| Part I | Final |
In school, we had learned about the five stages of grief.
The stages come into effect whenever a person experiences something.. unpleasant. This can mean a variety of things, from losing a loved one, or going through a traumatic experience. Your brain goes through these five stages to protect you, to help you cope.
The first, is shock and denial. People usually experience numbness, both physically, and emotionally. It’s typical for people in this stage to ask repeated questions,
more often questions that they already know the answer to, but that their brain refuses to believe.
I was no exception.
The dark haired boy was still speaking, although his words landed on deaf ears, for the person he was trying to talk to was currently going through the first stage of grief.
“Y- Your name is Avery?” I interrupted, my voice quiet, but cutting as I pushed myself up into a sitting position, feeling uncomfortable laying on my back.
The boy looked at me, exasperated and annoyed as he realized that this was the only piece of information I gleaned from his words.
“Yes. My name is Avery. Did you get any of what I just said?” He asked as his eyebrows furrowed, irritation leaking into his voice.
An embarrassed flush crept up my face as I dropped my eyes. “Er- some of it..” I mumbled, my face so hot that I was sure that he could feel the heat radiating off of me.
I could hear the small sigh that he made, followed by rustling. I took a chance and looked up, where I saw Avery rustling around in a black bag for something.
“Look, I know this is confusing. I’ll explain everything later, but right now, there’s no time. We’ve already made too much noise.” He said hurriedly with another paranoid glance over his shoulder.
Looking back, he finally removed two things from his bag. “You’re going to need this, put it on ‘’ He said, tossing one to me. I caught it, turning it over in my hands as confusion etched onto my face. It looked like.. a mask. But with no holes for the eyes or mouth, or a strap at the back. It was stark black, and weirdly smooth, made of a material I didn’t recognize. “What is thi-“ I started to ask, but his voice cut me off.
“Do you trust me?” He said suddenly, his dark blue eyes pressing into mine. I swallowed. Thoughts raced across my mind as I tried to sort through them. There was no time for logic, not now. My dad had always told me to be logical, and think with my head instead of my heart. I was trying so hard to listen to my head, but my heart was louder.
“Yes.” I said quietly, so softly that I thought he wouldn’t hear me, but the relieved expression that washed over his face told me that he did.
“Then please, put the damn thing on. Questions later.” He said softly, some of the impatience leaving his voice. Without another word, I held my breath and put the mask-like thing up to my face. It was one of the oddest experiences I had ever felt. It felt like a suction cup attaching itself to my face, so tightly it was as if the mask was merging with my face. The no holes for the eyes or mouthed proved not to be an issue, since I got to breathe perfectly fine, almost as if it wasn’t on at all. I looked up to see if Avery had his on, and when I looked up, I had to stifle a gasp.
It was like his face had completely disappeared, a black oval where his face should have been. It was beyond unnerving, merely looking at it sending a chill throughout my body. Is that what it looked like on me? “Ready?” He asked, seeing I had put it on. Hearing him speak without seeing his mouth was creeping me out, but I didn’t say anything and instead just nodded. He extended a hand out, seeing that I was still on the ground. I hesitated for only a fraction of a second before I took his hand, letting him pull me to my feet. As soon as my hand touched his, I felt a shot of warmth, startling me slightly, but leaving me as soon as he let go.
“Stay with me, and stay quiet.” He said softly, swinging his bag back onto his back, turning to start walking. As I started to follow him, I looked up, at last trying to get a picture of my surroundings, to hopefully get some information to where the hell I was. I was not prepared for what I saw.
It was the city.
I tried to keep walking so as to not get too far behind Avery, but my eyes were glued to the sight in front of me.
It couldn’t be. Could it?
My thoughts were racing, and to confirm, I looked behind me. The body of water that Avery had just pulled me out of was the very same one that I had gotten thrown into in the first place.
