how many times He has appeared in my peripheral vision. I think He enjoys toying with me; He’s wondering when I’m going to try and do the same thing that my cohorts did.
I will not give in. Or, if I do, I’ll make sure this portal closes.
I don’t know what else is through there. Nothing else has tried to enter our realm since Him, but I truly don’t think that’s a bad thing.
I have to end this entry. I’m sorry that I brought this evil upon you all; I’m sorry that you’ll have to experience what I’ve done.
Goodbye. And may God- and He- have mercy on your souls.