I’m not proud of it, but I’m only human and as much as some people don’t want to admit it, lust is simply part of the human condition. I don’t think it’s the best part (at least not for me) but it is part of it.
I’m generally a pretty easy going guy. I have my needs and I take care of them the same way that anyone else does. I find some porn and I jack off. But sometimes, that’s just not enough. Sometimes I need more.
Hooking up was never really for me. I don’t judge other people for it, but the fantasy was always more exciting than the reality turned out to be. In my fantasies, I’d meet some handsome and charismatic guy and we’d spend some time together, talking over coffee before going back to one of our places where he’d press me against his door, kissing me as he stripped my clothes off, and fucked me right there in his living room.
We’d spend the night alternating between cuddling, talking and fucking. Then after that perfect night we’d part ways, and I’d never forget the time we’d shared together. Instead - I got a choice between some seedy looking guy in his 40s on Grindr asking me some questions so disgusting that I can’t bring myself to repeat them, and a somewhat squirrelly closeted guy who I ended up fucking out of desperation before quietly blocking and praying we never saw each other again.
Needless to say, my experiences with hooking up were not good.
But sometimes when the need struck me I just couldn’t fight it off and I found myself downloading Grindr again, hoping that this time I’d find the man who would make it worth it. And when I started talking to Alex, I thought that maybe I’d finally met him.
Alex was… well, he was nice. He was friendly, funny, he wasn’t pushy or crass. He was just charming. He’d messaged me first, and while I’d initially been a little suspicious of the handsome man in his profile picture, it didn’t take that long before I’d decided that he just had to be genuine.
We’d met up for coffee and it was… well…
It was everything I’d hoped it would be.
Alex felt like he’d walked out of one of my fantasies. We seemed to be interested in the same things, and we talked at length about our favorite movies. He told me a little bit about his pet cat and even showed me some pictures. It was wonderful! As our afternoon went on, I kept anxiously waiting for the moment he suggested we get out of there and when it came, my heart skipped a beat.
“Wanna head back to my place for a bit?” He asked, and I had to stop myself from nodding enthusiastically. I just put on a polite smile like a civilized person and said:
“I’d like that a lot.”
I caught him smiling back at me before he stood up, and I followed him out of the coffee shop.
A taxi was waiting for us nearby and I never thought about just how convenient it was that one just happened to be there when we got out. I was too busy daydreaming about what would happen when we got back to his place.
Oh, it would be just like my fantasies… it would be perfect. I couldn’t wait to feel Alex’s arms around me, his lips pressed against mine, his hands delicately stripping the clothes off of my body. I couldn’t wait to hear his gentle gasps of pleasure as we explored each others bodies. It would be everything I’d wanted.
It would be heaven.
I felt his hands on me as soon as we got into the back of the taxi, and he moved closer to me, kissing me for the first time that night.
It was…
It was…
It was quite gross, actually.
He pressed his tongue forcefully into my mouth, and it was both unusually cold and unusually wet. There was a strange taste to him too, a somewhat sickly sweet sliminess that made me gag a little and I felt myself pulling away from him.
“Everything okay, baby?” He asked, in that same buttery smooth voice he’d been seducing me with through the course of the afternoon.
“Y-yeah, I’m fine,” I lied although my stomach was now churning and it took everything I had not to retch. I could still taste his revolting tongue in my mouth.
“Good… let’s get back too it,” He crooned, leaning in to kiss me again although this time I stopped him.
“Let’s… let’s not move too fast,” I said. “Do you mind if I freshen up a bit first?’
I tried to be nice. Tried to save face, but he didn’t seem to care about saving face at the moment. He just kept trying to lean in for a kiss, and no matter how much I tried to pull away from him he just didn’t seem to want to let go.
“Stop!” I finally said. “Will you just… STOP!”
Every hope I’d had for this hookup went right out the window as I demanded that he back off. I wasn’t going to let this creep force his tongue down my throat! No thank you!
“Just, let me off here!” I said to the cab driver.
The driver looked back at me, quietly acknowledging me. But he didn’t say a word.
“What’s wrong?” Alex asked playfully.
“You kiss like a golden retriever!” I snapped, “And stop being so pushy! What the hell is wrong with you!”
Alex just laughed.
“You really want to know, baby?” He asked.
He didn’t wait for me to answer before his head suddenly split apart, blossoming like a twisted meat flower and revealing a velvety pink interior with one long, pale tongue lolling out of it.
I stared at the horrible visage in front of me, first confused and then horrified as the impossible truth of what I was looking at began to dawn on me.
I started screaming as Alex lunged for me again, grabbing me by the shoulders as he tried to force that vile tongue of his down my throat once again. I grabbed the wet, slimy tongue to keep it from entering my mouth as the ‘petals’ of his skull pulsated, almost eagerly as they reached for me, threatening to swallow me whole. I could hear his wet, sloppy breaths as he forced himself on top of me, and I looked over toward the cab driver, desperate for help. They had to see what was happening here! They HAD to see it! And yet they just kept driving, oblivious to what was going on. Even when I called out to them, screaming in terror, they ignored me. They had to know what was happening… they had to know.
They just chose not to help.
Alex was almost bearing down on top of me, getting closer and closer. His strength was overwhelming. He was going to kill me. I knew it. I tried to think of some way out of this. Anything!
My head pressed against the door of the cab and that was when the closest thing I had to an idea came to me. I reached for the door, popping the lock and grabbing the handle. The door swung open behind me.
I could feel the rush of wind past me as the door opened. Alex pushed toward me again and this time I let him come, let him lunge for me. I kicked him off of me as he did, sending him off balance just enough for him to push himself out of the open car door.
I heard a thud as his body landed on the road and looked to see him on the ground. His head had closed up. The handsome face I’d fallen for was staring at me with wide, confused eyes as a pair of headlights shone brightly behind him. He looked back toward the oncoming car and then…
I heard the squeal of the brakes and the thud of the car hitting something. I saw movement, but I didn’t see how bad the damage was. Panting heavily, I looked up at the taxi driver who’d finally decided to acknowledge me. His eyes were narrowed in a quiet rage. He looked furious as if I’d just ruined something for him.
I stared back at him, knowing that if I didn’t run he was going to kill me just like Alex would have. Hell, for all I knew he could’ve been the exact same thing as Alex!
I didn’t want to find out.
The cab door was still open.
So I threw myself out.
I hit the asphalt hard, rolling along it for a moment before forcing myself to stand and scrambling over toward the sidewalk. A passing car clipped me, knocking me down again a moment before I reached safety, but it didn’t hurt that much. The adrenaline kept me running. I pushed past the gawking onlookers on the sidewalk, my heart pounding in my ears as I started running, leaving the cab behind.
I didn’t look back.
I deleted Grindr from my phone when I got home. I don’t think I’ll be hooking up again any time soon.