I hadn’t slept the entire night. Thankfully, no TV messages or clones have appeared. I know I won’t be able to avoid sleep forever, but it’s a good temporary solution until I figure out what to do. Besides, I’ve honestly never felt better. I have a lot more energy than usual, which is counterintuitive, but it works for me. The only downside is I’m extremely sensitive to light and sound, but that’s okay, I’ll live. I feel on top of the world. Only, I swear sometimes I can see shadow figures fleeting out the corners of my eyes. I try to pay them no mind but they’re honestly creeping me out. I pretend I don’t see them. I assume they abide by the same laws as the ‘other me’ and they’re here to watch me. I’m not supposed to know they’re there. So, if I know about them but pretend not to, that gives me a tactical advantage. I’ll figure out how to deal with them, but as long as they’re passive observers, it’s not a priority. Maybe they were always there and I’m only now privy to their existence. That almost puts me at ease because if I was okay before I’ll be okay now.
It feels like the more time I spend awake the more attuned I am to the world around me. I think about something and it happens; I hear little signs in songs on the radio while I’m driving to work. I keep seeing repeating numbers everywhere, which the internet says are significant. I’ve never been much of a believer in the spiritual, but now it seems to make sense. I feel incredibly connected to some kind of higher power, and to the world. Everything feels so alive; I am elated. On my way home from work I decided to pick up some books about spirituality. I bought some on Buddhism, dreams, demons, alternate dimensions, and spiritual enlightenment. I bought 14 books in total. As soon as I got home I started reading. Didn’t even wash my hands or use the bathroom, hadn’t eaten since the day before. But that didn’t feel important. I had a crystal clear focus on the books.
The night came and went, the Sun went up, and I was still reading. I was so engrossed in my studies that I missed work that day. The thing that finally made me look up from my stack of books and get up was the fetid stench of rotten eggs that filled my nostrils. I searched the house trying to find the source but it seemed to come from everywhere. I remembered: I had just read last night about how when a negative presence is situated in your home, you might sense awful smells, and that it’s one of the first indications of something going south spiritually. I saw many shadows that day. Fleeting past me as I was reading, lurking in dark corners as I walked through my home. I grew agitated. I wanted to scream at them to leave me alone but I had to restrain myself from doing so because they mustn’t know that I know about them. The Sun went down and I looked out of my window onto the quiet neighborhood, street lamps illuminating houses and the road. Something caught my eye. In the distance, in the middle of the street, stood a dark figure. I could only make out a silhouette. My heart thudded against my chest. The sound of static filled my ears. I whipped my head around to see the TV. ‘ESCAPE WHILE YOU CAN’.
Fuck.
The street lights turned off one by one. The air felt heavy, I could barely breathe. There was that sense that everything was wrong again. Shadows closed in around me as I ran out of my house and jumped into the car. I drove to Mark’s apartment and banged on the door. He let me in with a puzzled look on his face. ‘What happened, what’s wrong?’ ‘I can’t explain it, I just need someone to keep me company tonight.’ ‘You look scared, man’, he said. I didn’t reply. I helped myself to a bottle of wine from his kitchen and we talked about random stuff. He really tried his best to keep my mind off of the situation and didn’t ask more questions about it. I appreciated that. At around 3 AM he went to sleep as he said he was exhausted, and I was alone once again. I managed to get an hour or two of sleep, but it was filled with nightmares. I kept dreaming about that other me chasing me. It said to me: ‘better wake up before you forget how to’. I jumped off the couch covered in sweat.
I got up and thanked Mark for everything, then I drove back home to get ready for work. The whole day at work I was disassociated from reality, lost in thought, in worry and anxiety. Shannon approached me at the water cooler. ‘Have you heard about doppelgangers?’ she asked. ‘No… Look, I’m kind of busy right now and even though I’d love to talk-‘ ‘Listen,’ she cut me off, ‘they’re supposed to be these evil doubles of people and it is said that if you meet yours, you’re in for a pretty bad time…’
‘Shannon, that sounds really intriguing. But I really need to get back to work, you know, I’m behind on some e-mails and stuff since I missed work yesterday. I’ll see you around.’ I went back to my cubicle and tried to get to work. I spent most of my day in a daze, not due to a lack of energy, but due to the overall sense of confusion and dread that i felt. I could not stop sweating and my heart was pounding constantly.
When I finally got home, I realized I couldn’t relax there. It felt so foreign. There was an ominous hum and the air felt so heavy. I decided to go to a bar near me and just drink this whole thing away. I couldn’t take it anymore. I drank and cried until I was denied a drink as they saw I was pretty far gone. I had no choice but to go home. I tried reading my books when I to put my mind at ease and maybe find something useful, but the effects of the alcohol took over and I was soon fast asleep. I woke up in pitch darkness with the TV on.
‘THERE IS NO ESCAPE NOW. IT WILL REPLACE YOU.’
Fuck. Fuck. FUCK. What does that mean?!
My heart was palpitating, the adrenaline rush made my stomach twist in knots. I ran to the bathroom to puke. When I looked in the mirror, I could swear my reflection was actually my copy staring back at me. I puked again and passed out in the bathroom.
The next morning I remembered what Shannon said about doppelgangers. I scoured the internet for anything I could find on them, until, on I-don’t-even-know-what page of Google, I saw a link that intrigued me. For some reason, it was already purple, but I paid it no mind. I immediately clicked on it. It was an old simple website that looked like it hadn’t been updated in ages and the title read ‘Doppelganger: Your Secret Twin’. I began reading and my jaw soon hit the floor. The text said that these creatures are basically copies of people that live in an alternate pocket dimension and that if you ever come in contact with yours, it will try to take over your life and replace you. So that’s why it’s been studying me…
click
My laptop turned off by itself. Then all the light bulbs burst one by one. The smell of sulfur filled my home again. I ran to the car to drive to Mark’s place, street lamps turning off behind me. By the time I came close to his apartment I was crying hysterically. I was speeding, running red lights, I didn’t care. I could barely even see from all the tears collecting in my eyes. I came onto an intersection; another fucking red light. Behind me, in the rear view mirror, I saw the silhouette of that thing again. I sped up and…
Everything went black.
Apparently, I was hit by another car and it was a miracle I came out alive. At least that’s what the paramedics said as they loaded me onto the ambulance. I had a concussion, a cracked rib, and some major bruising, but other than that, I was fine. They asked me a lot of questions but I soon broke down and told them I could not fucking keep it together anymore. I told them about the TV, the shadows, the signs, the doppelganger. I told them everything. I was so scared. Of course, they didn’t believe me. They arranged for me to be transferred from the ER to a psychiatric ward. Fuck. My. Life.
Now, as I sit here waiting for them to take my phone away and admit me, I just realized something. It’ll be so easy for that fucking monster to take over my life now that I’m about to be locked away for god knows how long. And the more I try to explain that to the doctors, the longer they’ll keep me there. I know I’m not crazy. It was all a part of its plan.