My heart was pounding as I looked around me. It was an exact replica of the city, but it was distorted. Every building was drained of color, almost everything in sight being a different shade of black or gray. On top of this, every few seconds something would.. glitch. Like a lagging video game. Like the holograms that were in movies.
Something wasn’t right. You could feel it everywhere you looked. A sickening sense of unease, of dread with every washed out, colorless building that we passed. I quickened my pace to get closer to Avery. I didn’t know where we were going, since we were going into the west part of the city, which I wasn’t too familiar with. All my life I had everything I needed fairly close to where I lived, so there wasn’t really any reason to explore. I know that Avery told me to not ask questions, but I wanted to know where we were going, if I was going to need anything to protect myself with, since the feeling that I was being watched hadn’t gone away since I arrived in this fucked up dystopia.
I silently walked faster, until I was next to him. Maybe it was the fact that I had my Slip on my mind, but as I got closer I could feel my heart start thumping uncomfortably against my chest.
“A-Avery?” I asked softly, trying to keep my voice low. He glanced at me, and I cringed as I remembered that we still had the black masks on. “Yeah?” He replied, matching my quiet voice. “I know you said not to ask questions, but where are we going?” I asked. He glanced around, before lowering his head to speak. “My place. Where I lived before I came here. I’ve been using it as sort of a safehouse. We don’t have to keep our voices down there, and I can explain everything.” He said quickly and quietly.
Just as he finished speaking, a loud thump came from in front of us, startling me as a black, distorted figure came out from a glitching convenience store. It looked like a man, but his face didn’t have any features, his face looking oddly like the black ovals that our faces now resembled because of the masks. My heart stopped in my chest, as Avery grabbed my arm to stop me from walking. “Don’t look at him.” Avery whispered feverishly into my ear. “He’s Lost.”
The distorted man had an uneven gait, almost limping. As he got closer I could see that his black body was.. glitching like everything else in this fucked up place. I quickly looked down as Avery instructed, trying to keep my breathing in control. I felt Avery’s hand tighten on my arm as the thing got closer to us, and as it got closer I could hear it mumbling incoherently. It continued to get closer, so close that I could feel its presence with every fiber of my being. It was beyond uncomfortable, but staying true to Avery’s instructions, I didn’t make a sound.
The next few minutes felt like an eternity before Avery looked up and looked behind us, letting out a small sigh of relief as his grip loosened on my arm, before letting go. “Come on, we have to hurry.” He mumbled, starting to walk again, faster than we were before. Neither of us said anything for a while.
As we walked, I was left to my own thoughts, as my brain was trying to make sense of everything that had happened to me. I thought about my family, an internal ache spreading through me as I tried to imagine what they would be feeling when I didn’t come home. I stewed on this for a while, before the surge of anger washed through me. This wasn’t even my fault. Fucking Joseph was the one who thought I needed to live a little more, who decided it would be a grand idea to chuck me into the river. Fucking Joseph.
I forgot to mention that the second and third stages of grief are pain, and anger.
With all of these thoughts running around through my head, there was still one that I had refused to acknowledge.
Getting a person of the same gender on your Slip wasn’t unheard of, and actually happened pretty often. I just- never thought I would be one of those people. I suppose having Matchmakers made us blind. With the promise of a soulmate, you never really had to think or worry about your sexuality, or relationships. You knew that someone else was out there, figuring it out for you. It was uncomfortable to think about how people you’ve never even met know more about your own sexuality before you even do, before you even had a chance to figure it out.
I actually shook my head, trying to chase away these thoughts. It was ridiculous. I would know if I liked guys. Right?
I didn’t have time to dive deeper into these thoughts.
