Hey everyone,
I don’t know if anyone is out there listening, but I just needed to get this out there. I received a diagnosis from my doctors today, and it’s not good news. They’ve diagnosed me with leukemia and are urging me to start chemotherapy right away. But I’m not going to do it.
I’ve been thinking about the meaning behind the word leukemia - it means white blood. And I can’t shake the feeling that there’s something more to this than just a medical condition. Maybe it’s the way my mind works, but I can’t help but feel like there’s something more going on here.
Anyway, I want to tell you a story from my childhood. It’s not easy for me to talk about, but it’s important for you to understand why I’m making this decision. So, here it goes.
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As a child, I was always a bit different. I didn’t have many friends, and the ones I did have were often more like acquaintances. I was bullied and teased constantly, but I never really knew why. Looking back now, I think it might have been because of my undiagnosed Tourettes syndrome. I would twitch and make strange noises involuntarily, which made me an easy target for bullies.
Because of all the bullying, I spent most of my time alone. I found solace in books and spent countless hours lost in fictional worlds. But when I wasn’t reading, I was exploring the forest behind my parents’ house. The forest was my refuge, my escape from the real world. It was a place where I could be myself without fear of judgment or ridicule. And that’s where I met her.
I remember that night in the woods like it was yesterday. I had been playing by myself, lost in my own world, as usual. It was after sunset, and I should have headed back home, but I was always drawn to the woods, especially at night when everything was quiet and still.
That’s when I saw her. A small girl, around my age, with pale hair and skin that seemed to glow in the moonlight. She was dressed in a shabby dress, and her hair was long and unkempt. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but there was something ineffably off about her appearance that made me feel uneasy.
We started to play together, and for the first time in my life, I didn’t feel alone. We laughed and ran around the woods, playing hide and seek, and telling each other stories. It was like I had found a kindred spirit.
Eventually, we exchanged names. I offered mine, but when it came time for her to give hers, she hesitated for a moment before letting me guess. I got it on my first try, and she seemed giddy with excitement in a way that unnerved me.
Before we parted ways that night, we made plans to meet up again the next day. As I made my way back home, I couldn’t help but wonder who she was and where she came from. But I knew that I wanted to see her again.
After that first meeting, we became regular and frequent playmates.
I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off about the girl however. She seemed to have a morbid fascination with death and would frequently bring up dark topics in their conversations. One day, while exploring the woods together, she pointed out a rotting animal carcass and gleefully exclaimed, “Isn’t it beautiful? It’s nature’s way of recycling!” I shuddered and took a step back, feeling increasingly uneasy.
Despite my growing discomfort, I continued to meet up with her in the woods every day after school. My parents were happy that I had finally made a friend and never asked too many questions. But the more time I spent with her, the more I felt like something was seriously wrong.
One day, while we were playing a game of hide and seek, I found her crouched behind a bush, whispering to herself. When she noticed me, she stood up and started laughing hysterically. “You found me! You found me! But do you know what I was doing?” She then proceeded to recite what sounded like a made-up language in a singsong voice, with wild gesticulations and a look of wild-eyed intensity. I was frozen with fear, and could only nod dumbly when she asked me if I wanted to learn how to do it too.
After that incident, I started to make excuses to avoid meeting her in the woods. But every time I tried to back out, she would beg and plead with me, promising to show me something amazing the next day. I was trapped, and didn’t know how to break free from her.
Looking back on it now, it seems crazy that I spent so much time with her despite my growing unease. But at the time, I didn’t have any other friends, and she seemed to enjoy spending time with me. We would run around the forest, play games, and tell each other stories. It was like we were living in our own little world.
But as we got older, things started to change. She became even more obsessed with death and the macabre, and her behavior became more erratic. I remember one time when she insisted we bury a dead bird she had found in the woods, and then proceeded to have a funeral for it. It was creepy, but I didn’t know how to say no to her.
Looking back on it, I realize how much I should have trusted my instincts. But at the time, I was just a lonely kid desperate for a friend. And she seemed to need me just as much as I needed her.
