It’s been a while since things happened to me. My life has collapsed on me without me knowing and now I am left with nothing but a burning ache in my heart. I couldn’t face them anymore, I withdrew the $15393 left on my account and bought an RV and did some slight customization. I sold whatever belonging I couldn’t take with me and left without telling anyone.
I decided to drive and drive until I can be myself again. No, until he will be back again. I headed into Nevada desert speeding at 91 mph and almost running over multiple unsuspecting birds on the quiet road.
In the beginning, I would sometimes bump into random other cars, I never thought much of the people I passed by. I noted a few, like a pot-bellied drunk yelling and singing some old southern tune while speeding down the road, a mother cradling a child in the backseat of a broken down car and the father all dirtied and sweaty trying to fix up the engine of their station wagon.
Most peculiar of all was this little food truck. The guy driving it, a fella who I think was named Dexter or something, stopped by the side of the road to offer me a bite. He thought I looked hungry which in all fairness I probably did, and he cooked up some pretty good burgers and topped it off with some fries. The guy told me he had lost his wife to cancer and he has been going up and down this road for the past couple of weeks giving people food. I thought that was what his wife would have wanted if she was there.
I felt sore for the guy, I knew what it was like to lose someone, so I asked him where he was going, I figured I can tag along to get some sense of a goal. He said he was just cruising up and down the road so I asked if he could use an extra pair of hands because I could help him free of charge. He thought for a long while before answering that I sure can come with him if I wanted but he will be heading down south and then cycle back once he hits the state border.
Our first few days were mostly uneventful, we stopped by a gas station next to a small town just before we headed into the heart of the desert. Dexter, stopped by to refuel and restock a bit on supplies and I refueled. I walked around the town aimlessly. It wasn’t until I saw the telephone pole things started to come back.. . The lights, The blaring, the thunderous bangs. . . . . the crack . . and in the background, the ringing, that cursed ringing. . . I was down with this fuckery, I felt like I was going to puke, I sprang back to my car and rampaged the cabinets for anything to drink or stuff into my mouth to silence in scream crawling out of my throat, like an centipede, the scream, it’s hundreds of legs, slowly, deliberately, climbed inch by inch up my throat. I felt like I was going to puke, I almost knocked over my macbook on my bed and fell to the floor. The insect was merciless, it continued to crawl up my throat, until finally, it came out. The insect slowly left from my mouth crawling over my tongue and out between my jaws, it wiggled its way onto the carpet and pulled itself slowly out of my throat, I could feel my head get lighter, the lights, the sounds, the ringing. . .
When I woke up again, I found myself on the floor of my RV. I had passed out and it was already 6 or 7 o’clock. I found myself, slowly pushing myself off the ground and looking around, my Rv was a mess, it looked like a racoon with rabies has rampaged it and looted whatever it could. I had one of my episodes again, I forgot to take my medicine again, the episodes only keep on getting once each time i forget to take it. I left the Rv to check in with Dexter, he probably left already, so unsurprisingly, I found a note on my hood, from Dexter telling me that he left already but said he will be at the next town waiting for me since he got some business he had to attend to.
It was probably some bullshit he made up but I didn’t really care. I understood that I was just a hobo in a RV who just had a psychotic episode, he had good reasons to leave me behind anyways. I walked out to a sunset, and I leaned on the hood of my RV to witness the true beauty, it struck me as odd that nobody seemed to be on the streets nobody anywhere. There was no sound nothing except for the distant howl of the wind. I looked around in houses and stores and found them unabandoned left to rot and in serious disrepair.
The fuck just happened here? I thought, a second ago, or an hour ago I remember seeing at least 50 people chattering and wondering around town, where the fuck is everyone? Stay calm Robert Stay calm I told myself, don’t lose it again, don’t lose your shit again. I knew I was probably in another episode, but I decided it would be a good idea to start driving off into the sunset to look for Dexter. I found a few jerry cans of oil and diesel which I left in the trunk and I took a couple bags of rice I figured I could cook it in my rice cooker, and I took 2 wholes boxes of chips and ramen noodle, and a lot of diet coke to keep me awake.
I wasn’t in my best condition when I finally started driving again. My head was spinning and I was chowing down on my good diet of ramen and chips. As night aproached, my eye lids started getting heavy, but I kept driving, I can’t stop now, I had to find someone before I can close my eyes. I almost hit a telephone pole three times that night, but still no luck regarding finding anyone. But I did find something else, a crashed car .. .
The alarms, the running, the yelling, the sound of the wheels on the bed being pushed, the people in the white coats . .. . . Him, he was bleeding, his eyes looked hollow, No! No! No! No! NO! ROBERT STOP, I fell to the floor again puking my guts out. Not this again, I rubbed my eyes and looked at the side of the road again, nothing, there was no car anymore, it was just me. Or was it?