“We’re here.” A soft voice said, bringing me away from my thoughts. I looked up at where we were. It was one of those houses that was small and cramped, on a street where it seemed like the builders were trying to find out how many houses they could fit onto it. It looked fairly normal, and I expect it would have looked better if it had, you know, color. Avery opened the door, beckoning me inside quickly, shutting the door behind us. I looked around, finding a surprisingly neat interior, with bookshelves and couches like any normal house would. Looking around, I was relieved to notice that nothing in here was glitching around like outside, even if it was still colorless. The only odd thing was that there was an empty space in the middle of the living room, like someone had taken away the table, but left the couches.
“It’s not the nicest, but it’s home.” Avery said, to which I turned to look at him. Before I could reply, he put a hand to his face, starting to peel his mask off from the bottom. “We can take these off, but keep yours close by.” He said peeling his own off and setting it on the closest couch. I put my own hand to my face, fleetingly wondering if mine would come off, since it felt like it wasn’t even there anymore. To my great relief, I was able to feel it, and copied what Avery had done, peeling it off from the bottom, which came off with surprising ease.
I set it down on the table next to me, working up the courage to speak. I had opened my mouth to speak, when Avery broke the silence first. “So. I guess you have a few questions.” He said with a small sigh, still standing. I said nothing, instead nodding and gingerly sitting on the edge of the couch next to me. “I don’t even know where to start..” He mumbled to himself, eyebrows knitting together as he started to pace.
Courage bubbled up, making its way to my throat. “How did you end up here?” I asked, making him look up, his face relaxing as if he was relieved to have somewhere solid to start his explanation.
“Well.. I broke a rule.” He said with a sigh. I said nothing, fully prepared to not speak until he was done. The thirst for information, for an explanation was too great. Luckily for me, Avery picked up on it, and he continued.
“It was the TV rule. The one where we can’t watch on the 14th of every month. I was such an idiot.” He said, shaking his head as he resumed his pacing. “I got- pulled through. It happened so fast. I was sitting on that couch actually.” He gestured to the one I was sitting on with a tight smile. “I turned it on, and it was just static. I realized then what I had done. Before I could fix my mistake, something was coming out of it, something solid. It grabbed my shirt and pulled me through, into the TV, where I landed here. I thought nothing had happened since I was still in my house.. until I realized that I wasn’t.” He said, his voice starting to get heavy. He paused, and he didn’t need to say any more.
It was perhaps a combination of sympathy or curiosity that was too overwhelming for me to stay quiet. “What is this place?” I asked quietly.
Avery gave out a small sigh, coming around to sit on a chair opposite to where I was sitting. “I don’t know what to call it. As you saw, it’s an exact replica of where we lived. I’ve explored, and every detail is exactly as it is in the real world, but with obvious differences.” He said before meeting my eyes. He seemed to know what question I wanted to ask next. “Ever wonder why we didn’t have jails?” He asked softly.
He didn’t wait for my answer. “I call them the Lost Ones. The people that get thrown in here, they lose themselves after a while. They turn into what you saw on the way here. Altered versions of themselves, no identity, no remnants of their past selves. They are hostile, angered, and are capable of much more than you could ever imagine “ I swallowed. “This is the jail that we never had up there. Made for the rule breakers and people who threatened their precious utopia. They get left here, left to waste away, to spend the rest of eternity here.” He said bitterly. “They are nightmares, beings of their worst possible selves that have no feelings, no nothing. They are fueled off of their worst qualities, and are trapped in their own heads. “ This time, it was Avery that swallowed.
“As far as I can tell, they don’t care who gets trapped here, even the people who break rules by accident, although the actual criminals they deliver personally down here.” He said with a sigh. The weight of the situation was pressing on me, so hard that I was having a hard time breathing. “Ther-there has to be a way out.. right?” I asked breathlessly. To my immense relief, Avery nodded.
“There is, but it takes two people. I can’t tell you how long I’ve been waiting for someone down here.” He said softly. I felt a pang of sympathy.
“How long have you been down here?” I asked, and he shrugged. “A couple months maybe? There’s no way to tell down here. I tried keeping track by writing on the walls, but they would disappear the next day.” He said with a sigh. “How do we get out of here?” I asked, my voice gaining confidence the longer I spent in his presence.
