With a pleased grin on my face, I slid my worksheet across the table. Under question 3.2 I had scribbled an unflattering caricature of our balding graduate student instructor. He had a tendency to drone in a monotone, Eastern European accent - leading to a pervasive sense of boredom the entire hourthirty-minutee class.
Luckily, I had Jane to endure the struggle with me. She was beautiful. Not an understated “oh she’s pretty” kind of beautiful, a kind of beauty that could invoke lust and love with just a glance. I had no business speaking to this woman, but by happenstance, we were seated across from one another.
On the first day of class, she initiated conversation with me. I was much too timid to utter the first word. From that moment onward, we trauma bonded from the relentless mental torture our professor bestowed upon us.
Jane giggled at my shitty illustration and scribbled one back of a grizzly suicide scene of a woman’s brain scattered across a wall from a shotgun blast to the head. The cartoon was captioned “Things I’d rather be doing than being here.” I could not contain my uproarious laughter.
The glasses-adorned, toupee-needing professor went dead silent and gnarled through his teeth “Focus. Please.” Jane and I both made a shocked and embarrassed face at one another followed by an inaudible giggle.
As I was packing up, Jane tapped me on the shoulder and with an ear-to-ear smile asked, “Whatcha up to Friday night?” I was caught off guard. I had no plans.
Well - I did have plans. I was going to call my mom, then my grandmother, then watch hours of podcasts accompanied by a pint of ice cream of my choosing. Not wanting to sound like a loser, I squeaked, “Uhhh yeah I was thinking maybe I was gonna take it easy, have a chill night. Maybe go with a few friends to bars or something. Haven’t really planned anything yet.” Then she inched closer and said, “Well… if you do decide to go out, I’m going to Phi Gam’s Heaven and Hell party, maybe I’ll see you there.” She finished her statement with the tiniest resemblance of a wink. I was shitting myself but had to collect my emotions in a matter of milliseconds, “Haha yeah, I have friends in Phi Gam. I may stop by if I’m feeling a little devilish.” Stupid - so fucking stupid - that pun was so dumb.
She chuckled and just above a whisper said, “See you there.” I ran back to my apartment, barely containing my excitement. I sprinted past students on the walkway, and some religious fanatic screaming slurs and condemning everyone to hell. It looked more contentious than usual, but I couldn’t be bothered with the momentary entertainment.
When I walked in the door, my roommate Miles was playing Xbox. He took one look at me and quipped, “What’s got you so giddy? They giving free BJs to virgins in the dining hall today?” Usually, I’d respond with something more vulgar, but all the dopamine made me unable to channel the necessary rage, “Nothing, just a nice day or something.” “Yeah.. uh-huh,” he uttered with a suspicious glance. “Miles.. um do you think you could maybe work something out and get me on the list for Phi Gam Friday?” His face lit up, and he immediately put his controller down, “You’re fucking with me.” I tried to explain myself, “Nah man, yknow it’s second semester. Time to start cutting loose.” His suspicious glance was back, and to get it to go away I began word barfing. “Yknow t’s been a tough week, I just wanna go out and have a little fun.” I said wringing my hands.
“It’s a bitch, isn’t it.” He said smugly. “No. Miles. It’s not a ‘bitch’” I muttered defeatedly, knowing I’m a terrible liar. He sprung to his feet, “Awwww David finally had his little sexual awakening and wants to explore women’s bodies!” I told him to shut the fuck up. He laughed and patted me on the shoulder, “Yes buddy, of course, I can put you on the list.”
Friday rolled around, I debated between a white button-down with exposed chest and a tight red shirt. I opted for the button-down.
Around 10 p.m. I began my walk off campus to the Phi Gam house. Music could be heard from around the block, and angry freshmen complained about how the bouncers were pricks. This party was one of the biggest and most exclusive of the year. I strolled up to the bouncer with confidence, “David Gutner.” I said with all the gusto in my chest. The brawny man looked me up and down, he mumbled, “You’re on the list… but are you supposed to be here?” I laughed nervously, “Yes of course.” “Suit yourself,” he grumbled and granted me entry.
I walked down a rickety staircase into the cramped basement. The party had just begun but was already filling up. In the front of the basement was a large DJ stand and 3 industrial coolers of jungle juice. The rest of the space was a large dance floor with elevated platforms.
“You actually fucking made it. Well, I’ll be damned. Good thing I’m not a betting man didn’t think there was a chance in hell you’d actually make it out.” Miles exclaimed to me, obviously trying to impress the girl he was with through exaggerated motions and enthusiasm. “Well, I’m here,” I muttered at the ground. “Welp, good to see you, man. Drinks are up there, we got water in the back, but you won’t be needing that. Drink up, my man.” He patted me on the back and walked away.
For the next fifteen minutes, I milled around with a red solo cup I filled with water. I would’ve just taken a bottle, but I did not want Miles to catch me with a non-alcoholic drink.
