Hey y’all, I just recently got on Reddit. You see my boss just got us one of those internet stick thingies several months ago so we can finally get on the web. It’s slow as hell and only works on Thursdays. I think it may be busted or maybe we are just using it wrong. I dunno, maybe one of you fellers can tell us how to fix it.
You see, I work at the Dogwood motel, it’s a remote motel up in the mountains. We are surrounded by woods and have a few unmarked hiking trails around the area, although I would recommend never hiking any of them, especially not at night or when the red fog comes in.
I live on the premises since we’re so far out in the middle of nowhere. It’s an alright job but it can get a little boring at times. We don’t get much cellphone reception out here. As I said, the internet only works on Thursdays. I mean, heck, we only get one radio station up here and it ain’t even that good. It only plays one song and then plays a series of beeps, followed by a voice that just says a bunch of numbers and letters. If we get real lucky, the voice will say a name or a short sentence, then that same song starts playing again. I’m not sure what you call that song, but I’m sure one of y’all know it. It sounds classical or something and goes like bah nuh nuh, nuh nuh, nuh nuh nah, nuh nuh. It gets kinda old to listen to so we usually keep the radio off.
Anyhoo, I came across all y’alls weird stories and it was nice to see other folk having odd encounters too. So to pass some time I reckon I’d share some of my experiences working out here at the motel.
So, it’s the middle of summer right now and I don’t know about where you live but out here it gets hot. Now it ain’t too bad if you stay inside but every now and then our AC will break down. When it does, Lars (he’s the owner) will call out our maintenance guy Harold. Harold is a nice enough fellow but he don’t seem to do much of nothing. Lars will call him out and he just comes into the lobby and just sits and talks your ear off. Now before you ask, I don’t know why Lars keeps calling him, or why we don’t get another maintenance guy. That stuff is above my pay grade. In the end Harold always recruits my help, and needless to say I am usually the one who has to go out back and try to figure out why stuff is broke.
About a month ago, the AC went down, and Lars called Harold out. Harold sauntered on in and plopped himself down in a chair and just started jawing. Now I don’t mind talking to Harold but today was a particularly hot one, it was probably 95 in the lobby, and I didn’t have much time for him. So, after a few pleasantries I said “Harold, no offense but can we skip the regular song and dance and get to fixing the AC.” Harold seemed a little offended but pointed to his truck and said “You know where the box is. Grab it and go take the cover off out back and I’ll look at it from in here.”
So, I grab his box and waddled my way around back. I plop the toolbox down and start taking the cover off the unit. It don’t take long for me to figure out why it wasn’t working. Then entire thing was filled with human hair. Now I know what you are thinking, it probably wasn’t human hair, an animal must a crawled in there and that’s what I was seeing. Nope, first off there were no bones, it didn’t smell like death, just a whole mess of hair. Plus, the hair was too long and stringy to be any animal I’m familiar with and it was jet black. So I groaned and started to pull out globs of the stuff. Something that hit me as odd was how much resistance the hair gave, it was as if the hairs were actually attached to the cooling elements themselves. I had to pull pretty hard to get some of them to let go. Maybe the hair got so hot in the sun that it fused to copper? I don’t know but it was a rather off putting experience.
About the time I got the hair cleared out, I hear Harold holler out from inside, “I think I found the problem. Button her back up! There was a loose screw.” Harold always just flicks a switch or tinkers with something and says he fixed it. He’s stubborn and there’s no arguing with him, so I just rolled my eyes and put the cover back on and about the time I got back inside Harold flipped the breaker and we had ice cold air again. With that, Harold says, “Looks like my work is done,” tips his hat, and moseys back out to his truck. I really don’t care much for Harold.
Luckily, our guests are generally pretty nice. We have this one guy, I call him Bathrobe Guy. He visits us a couple of times a month and when we see him, we know that his wife has kicked him out of the house for one reason or another and he needs a place to stay for the night. He always shows up in a blue bathrobe, hence the nickname. Bathrobe Guy’s a nice feller and I always enjoy talking to him. We will chat for a bit before I give him his key. Now, I have known Bathrobe Guy for years now, and each time after getting his key he will walk straight to the ice machine and then he just stands there. He doesn’t get any ice, doesn’t move, just stands there all night holding his key and staring at the machine. Then, as soon as the sun comes up, he turns, drops his keys off without a word and slowly marches straight into the woods until he’s out of sight. Personally, I try to avoid the woods like the plague, but if Bathrobe Guy wants to go for a hike, who am I to say something?
Oh, something else odd. This happens every Tuesday, about 2pm. The lights start flickering in the lobby, and it’s not some kinda random flickering neither. It’s always the same pattern.
LongShortShortShort(LSSS) S SLL SL SLS S L SSSS S LSLL SL SLS S LSLS LLL LL SS LS LLS
Far as I can tell it might be some sorta code. Maybe one of you military fellers can tell us if it means something because Lars and I have no clue. If anyone knows what the message is trying to tell us, we would be much obliged. To be frank I just want to give whoever it is an answer so they will stop messing with our lights. It’s getting kinda annoying.
What else can I say? We got plenty of rooms if any of y’all are looking for a backwoods getaway. All except room 3. It’s been closed for maintenance for a few years now. Don’t know what happened, but Harold ain’t got around to fixing whatever’s wrong. The rest of us just avoid it, it’s unsettling. Plus it’s one less thing to worry about, but I assure you our other rooms are ready to go.
Whelp a guest just pulled up so I gotta go. It was fun getting to tell y’all about some of the things we see around here. I got a whole slew of other stories if y’all are interested. I’ll probably post some more next Thursday. Maybe next time, I can tell y’all about Chuck the deer, or the Old Farmer, or about the screaming rains. The guy about to check in looks like he’s been jumping in a mud hole. His trench coat is ruined and it’s going to take me forever to clean the lobby once he comes in. Alright, y’all have a good one.