“The same way that they get the criminals in here. It’s at the center of the city, and looks like an archway. The door they use is password protected, but I’ve been watching whenever they bring someone new down here, and I know it. The only problem is, it seems to be a popular hangout spot for the people who are Lost.” He said heavily. “The masks that I had you put on are to blend in with them, but it only goes so far, and only really works when there’s a few of them around.” I didn’t want to ask HOW he managed to get those masks.
“There is a way to kill them, but they still outnumber me, which is why I needed a second person. You don’t need to eat or drink down here, but you can still get hurt.” He said, lifting his sleeve to reveal two long, deep gashes that were in the process of healing. I suppressed a shiver.
This new information spun around my head. I felt slightly sick. I knew then that I couldn’t stay here, I needed to get out. I couldn’t let myself become Lost.
“I’ll do it. Whatever it takes, I don’t care. I’ll help.” I said, breaking the silence, my voice confident. Avery looked up at me, with an expression I couldn’t place. It looked like newfound respect, like he was just noticing me for the first time. He studied me for a moment, before nodding. “I’ll keep you safe. I won’t let anything happen to you.”
I thought of making a smartass reply, but he seemed so genuine about it that I kept my mouth shut.
It was then, sitting there with no immediate danger nearby that I started to feel the weight of the day starting to press in around me. I tried to cover up a yawn with my hand, but Avery caught it. He stood up, running a hand through his hair. “Shit. Sorry, you must be exhausted, I wasn’t even thinking about that. I’ve been sleeping down here-“ He said gesturing to the empty space in the room. “- but I can make up a place to sleep upstairs if yo-“
“I don’t.” I interrupted suddenly, to which Avery raised his eyebrows. I felt a hot flush rising in my cheeks as I continued. “I mean if it’s- if it’s okay I’d feel more comfortable staying down here.” I said quietly, averting my eyes. There was a pause, which was enough time for me to feel greatly embarrassed by my words. He doesn’t want you down here, idiot, he doesn’t even know you. He doesn’t-
“Sure. If it makes you more comfortable, I’m more than happy to set up a space here for you.” He said finally, giving me a small smile. “I’ll be right back, holler if you need anything.” He said, turning to leave, before stopping, as if remembering something.
“Um- I never - I never got your name. Forgot to ask.” He said sheepishly, stumbling slightly over his words, and seemingly having a hard time meeting my eyes. My heart seemed to stop just as my mind started to race.
“Charles.” I said suddenly, the name and the lie slipping out easily.
I’m not sure if it was just my imagination, but did Avery look slightly crestfallen? It must have been, because the next second the look disappeared, and he gave me another small smile. “Pleasure to meet you, Charles.”
As soon as he left the room I slumped down on the couch, putting my head in my hands. Why had I lied? I knew the answer, it was really just a matter of wanting to answer it.
I could say that it was because I didn’t trust Avery, but that wasn’t the truth. There were so many different kinds of confusion, so many different kinds of pain. I was tired of being the one who felt it all. I was just tired in general.
It was disorienting, to have your entire life flipped upside down in a matter of moments. Everything that you thought you knew to be untrue, or covered with layers of deception to keep people in a mindless bliss. I supposed that even though people could feel certainty, it was an emotion. Not a fact. My thoughts kept me busy until Avery came back, arms laden with blankets and pillows.
He set them down in the empty space, starting to arrange them. “Do you need help?” I asked, wanting to feel at least a little useful. He shook his head as he straightened up. “I’m just about done. Is this enough? I can get more stuff if you want.” He said looking up at me, the genuine interest and caring in his eyes startling me. I shook my head, giving a tight smile. “It’s great, really. Thank you.” I said crossing over to where it was. It looked like two bedspreads, placed slightly far apart but still within the empty space. I chose the one on the right.
