“What does the world expect from you?”
I was just still. You don’t… you don’t move when you hear that. It was close to my ear. I could feel the breath. On my ear. The slight brush against it. Turned around in my bed and saw nothing. I slowly lifted the covers over my face. It was dark. But kept imaging that thought. That right besides me, looking over me, there is somebody.
I don’t know for how long I was awake. I can’t remember when I went to bed. That falling sensation. But I woke up. The covers were over my face still. I raised my hands slowly. My fingers curled about the edge of my comforter, slowly with each finger in sequence, grabbing on to it. At the top of it. Planned to drag the comforter down. I knew I would see nothing. I knew I would. But I felt different. I felt I would.
Just five inches above my head. I was in a cocoon. I didn’t want to get out. But I had only five inches before I could raise my head upwards and see my room again. Had just moved in recently.
I was slow. I wanted to be slow. Wasn’t sleepy. Just careful. It was a steady rate. I don’t know whether I am a fighter or not. I don’t think you could tell either way by how I moved the comforter. I don’t know why I was so slow. I don’t think I was scared enough to keep hiding. But definitely scared enough that I didn’t want to be surprised by anything. I didn’t want to.
One inch. Was beginning to feel my chest hurt a bit. Not like an elephant on it. But as if I was just trying to breath less and less. Be quieter. Be more conserving of each breath. Thus just slowing down everything. Stiffening myself. Already was stiff with my arms and legs. Legs hadn’t moved for a minute. Was dragging the comforter down for say just a bit less than a minute. But now, finally, began to breath more slowly.
Two inches. I could feel my legs getting warmer. A heat there. Around my ankles but slowly climbing up. It was nerves.
Three inches. Everything was the same. I did shake my right hand ever so slightly for a sec, but controlled myself. Not even a sec. Kept going. Didn’t even stop during. Wasn’t going to let it be that easy.
Four inches. I began to feel my neck tense up. An upwards force began. The anticipation say. Then a downwards to keep it in check. Definitely prepared. Couldn’t afford to lose this.
Getting close to five inches, I began to feel, the room about my hair. It was cold. A type of cold that was also moist. Like walking outdoors after a storm. A storm which happened at night. Ground was still plenty cool. Air as well. Same air in my room as well. Then…
Five inches. Raised my head and I saw nothing.
It was 3 am. Still plenty dark outside. Plenty dark inside too. Decided to walk out of the bed. I was a bit calmer. But first placed my feet firmly on the carpet. Still was sitting quietly on the bed. Looked at the window blinds. Did that for more than five minutes. Breathing slowly still, but not as heavily. A car passed by. It’s headlights slivered through the blinds, dragging light. Across my room’s walls. Heard it drive away, as it turned past my home. That slight engine hum.
Was enough light that I decided to stand up. Did so. Slowly but surely. Steady. Decided to walk out of the room. Drink a glass of water.
Saw the door. Of course I felt cold again. My heart sunk. Chest tightened quietly. But I placed my right hand on the door knob. Slowly grabbing it. Finger after finger. Stiffened my grip about. Began to turn clockwise. It was quiet. I already regretted the next step. It would creak. It does it the most when I least want it too. I was nervous about it. It was even darker outside than my room.
Finally felt the pressure. Reached the end. Began to pull inwards. Towards me. I got to the edge of the door. Trying to peek around ever so gently. My left hand clung to my sides. A firmness to it. Trying to be slim. Can’t risk it. Was walking backwards slowly. But I was using my heels. Not my toes. Couldn’t afford that much. I saw what I expected. Nothing. It was dark. Almost pitch black. Only saw the slight glimmer of the bathroom doorknob.
The door wasn’t creaking still. About halfway done. I was debating. Do I walk out? Would have to maneuver around. Could cause a creak if I bump into it by accident. Or do I keep pulling it out? Would I feel the pressure of the curl? That ever so slight curl, hopefully telling me to stop, and slow down even more. That friction. Which causes the creaks. The result.
I kept pulling the door. Had to trust myself. You just have to. Faith. At a certain point everything is circular. Kept going.
One inch. About the circumference. I didn’t hear anything still. I was paying attention. Or was trying to. Kept looking out more. Could look out even more. Was getting confident. If something was on the other side, if it could see in the night, it would see me. My face. But I didn’t see anything. Didn’t hear anything-
Creak
Stayed still.
Stayed very still.
I was still in frame. I wasn’t cold. But I was still. Then heard a bump.
Kept looking out. A minute passed. The clock began to tick away. The sound would fade in and out. It wasn’t unusual. Did that often. A pattern. Then I remembered. Remembered my phone. It has a flashlight. I could see it. Just walked over. Didn’t hear anything in that span. Couldn’t see anything either. But couldn’t see what was out in general.
Grabbed it. Opened it. Turned the flashlight on. Walls were supposed to be beige. But the white light wasn’t strong enough. The wall had a gray tint about it as well.
Held it firm. Particularly firm. Swung around. Not slow anymore. Immediately my eyes looked through the door. Nothing. Then I looked at the door. Nothing there as well.
I just didn’t care anymore. I walked straight through the door into the hallway, found the four switches that lit most of the rooms but the basement and flipped them upwards. Nothing. Not a single thing out of place. Went into the bathroom. Turned on the light. Same. Checked the closets. Nothing still.
Immediately looked down the stairs into the basement. I didn’t care anymore. Loudly walked downwards, turning all the lights, going into the finished rooms and finally opening the unfinished, and nothing there as well.
I was alone. Just as should have been. Confident too about this.
Was hungry. Not much open besides a Denny’s. Stepped outside. A light rain had begun. Had a jacket. The streetlight illuminated the road yellow. Dark dots patterned the road. Could feel though form the get go.
Stepped into my car. Turned on the engine. Heard it start. Released the manual break. Put into drive. Was breaking still- “Not so fast”- Slammed the accelerator and drove fast, passing the street stoplights, saw some windows light up, kept going, turning aggressively, passing the few cars parked on the edges, on to the main road, kept going until hit a red stoplight.
I was breathing hard. I was breathing really hard. Rain began to dial up. Blue and red flashes illuminated the inside. It was a cop.
Pulled over. Told him what I was telling you. He was a nice person. He saw what I was going through. Asked him if I could get a warning. He said sure and decided to check up on the house. Went in. I asked him “you don’t believe me do you?” He said “things happen. I want to say I am brave but I get scared as well. But am just quicker to react. You did the same actaully. I have heard my fair share as well. We all have.” Said he was going to write down a warning, for the system, but I wasn’t in trouble. Said I should still go to the Denny’s. As he was heading out a neighbor had come out. She was a nice lady. Late seventies. The cop told her everything’s fine. I tried to apologize, but she cut me out by saying “Dear you are fine-you are fine!” The cop told her about my plans. She offered to drive me down herself personally. Felt a grumble anyhow. Cheat day for her diet she said.
Ate some stuff. Told her what happened. She didn’t believe me frankly. Then the salt moved in front of us.
She looked at me. I turned my head to the right. The waiter saw it as well. He was just staring. He asked us “you saw that right?”
She paid for my meal and dropped me off. By now it was six. Sunrise. I closed her car door. Was looking at her. She was looking straight ahead. A concerned face. Quiet. But then she turned right, saw me looking at her, and smiled. Looked ahead and drove down the street into her driveway. I turned then and looked at my driveway. Still raining. Walked in.
It’s been two months and I haven’t heard anything since. Nothing has moved either. But decided to write this down. Try to get it somewhat.