“Daviddddddd!” Jane screamed as she gave me a tight hug. I couldn’t contain my huge smile. We began chatting, talking forever about nothing. We were having the time of our lives. Out the corner of my eye, I saw one of the brothers of Phi Gam causing a scene. He was screaming obscenities, pushing, and throwing elbows. I didn’t think much of it. “Someone gotta cut that guy off,” I joked to Jane and she laughed. A few more minutes of flirtatious banter went by. I kept the jokes coming, but Jane was beginning to zone out. I assumed she was just becoming disinterested and a deep sadness enveloped me.
Suddenly, one of Jane’s friends sprinted across the dance floor to Jane, “HELP ME PLEASE IT BURNS IT HURTS SO FUCKING -“ Before she could finish her sentence she began throwing up chunky, dark crimson blood. It didn’t just look like blood, there was large fleshy chunks within it.
Panic set in, I began to become more aware of my surroundings. Everyone was moving and acting erratically. I screamed at the top of my lungs, but seemingly no one else was concerned with the dying girl at my feet. Across the sea of ravenous heads, I spotted one other guy who seemed as terrified as I. He sprinted up the basement stairs, within seconds he came tumbling down. He bashed his head multiple times and laid writhing in the floor. The bouncer came down the stairs.
“HELP US! CALL 911 THIS GIRL IS DYING.” I cried out to the bouncer. My voice broke as I was screaming so intensely over the deafening music. The bouncer broke off a piece of the railing and bashed in the head of the man who attempted to escape. He then lurched back up the stairs, presumably leaving.
I looked down at Jane, “We need to get the fuck out of here, take my hand.” As I began guiding her to the stairs, the belligerent brother from earlier blocked our exit. He was covered in blood and a lifeless stare in his eyes. He ripped Jane out of my grasp. He placed both his hands in her jaw and pulled separate directions. Jane’s jaw went flying onto the floor. He began animalistically eating what was left of her head. I shrieked, but couldn’t hear my own voice over the blaring music. Everyone in attendance was shouting gibberish. I began bawling.
Miles approached me again, he had pieces of flesh and hair in his teeth. He stared me dead in the eye and tried to bite me. I forced my thumbs deep into his eye sockets until he was on the ground in pain. I stood panting in shock.
“Get down.” A female voiced uttered to me. I looked at the ground and a girl covered in blood laid on a mound of bodies. “Get the fuck down or you’re going to die.” She angrily pushed through her teeth. I hit the ground as fast as I could.
After three more minutes of chaos, the music cut out. Suddenly footsteps echoed down the basement stairs. Another guy who was curled in a ball in a corner popped to his feet. “THANK GOD THE POLICE ARE HERE, ITS SAFE THANK Y-“ a gunshot ended his exclamation. He collapsed to the ground. The figure emerged from the dark staircase and into the light of the dance floor, it was the bouncer. Behind him, more footsteps crept. Ten middle-aged people followed behind him. At the back was an old man. It was difficult to make out the details of his face, but it was obvious he was elderly by the way he walked.
Over his shoulder, on his hunched back, rested a large sign. He crawled up to the DJ stand and picked up a microphone. He handed his sign to the bouncer who was now to his right on the DJ stand. The bouncer held the sign which read. “REPENT OR ENDURE AN ETERNITY OF HELL.” The old man tapped the microphone twice. The bouncer shot any cannibalistic students who attempted to approach the old man or his followers.
“SINNERS. YOU HAVE REJECTED THY GOD. YOU HAVE REJECTED ETERNAL SALVATION FOR ETERNAL DAMNATION. YOU FORNICATERS, WHORES, SEED-SPILLING DEMONS. WHAT YOU ARE NOW IS WHAT IS WITHIN YOUR SOUL. ENJOY HELL ON EARTH AND INTO THE AFTERLIFE.”
The old man’s armed followers began to shoot into the crowd. Despite their impending doom, the students laughed and clawed at their own flesh and others. There was not an ounce of humanity in the human-filled room. I quietly sobbed, playing dead on the floor.
After ten minutes of non-stop shooting. More shooting emerged from the staircase. A barrage of heavily armed SWAT and Police Officers rushed the basement. They killed every one of the followers of the old man. The old man got on his knees and they handcuffed him. He began laughing and screaming more religious rhetoric as he was forced up the stairs.
With a bullhorn they announced, “This is Duncansville police, emergency medical services are here to assist all injured persons. We are here to help.”
I laid shaking, and uncontrollably sobbing on the floor. My mind was numb. All I could see was blood and dismembered bodies. Flesh laid randomly across the floor. The smell was so foul I gagged every time I took a second to breathe from sobbing. I ended up hyperventilating.
I woke up in the hospital the next morning. My family was by my side, before I could even get my bearings the police came in to ask me questions about what happened. I had trouble remembering at that point, as I was still in shock.
The officers explained that a religious extremist group on campus has committed an act of domestic terror. They spiked the alcohol with a mixture of bath salts, lsd, and cyanide. This led to the erratic and violent behavior of the people who drink it, as well as their eventual deaths.
I washed clumps of blood from my hair for weeks. Classes were canceled the last 8 weeks of the semester. That Summer I began therapy and worked through everything I experienced. Months later I returned to campus. I was still broken, but able to continue.
As I walked to class the first day, a man with a university shirt approached me on the quad and handed me a pamphlet. I looked down at the piece of paper in my hand that read only one word - REPENT.