“I have to get some stuff ready for tomorrow, but I’ll just be in the next room. I’ll come to sleep in a while, just give me a call if you need anything, alright?” He said, and I nodded. Exhaustion was quickly catching up to me, and I tried to get myself comfortable on the spread of blankets and pillows. Just as Avery was about to leave the room, I spoke. “I don’t usually do it, but if I start snoring, I give you complete permission to smack me”. I said this quietly, but based on the way he stopped and turned back around, I knew Avery had heard me. “Noted.” He said, but there was something different about his voice. As I looked at him, I saw that he was smiling. Not a tight smile, or a small one, but an actual, genuine smile that made my entire body feel warm.
It was perhaps the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.
I had never been a lucid dreamer.
I’d heard about it, and even studied it a bit at school, so I knew how to recognize it. Lucid dreaming is a dream in which your body knows that you’re dreaming, and gives you the steering wheel for a bit, allowing you to be conscious and aware while dreaming.
I was currently experiencing this strange phenomenon.
I wasn’t entirely sure where I was. I knew I was dreaming however, since I was fairly confident that in order to be walking, you had to be walking on something solid. I appeared to be walking on water.
Looking around, everything was black. It looked like I was standing on a lake, but the water stretched on as far as I could see. The water rippled underneath my feet with every step I took, and looking down, I couldn’t see the bottom of whatever kind of water I was standing on. Just more darkness.
I wasn’t sure how long I stood there until I saw a figure in the distance. I squinted, waiting for it to come closer. When it got closer however, my body seized with panic.
It was the man from the convenience store, the one without a face. The one that Avery said was Lost. I turned to run, but I couldn’t. Dread and fear was washing over me as I desperately tried to get my feet to move. The man was getting closer. My feet seemed glued to the surface.
The screams I meant to yell died in my throat as I saw the man, now only a few feet from me, as my screams were silenced by the paralyzing fear that rendered me immobile. Instead of the muttering I had heard from him earlier, he was eerily silent. The only sound I could hear was my own heartbeat, hammering against my chest. Suddenly, the man’s face started to change.
Instead of a black oval, white lines started to from near the bottom, and after a few moments I realized that it was making a manic, demented smile. It came closer, it’s unnaturally long fingers closing on my shirt and pulling me closer.
Its other hand drew back, transforming into something that I couldn’t name, I couldn’t place, but looked very, very sharp. I only had a second to look at it before it plunged into my stomach, letting loose pain that I had never felt in my life, among the screams and yells I had been holding in my throat. It felt as if every fiber of my being, every atom, was being ripped apart.
My eyes were wide with shock as the smile remained on the man’s face. I couldn’t talk. I couldn’t breathe. Looking down, I saw a bloom of red starting to quickly spread throughout my shirt, so much more vibrant in contrast to the blank, colorless surroundings.
I woke up, gasping and shaking, a hand clutching my stomach as if the pain was real. It felt so real.
I felt arms close around me a moment later, pulling me against something hard. A chest. Avery’s arms, Avery’s chest. Holding me, keeping me safe.
I heard his voice, soft in my ear. “You’re okay. You’re okay.” He mumbled, holding me tighter. Every emotion I had been holding in since I got into this damned place, I let loose. Dry sobs racked my body as a flurry of fear, pain, and confusion along with others flooded me. “I-I saw him.” I said quietly, tears streaming down my face.
“I know. I know you did. It’s okay. You’re okay.” Avery said softly, pulling me tighter against him. I didn’t care. I didn’t care anymore. I let myself turn towards him, blankets twisted around me as I buried my face in his chest, letting my tears soak his shirt as he held me.
I can’t tell you how long he held me, with my face buried in his chest, with him not caring that his shirt was getting soaked, holding me tighter every time a fresh wave of emotions swept through me.
It felt like hours before the pain from my dream subsided, before my body was no longer shaking. It felt like hours, and during them, Avery had never let go of me.