When I started high school at 14, it felt like a whole new world. Suddenly, I had a group of friends who I could hang out with during lunch and after school. I was distracted by all the new experiences and excitement, and I slowly started to see the strange girl in the forest less and less. Life felt normal again, like waking from a dream.
It had been around four weeks since I last saw her, when she showed up at my window during a thunderstorm. The heavy rain made it almost impossible to hear her knocking, but her grin was unmistakable. I invited her in, and she practically bounced into my room, looking around excitedly and touching every item.
It was only then that I noticed some things about her appearance that I had never thought about before. Her teeth were sharp, almost like a predator’s, and her very dark eyes were solid black, without visible irises or sclerae. The tips of her ears, which were always hidden under her hair, appeared pointed. I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off about her.
She asked where I had been and why I hadn’t come to see her in the woods more regularly. I hesitantly agreed to make more of an effort to meet up with her. But as she left my room and disappeared into the stormy night, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t right about her or our strange, secretive meetings in the woods.
During the next year, I was living a kind of double life. On one hand, I had my friends from school, and on the other hand, I had these strange meetings with the girl in the woods that I found gradually more and more unsettling.
I started to notice that every time I met with her, she had more and more strange behaviors and quirks. She would talk about things that made no sense, and her ideas seemed completely foreign to me. She would also make strange noises, almost like growling, that I couldn’t understand. I was worried about her, but I didn’t know how to help her.
I started to realize that there was something wrong with her, something that was beyond my ability to understand or help. I started to feel like I was in over my head, and that I needed to distance myself from her.
But at the same time, I couldn’t stop thinking about her, and I kept finding myself drawn back to the woods to meet with her again. It was like a strange addiction, and I couldn’t break free from it.
At age 15, I was headed for a Halloween party with my friends when I saw her. She appeared out of nowhere, looking just as pale and otherworldly as always. My friends were terrified, believing she was wearing some kind of costume. But I knew better.
As I followed her deep into the woods, I could feel my heart racing. We arrived at an ancient hollowed-out tree, and she asked me to reach inside. I did, feeling a sharp sting on my hand. I pulled it out to see a bleeding cut, and she did the same, only her cut bled white.
She grinned, showing off her abnormally sharp teeth, and then did something that chilled me to my very core. She pulled our hands together so that the blood intermingled, and asked me to swear that we would always be together.
I was terrified, but I didn’t know how to say no. I swore, and then she disappeared into the woods with an excited howl.
I went back to my house, still shaking with fear. I locked myself in the basement, hoping that she wouldn’t be able to find me.
I spent the next few years avoiding the woods and keeping to myself in the basement. I knew that I was being watched, and sometimes I would catch glimpses of a figure standing at the edge of the trees. But I never saw the girl again.
Even though I had locked myself away, I couldn’t shake the feeling that she was still somehow able to reach me. I would wake up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat, convinced that I had heard her voice whispering my name.
As time passed, the fear and paranoia began to fade, and I started to think that maybe it had all just been a vivid nightmare. But I could never bring myself to venture into those woods again, and the memory of that strange girl with the black eyes and pointed ears stayed with me for years to come.
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As the sun sets and darkness envelops the forest, I sit in my car, parked at the edge of the woods. My heart is racing and I’m struggling to steady my breathing. I’m back in my hometown, facing the thing that I believe caused my leukemia - the strange girl with white blood.
I don’t know what she is, but I know that she’s not human. Her teeth, her eyes, her pointed ears, her strange behavior - it all adds up to something that’s beyond my understanding.
I don’t expect to come back from this. I know that confronting her is dangerous, but I need to know the truth. I need to know why she did this to me, and if there’s any way to stop her from hurting anyone else.
As I sit here, I can feel her presence all around me. It’s as if the trees themselves are watching me, waiting for me to make my move. I know that I can’t stay here forever, but I also can’t bring myself to face her just yet.
For now, I sit in my car, typing out this post on my phone. It’s my way of saying goodbye to the world, just in case things don’t go well. But I’m determined to see this through, no matter the cost.
I take a deep breath and steel myself for what’s to come. It’s time to face the girl in the woods, and whatever else may be waiting for me there.