Everyone loves the idea of travelling carnivals—the dazzling carnival lights flashing up the night sky, lighting the darkness and replacing the evening sun. The jolly festive music, entwined with adults screaming louder than their children.
Laughter rings out as kids beg for cotton candy and excitedly clutch their newly won goldfish. Long black boots protecting everyone from the gritty war against wet socks. Dogs rolling around in the mud, getting so dirty that their fur is a different colour from which they arrived.
My dog is one of them; she loves everything to do with the festive carnivals. Some dogs hate the loud bangs of fireworks and cower behind their owners. In contrast, others love to watch the colourful display of seductive lights that make everyone stop and gaze up into the twilight sky.
My dog Elle, a golden retriever puppy no bigger than my arm. She’s only five months old and currently being showered by a group of toddlers whose parents saw her as a free babysitter.
A loud bang turned my head towards the direction of the sky as a wide array of colours exploded in front of me, displaying patterns in the air that forced my attention towards it. My hyper pup Elle yanking on her leash, her little body propelled back as she attempts to scramble after anything that moves, but the lead prevents her from going off on her own little adventure. I hold on tightly to the lead and wrap it around my hand to keep her close. Eventually, she stopped pulling, and I felt the lead lighten.
My eyes were stuck gazing at the fireworks, but something felt off. I was missing something obvious, but I quite couldn’t grasp it. It’s like when you leave your phone at home and haven’t realised it yet. You know something is inherently wrong, but can’t quite figure out what. I stared at the fireworks, yet my mind was someplace else. I’m trying to figure out why my levels of dread have risen higher than some of the rollercoasters that soar through the sky. I anxiously looked around, the crowd so thick it was almost suffocating. I didn’t want Elle to get hurt, so I bent down to pick her up, but when I looked at her, all I saw was a barren collar where my dog was no longer.
I stared at the barren collar, my brain taking too long to comprehend what had changed. Where did she go? She was just here a second ago, but now she’s gone. I started to feel disoriented, my sense of dread rapidly rising in my chest. I felt like a boulder was being pressed onto my lungs as I stared at the lead that was supposed to keep my dog safe.
I frantically searched the masses, calling her name, asking if anyone had seen where she went. I asked the toddlers and their parents if they had seen anything, but no one had seen where my golden puppy had gone. I raced through the fairgrounds, shouting, praying she’d reappear by my side with whatever took her attention away. However, Elle was nowhere to be found.
I pushed through the ever-tightening crowd, and more and more people enclosed me, obstructing my vision of the ever-filling carnival. Several clowns with broad grins and crimson paint covering half their faces tormenting me, laughing their maniacal giggles and gazing at me through those heartless, sinister stares.
One stepped in front of me, his mimic motion blocking my path and pushing me towards a carnival maze. I tried to shove past him, but he just shook his head and pointed his gloved hand towards the labyrinth. He was pointing towards the looming mouth of the maze, gaping open like a giant grotesque jack-o-lantern. Demonic shadows danced behind the fang-like rotting beams that stood straight at the entrance. Shredded transparent white tent flaps blow eerily in the wind. Through the blowing curtains that block the doorway, I could see a small golden tail disappear into the dark vacuum.
I thanked the clown who helped me, but as I looked back, he disappeared into the masses’ abyss. I thought it was just a simple maze with no frills and fake scares. I assumed the worker didn’t talk to me because he wasn’t allowed to because of some rules. Like Disney Land, they must always stay in character no matter what happens. I crossed the threshold into the black abyss of the maze; the darkness swallowed me whole, instantly extinguishing any glimpse of light.
I look around the inky darkness; all I see is a void of nothing blinding my vision. I call out for Elle, but my voice doesn’t get carried far and seemingly stops right before me. I strain my eyes to see through the vacuum that sucked all the light away, my heart hammering against my chest like it’s about to explode. I kept calling out, begging to leave this endless void and return to the light, but it never came.
I collapsed onto the cold ground, tears streaming down my cheeks. I push my knees into my chest and just lay down in this eternal hell. My never-ending nightmare forced my perception to yield and causes my endless torments taken from your fantasy to penetrate your senses and make them real.
I could sense a gathering of nameless monstrosities dancing out of my view. Abominable shadows whisper my name and reach out to seize my soul. I lay frozen, awaiting whatever otherworldly summons was soon to come and try to take my essence away from me.
From the silence, I hear the same mechanical laughter of the clowns that have taken my life away, echoing from all directions. I can hear the whispers piercing my ear and squirming into my brain. How can I escape the grotesque horrors that are inside me?
I hear mud squelching under a constant reign of light footsteps through the silence. I scramble to my feet, adrenaline coursing through my veins, bracing myself for an impending attack. Fist tensed, legs strong, ready to kick and punch in a wild frenzy of rage. I can sense the silhouette getting closer to me; I’m prepared to lash out until I hear a small yelp coming from the same direction.
I stood paralysed with fear; the footsteps had ceased, and all I could hear was my own jagged breath. Heart pounding, I slowly extended my trembling hand into the impenetrable emptiness. Reaching towards the invisible figure, I eventually touched soft fur, feeling the hair stoke between my quivering fingers. I hear panting from the creature I’m stroking; a wet lick practically devoured my fingers.
I cried out Elle’s name, stroking her damp fur. I could hear her panting before me. I imagined her tongue sticking out and tail wagging as I gave her my love.
She suddenly turns and starts running in the opposite direction. I cry out her name and follow the sound of her footsteps through the dark. That’s when I realised I didn’t know how to escape. No matter which direction I looked, all I saw was the infinite darkness.
Elle’s footsteps were increasingly getting quieter and quieter, as she never stops, and I had to catch up. I saw a slight glimpse of light shimming in the darkness ahead. Surely, it has to be the way out, right?
With each step, the ray of light grew brighter and brighter as my hope grew larger with it; sprinting in the forever darkness, the shadows that haunt me can see the light, too. All the nameless horrors my imagination conjured up are racing me to the light. I increased my speed; a small trip could send me flying, a slight mistake could mean my death. Even just slowing down slightly could mean the end of my life.
I made one final effort and exploded towards my last hope, yearning for my beautiful dog. I dived towards the door and burst through, practically demolishing it off its hinges. I fell forward and banged my head onto the floor. Dazed, the light I so desperately missed had returned but blurry from my injury. I felt the floor and could feel a sticky substance that covered the floor and now my hands. At first, I was perplexed; I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. My fantasy had fully taken over my perception. Still, the longer I lay on the floor, hearing a constant dripping sound behind me, I slowly realised I knew where I was. It was my living room floor.
Eventually, my eyes focused; the walls were all covered in letters, dripping in blood-red paint. HA. Encircling me everywhere, Even closing my eyes, I couldn’t escape it. I saw blood spatter onto the wall from an unknown source. I glanced up to find it and found the most gut-wrenching sight.
My dog, my sweet, beautiful girl. She was hung by her neck like a pinata by a multicoloured rope. Natkins tied together, creating a noose. Her stomach was ripped open, and sweets were filling the insides. She was hung on the ceiling fan that was on and swinging her around and around like some challenge.
I couldn’t react; I couldn’t move or scream or cry. I just stared at her, shock taking over my body. Above her on the ceiling was the most horrific of messages. Some otherworldly demon that was tall enough to stretch to the ceiling and write this grotesque message. I message that, to this day, is still engraved eternally into my mind. A message that torments me still in my nightmares and in my eyesight.
“Clowns can lick too”