It would have been okay, it would have even been mostly okay if one of us had just let go. If we didn’t stay there, holding a part of each other, long after the danger, no matter how real, had passed.
My thoughts had finally slowed. I had skipped the past two steps of the stages of grief. I had skipped the anger and bargaining. My body just didn’t have enough energy left to do it. The only thing I felt sitting there against Avery was safety, comfort. Two things that I hadn’t experienced since the moment I had arrived here. I could hear his heartbeat, a soothing, rhythmic sound that was more relaxing than I can explain.
Sitting there with him felt right. It was the feeling that I had never felt looking at the girls in my class, that I had never felt looking at any girl.
It felt like hours before I spoke again, my voice dull, like someone had run a knife over it. “Avery?” I asked softly.
“Yeah?”
“I never said thank you.”
“Thank you for what?” He asked, his voice soft against my ear.
“For saving me. I would have drowned.” I replied. I didn’t need to explain further for him to understand what I was talking about.
“You don’t have to thank me for that. I know if you saw me hurdling out of the sky into a river, you would have done the same.” He said, and this time, I could hear the smile in his voice.
I smiled a tired, but genuine smile. “True. I wanted to say thank you anyway.”
“Well then, you’re welcome anyway.”
I laughed, but it came off more of a huff. There really should be a word for a laugh that ends as soon as it starts.
I didn’t want to leave the position that we were in, but I wanted to spend more time with Avery somewhere where we weren’t in danger of becoming lost, or you know.. stabbed.
“Avery?” I asked again.
“Yes?”
“I want to go home.” I said quietly. There was a pause.
“Let’s go home then.”
What I assumed was the next few days were spent going over the plan, or what I assumed was a few days since- no time cycle. Avery drew up the city center, and where the Lost One congregated the most heavily. He gave and showed me how to use the weapons that could kill them.
“These are the weapons that I found near the door, the people that come down here have a stash. This is an ontological gun.” He said, handing me what looked like a regular handgun. He explained before I could ask. “I know it looks like a regular gun, because it is. The only difference is how you think about it. I don’t need to tell you that this place is weird, and that regular, logical rules don’t apply. If you shoot this at them, they simply cease to exist. They go away, but only if you believe it to be true.” At my confused expression, he tried again.
“It sounds really, really stupid, but it works. If you believe that you can make them cease to exist by shooting this at them, it’ll work.” His navy eyes pressed into mine, silently pleading for me to trust him. I did. Nodding, I took it from him. I didn’t know how the hell this was supposed to work, but I trusted him.
Something had happened after my dream, after we had stayed interlocked for who knows how long. Something unspoken. He no longer felt like a stranger, or just a person who shared the same name that was on my Slip. It felt like I had known him my whole life. Along with planning and preparing, Avery had opened up greatly, letting me see more into his life, both past and present. It was comforting, knowing that we were both more comfortable conversing with each other, often teasing and cracking jokes, something that seemed impossible while we were stuck in this hell hole. I let myself notice things about him, how his mouth twisted to the side when he was deciding to laugh at something, how when he smiled, you could see that he had dimples, or when he was thinking about something, he tapped his fingers lightly against a surface. Being around him just filled me with such warmth, that it made it harder when I tried to work out how I was going to tell him that I lied about my name. I tried not to think about it.
The night before we were going to put our plan in action, neither of us could sleep. At first, it was disorienting going to sleep without any sleep/wake cycle, but I got used to it, just going to bed whenever I felt tired. I lay next to Avery, who I could tell wasn’t asleep either.
“Avery?”
“Charles?” He replied, to which I internally cringed.
“Are you nervous?” I asked quietly. There was a pause.
“A bit. Do you want to push it another day to go over it again?” He said finally, to which I shook my head, sitting up slightly to look at him. “No, I just would feel a bit more comfortable if I knew how the guns worked.” I said, a small smile tugging on my lips. Avery rolled his eyes. “If you had played Destiny, I wouldn’t have to explain. It’s pure theory, and I don’t know how they developed it, but it works.”
