Now that you are a valued customer and have already filled out the contract, there are rules that need to be followed to a T! b e s u r e t o f o l l o w t h e m a t a l l t i m e s :) your survival will depend on them. follow the yellow arrows and remember there are no cellular devices allowed in our establishment.
1.) our opening hours are 4:00 pm- 9:00 pm. you may only arrive at 3:54 pm, no earlier or later. If you do arrive early, at 3:33 pm there will be a man with a dark crimson suit escorting people inside. he will try to beckon you from your car if you are not already in line. this man is not one of us. do not make eye contact; for he may not notice you quite yet.
1.5) if you do make eye contact, or he has noticed you, drive away. do not look in your rear view mirror. do not stop until you are home. at least you have some hope that he has not gotten inside your home, although he usually finds a way.
2.) when you enter the museum, a member of our team will ask why you’ve come. you mustn’t reply and hand over your ticket. any other response, and the team member will lead you to a “VIP exclusive” path. you don’t want to see what happens if you were to take that path.
3.) you’re now in the exhibit section, congrats! follow the yellow arrows and be sure not to lose any loved ones. our workers have a tendency to discard lost items.
4.) be sure to focus on your surroundings. you will see that there are many clocks around the museum, but they do not work. you may bring a wristwatch if you want to get out by closing time. there are many exhibits that show the ones who didn’t make it out in time.
5.) if you notice yourself going in circles, ask one of our workers where the restroom is. go inside, wait 5 minutes and flush twice. they will be listening. look in the mirror to make sure you still look noticeably alive. if you do not, well it’s better to be in here than out there.
6.) at 6:55 pm, there will be a moment where the lights go out. do not move and do not open your eyes. if you feel someone pushing on your shoulders, you may open them but do not look behind you. if you feel them let go, you are safe. for now.
7.) if you see a clown giving out balloons at the john wayne gacy exhibit, you must take one balloon and ask for him to draw a smiley face on it. he will not draw that, but it’s good to keep him happy. if you look displeased by the drawing, he will follow you until you can manage to distract him and run as fast as possible out of the museum. since he was the last one that was given a balloon that was not to his liking, he’ll be more than glad for you to take his place.
8.) our revolving doors seem to malfunction from time to time. there’s no point in forcing your way through, so you will have to take the exit door near ted bundy’s volkswagen. we cannot guarantee you will be in the same place you started once you exit, and we cannot allow our guests back in after their experience is over.
9.) if you manage to get through the revolving doors, the gift shop will be waiting for you! if you have a child, you may buy one item from our gift shop. if you do not have a child, it would be best to leave the gift shop as soon as possible.
Your visit to Alcatraz is over! Did you enjoy the museum? What was your favorite exhibit? oh, and one last question.
did you remember to check the time?