I live in a small village in England, growing up in a large group filled with my mother and her “mothers group” friends. My mother joined it when she was sixteen, a teenager having a baby as of my fathers abuse towards her. My father was in his twenties and known as the local pedophile, mercilessly leading young girls into alleyways to do god knows what, most sane girls knew not to go near him or believe a word he said. If it wasn’t for my mothers group, I probably would be dead already. They provided strollers, baby food and everything that would give me a stable childhood to look back on with joy. The mothers group consisted of four leaders and nine members including my mum, thirteen people. The four leaders were, Sally, Pauline, Amanda and Beatrice. All being slightly larger women who have had many children, all whom attend the group. Every Wednesday I go to the hall to meet up with the other kids, we would play trucks and family games while our mothers went into a separate room that they would often lock. We were all told that we would definitely find out what was inside it when we got older, this made many kids excited and rumours spread around.
“There could be ice creams in there that they are hiding!” My friend Ruby would say as she tried to fit her eye into the keyhole.
“No Ruby, let’s leave.” I would say, dragging her back into our area to play swords.
I always used to notice a pattern with our mothers every time they left that room, they would come out stone faced yet as soon as their child noticed them, they would start smiling again. The children in our group weighed out the mothers, six in the blue group, six in the red group and six in the yellow group, me and Ruby were in the yellow group. We had little coloured mats that would show us our designated area, we would need permission to enter another area before we went into it. Our favourite time of the Wednesday was our group dinner time, we all sat up a long clear glass table and enjoyed various meals like Pizza Hut, McDonalds, and other home cooked meals that still tasted amazing.
Things always seemed off about this group though, I’ll explain.
I remember one time when I was ten, I looked down at the dinner table in our small house, obviously provided by the Mothers group and saw a letter with “10 years” on it, the envelope was red, blue and yellow so I assumed it was from the group. When my mother saw me eyeing it, she snatched it up and smiled at me before going into her room. I didn’t say anything about it though, if you don’t ask questions it’s no longer a problem.
Later that night I went to my Wednesday meeting alone, my mum came down with an illness and dropped me off before smiling at the group and leaving. The night was normal again, the women coming out stone faced, a kid turning around and shouting “mummy!” And they would instantly smile again. Later when I got home, I turned on the news and a death report of the pedo guy I would never call my father was on the screen. It didn’t bother me though as I never really knew him.
That was always the running trend with the group, they had no husbands, single mothers. If they did, they would divorce quite quickly, kids not knowing anything other than ‘daddy just left.’ It was a happy life in the group though.
One night when I was twelve, I started to wonder what the mothers expressions would be if nobody noticed them come out of the room, would they be happy, would they be sad. That Wednesday, we talked about it and a kid called Jhonny from the red group said that he wouldn’t turn around to his mum, wanting to see her expression. So as normal, we all noticed our mothers expect from him. His mothers face never changed, just giving a look to the leaders.
The next Wednesday, he didn’t show up, it was just his mother and in her hands was a pregnancy test, positive. The leaders would approve and walk away.
Five in the red group! Wait no, six? There were six members in the red group still, and why did I know his name? Where did Jhonny go?
I asked Ruby, “where did the little boy called Jhonny go?” “Who’s Jhonny?” She asked, leaving me in shock. “The boy who didn’t look at his mother last week.” I panicked. “I don’t know any Johnny’s.” She said smiling at me.
This continued as I got older, some kid being too occupied to look at their mother and disappearing without a trace, I would always ask other kids if they remembered them, but it was only me. I didn’t tell anyone, fearing that the same may happen to me up until I was sixteen.
Me and the other group of children had gotten too old to want to play with toys anymore, most of us texting on our phones while adults discussed in the room that we still hadn’t seen.
We would look up at our mothers when they left the room, smiling as they smiled back.
“Children! I believe you are all ready.” Sally exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air.
Some kids jumped up in happiness and others just smiled as we all stood up and walked towards the room we had never been in before.
It was a dark room with a long oak table with chairs around it in the middle and thousands of books with names on them. We all sat at the table in the middle while the four leaders took their spots at the head of the table.
The leaders explained that this was their debating room, where they debated meals and decisions for us all to keep a happy and sustained life. For some reason, unlike any of the other kids I didn’t buy a single word of it.
I examined the book shelves lined with books, “Jhonny Moore”, “Silvia Silkins”, “Thomas Langford” all names I recognised. They went missing.
I sneakily put my chair backwards and picked up a book, it was Johnny’s.
The first few pages were positive attributes about him and how well he was progressing, I flipped through the pages silently until I got to the last one.
“Little boy refused to look up at his mother, disrespectful. Disposed of.” The book read on the last page.
I slipped it back in the shelf with horror and moved my chair back forward. I raised my hand.
“Yes?” Pauline asked.
“May I talk to you all after the meeting alone.” I smiled as they all nodded.
The meeting ended as all the children left except me, shutting the door behind them.
“Where have all the missing children gone?” I say, smile fading off of my face.
The once happy expressions on their face soon turned down, stone faced like they had been all those years, I matched them.
“Jhonny, Thomas, Silvia, Rosie, Layla, Jax, where did they all go?” I said, crossing my arms and laying back.
The women looked at each-other before coming to a non-verbal agreement.
“Gone.”