“All right nerd, I trust you.” I said sitting back, grinning as a pillow hit me in the chest. I paused, looking over at him. “I don’t know about you, but I’m gonna get the hell away from this city as soon as I can when we get out. I’ve had enough of this nonsense for a lifetime.” I said, watching as Avery propped himself up on his elbows. “Me too. I’ll keep in touch with my parents and everything but.. it’s been ruined. The image I had of the place I grew up in has just been completely ruined. I don’t think I can stay here and be happy.” He said, and I nodded. “At least we got our Slips first.” I joked, but to my surprise, Avery blushed, looking down at the ground.
“I dunno, I think- I think it’s a bit of bullshit. I used to think it was real but now.. I mean-“ He said, tripping over his words, still avoiding my eyes. “They can’t control chemistry, they can’t control you feel safe, and- and comfortable around..” He said, his voice getting quieter. It was so out of character that I couldn’t find my own voice to speak. Was he saying what I thought he was saying?
Avery shook his head, as if to shake off these thoughts. “I’m not making sense. We should probably get to bed, big day and all that.” He mumbled, laying back down. I nodded, laying down as well, closing my eyes, my mind racing.
Someone was shaking me awake.
I reluctantly opened my eyes, where I could see Avery shaking my shoulder gently, stopping when he saw I was awake, and giving me a small smile. “Morning. We should get going, this is the most ideal time if we want to do this today”. I nodded, pushing myself up. We spent the next little while getting ready, neither of us mentioning the conversation we had yesterday. I had gotten used to being in the house, and in a weird way, I was going to miss it. I was going to miss a lot of things.
When we were both armed with the weird guns, and had our masks on, we set off for the center of the city. It was time to get the fuck out of here.
We avoided entire streets whenever we saw a Lost One, not wanting to create any unnecessary attention. After a while of walking, I saw what Avery was talking about. The city center was where we had our summer farmer’s market, events, and concerts. It looked the same, the only difference being the short archway with a stark red door. It caught me off guard, since the only things in color that I had seen were Avery and I, but the door was blood red, and next to it, a keypad. The archway was a good ways away from where we were, and already I saw Lost Ones milling around, the same, unclear mumbling filling the silence. “Remember. We’re going to try to get as far as we can without the guns, but if they notice us, then start shooting.” Avery mumbled into my ear. I nodded.
I could hear my heart pounding in my ears as we started to walk. We kept our heads straight, only focused on the door in front of us. As we walked a few meters, we realized that we greatly overestimated the amount of time we had before they noticed us.
It was just like in my dream, their black faces starting to develop white lines. I didn’t want to wait to see if they turned into the demented, troubled smiles. I pulled out the gun Avery had given to me, praying to whatever higher power there was to let this work. I concentrated, imagining the one directly in front of me disappearing when the bullet made contact. It was advancing, and I could already hear the loud cracks of Avery’s gun behind me.
It was running now, full speed at me, its mumbling getting louder. I raised the gun, my heart pounding. A few feet away, it’s mouth stretching into a wide grin.
“CHARLES!”
I fired, my eyes closing for a split second.
I braced myself for the pain I knew was coming, but none came. Opening my eyes, there was nothing but a scattering of dust at my feet. Relief flooded through me as I could have laughed. It worked, it worked, it worked.
Looking around, they were coming in from behind buildings, out of windows. Filled with renewed hope and confidence, I started firing rounds off, truly believing with each shot. Adrenaline was rushing through me as the cracks of our guns filled the heavy silence, only being outmatched by the progressively louder mumbling made by advancing Lost Ones.
It was tight, but Avery was right. With the two of us, we were overpowering them, dust going up every few seconds. It felt oddly like a video game, wave after wave coming until eventually they stopped, and there were only a few left. I had just reached my peak of confidence when I heard a scream.
