There’s no point playing this off like a message for help since no one will believe it. I’ve run through fifty, maybe a hundred, drafts and at this rate I’ll die from dehydration if I keep doing nothing. You’ve read the title, thankfully I’m still on the internet, so maybe it’ll be enough to serve as a warning. Here goes.
After University on a Thursday night, I entered my apartment, locked the door, and burned through homework til I went out cold on my desk. The following morning I woke to find a gaping abyss past my door and very nearly stumbled into it, legs flailing under me but heels catching somewhere between carpet and black. I can’t really tell you why, though for a time I sat down and stared into this oblivion. After a while I realized it, for lack of a better word, ‘ate’ all sound. Anything that’d originate from beyond my room had been vaporized, and the screams I belted into it were stomped flat. Nothing in response. There’s a certain hopelessness which settles when you shout so loud and for so long that it feels like you’ve just gulped down a bag of sand. That when you try to say words afterwards they only just manage to scrape their way free from your lips in fractured syllables which don’t really combine properly.
I kept thinking I’d wear myself needlessly out as I paced frantically in my twelve-by-twelve between my bed and my desk, though my feet wouldn’t stop moving and my thoughts kept piling onto each other until they’d consumed my mind. My phone works for some reason, and my computer does as well. Tears threatened me until this thought occurred, and I started a quick back and forth conversation with my mother. I tried easing her into what’d happened, trying to seem genuine as possible. As not utterly insane as possible. You know what I got back? She said she texted my roommates and they’d told her I was asleep. I remember my heart sort of punching my rib cage after this. Really hard. My rational, midwestern, mother would not be this stupid. She wouldn’t be so insensitive, either, towards my very real fear to crack some joke. And yet she began spilling her thoughts out, and trying to justify why it’d be perfectly reasonable for me to be both sleeping and trapped in a void and also speaking on my phone. Speaking on my phone while ASLEEP.
Left this account alone for a good while. I’m hungry. I’m thirsty. Just downed my last beer which I thankfully found under my bed, though I’m thirstier now. No one I call makes any sense. I’m still seeing videos from YouTubers. Daily news. The world is going on perfectly well without me.
I’ve decided I will leap into the void before I starve. Will write some stuff out to my family for if they may ever receive it. I’ll post this account here. I’m jumping soon. I’ll let you know if there’s anything in the pit.