Turning around, my heart stopped in my chest. Avery was being dragged by the foot, a Lost One’s long, sharp fingers digging into his ankle, his gun laying a few feet away. I didn’t have time to think or react, sprinting towards them as I pointed my gun, hoping desperately I wouldn’t hit him.
I wouldn’t be able to aim properly while running. I stopped, trying to level the gun, trying to stop my hand from shaking. I took a breath, and fired.
The cloud of dust that replaced the thin, black body was probably the most beautiful thing I had seen in my life.
I sprinted over, where Avery was wincing horribly as he tried to turn himself around. Avery heard me coming, and when he looked up, he wasn’t looking at me. “No, no no. Charles- Charles BEHIND YOU!” He yelled, the panic clear in his voice.
Stopping and turning around, my heart seemed to stop for the second time. It was the man from the convenience store. The one from my dream. It looked like he was the only one left. You can do this. I thought to myself. I raised my gun, firing at him, right in the chest. The bullet passed through like an ordinary bullet.
Panic was rapidly flowing through me now as the man came closer. I tried to move, but my feet felt glued to the ground. Oh no. No no no. Not again.
I could hear Avery behind me calling my name.
The man was slowly advancing, knowing that I wasn’t going anywhere. The white lines appeared on his face. My voice felt stuck in my throat. His arm was pulling back, turning into the- the thing from my dream. Avery’s calls got louder.
The man was a few feet away. Grabbing the front of my shirt, the white lines transformed into a smile. The corner’s of its mouth stretched wide, to either corner of its face as drawn on teeth appeared. I knew what was going to happen next.
The pain was unbearable. I was certain I was being ripped apart, being set on fire from the very depths of my body. White hot pain clouded my vision, so badly that I didn’t even notice when it was over. I didn’t notice the puff of dust appear in front of me, the loud crack that went with it. I didn’t feel it when I sank to my knees, feeling something hot, and wet spread throughout my shirt.
It took me a minute to notice the hands, grabbing at my shoulders, tipping me back. It took me a minute to notice the tears, slipping down Avery’s face as he bent over me. “No no no, no. Charles, Charles please. Stay with me, p-please.” Avery whispered, silent sobs racking his chest as he started to rip at the bottom of his shirt, pulling away a piece of fabric to press on my stomach, his other arm cradling my head. “I can’t- I can’t lose you Charles.” He whispered, his shoulders shaking.
“That’s not-“ I whispered. Avery’s eyes flashed to mine briefly as he started to rip off another piece of fabric. “What?”
“My name- It’s not. It’s not Charles.” I said softly.
“What are you talking about?” He asked, tears streaming silently down his face as he desperately tried to control the bleeding.
“I-I lied. My name is T-Theodore. I wanted you to like me f-for who I was. Not because my name might have been on your Slip.” I whispered. Exhaustion and coldness starting to seep into my body.
I saw realization pass through Avery’s eyes, saw him putting the pieces together.
“You- I- I don’t care. Please. I can’t lose you. We’ll get you back to the house. We’ll patch you up, just please, please don’t go.” He said, his voice breaking on the last sentence. “You’ve come too far. The door is right there and more Lost Ones will be back. Just go.” I said softly.
“Fuck that. I’m not leaving you here.” He said sharply, looking over me, seeming to make a decision. He slid his arms under me, lifting me up and holding me like a little kid, being careful not to touch my stomach, where the red stain was getting progressively wetter. He carried me over to the keypad, his hand shaking as he put in the numbers. “Ready?” He asked softly. I didn’t have the energy to do anything but nod. He put in the last number, and the door swung open. I winced as white light flooded my vision, and as I felt Avery step through. My eyes closed as warmth spread through me, and I let myself drift out of consciousness.
I could hear footsteps around me, people talking in low voices. My eyelids fluttered open.
“Ah, Mr Shillings. We’ve been expecting you.”