We took what we could.
“We gotta go, lock it up.”
“All of it’s hidden and contained.” I responded, a few rings and gold coins in my pocket.
Before he started the car I had to think smart and quick.
“My nose is running I rubbed the snot on my watch and I think some’s on my chain.” I stated.
My arm was outstretched to show him my watch as I forced mucus to blow from my nose.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?! Here! Fucking clean yourself up! That’s disgusting.” I’m handed a roll of paper towels.
I quickly remove my watch and chain and place them in my pocket with the rest of the valuables. I sloppily wipe my face with the paper towels and stuff them into my pocket to keep the friction silent.
“Thanks I say”, tossing them on his lap, wiping my hand on the steering wheel, trying my best to look sick and weak.
“You squinty DISGUSTING fuck! Next time you do that shit again I’ll beat you with your fucking watch AND chain!”
Needless to say I made it home with every item I intended to. Needless to say he spent a while sanitizing his truck cabin. Needless to say that wasn’t the last he said of it. He dropped me off with an, “Idiot, I swear.” Smoke billowing from his muffler, heavy motor beating the engine.
I’ve been pawning what I could. Always ignoring everyone. Looking for who might feel differently. Every item was notably of worth or valuable. For that same reason it shouldn’t be much of an issue.
A couple rings, a couple coins, a couple shops.
“Fucking finally!” I exclaim in ecstasy.
Fifteen hundred dollars in hand I walk about to my usual places enjoying a little freedom, pleasure and happiness.
I relax after an hour. An hour more and I’m worn and exhausted. I’m breathing heavy. I’m starting to feel heavy. I breathe deep and find a comfortable area to rest. The rest is a blur.
The next day I awake to a call.
“Hello?” I half mumble.
“You really fucked up….”
CLICK
A click distinct and synonymous in it’s loudness disrupted my peaceful fog; still disoriented I found clarity.
“I’m not sure who that was.” I thought aloud.
“I’m not safe.” I thought aloud.
My paranoia still leading me as I grew to believe that if they figured out my number it was only a smooth drop to figuring out where I was.
“Fuck!” I exclaimed.
In any event I wished to avoid injury or death. Repeatedly reminding myself in paranoia to find somewhere safe. I quickly made a call to a few friends.
They answer to a response of, “On my way!”
I respond hurriedly, “Thank you.”
CLICK
“I have to get to the meeting spot.”
“Hurry!” I remind myself.
I conceal my face. I grab my bag and my backpack and begin to work my way down the road. I was suddenly jumped by three faces pale and ghost like.
“Did you wish to die?”, asked the first.
“Do you wish to die currently?”, followed the second.
“Do you wish to die later?”, finished the third.
I had no idea who they were, what they were, or what they were asking me.
“Me? What?”
I looked bewildered. Their faces translucent and reflective. I could see my own in each of them. I chuckled anxiously, hoping they wouldn’t get offended.
“Haha… what?..”
No, if you were wondering luckily they didn’t.
“You will die later. We all do.” Two faces responded.
I stared on ignorantly. I smiled at the two of them, tears strewn in their eyes. The two repeated themselves, the third spoke indiscernibly, mumbling, and grumbling. It was like… studying something.
“We speak (8 wounded 3 dead) as a collective. (Robbery) We are together. (She stole him) Do not fret, (We won’t be left like you) for you stand before us (Irreparable) attempting to find safety. (We will watch you die) What is your (Arson) focus on? (Dead, they’re all dead) What do you hear between these words? (You never checked on them) What do you hear?”
“Nothing… wha- Nothing…. What are you? Why are you… talking… to me?”
At times I could hear my name, at others I could hear my past and hobbies, my history with criminals and criminal acts. I believe at times it would even speak of those I’d helped further and where they were now.
The ghostly faces began to illuminate.
I stood and waited for a response.
I fought the urge to run.
Eyes blinded by light.
I could not see.
I couldn’t run.
I felt fear.
“No. No. No! Fuck off!”
So I told them to fuck off.
They started screaming and yelling as a siren sounded in the distance.
Their faces turned inhuman, menacing, scary.
The faces began to illuminate brighter as though they were bright white lights. I searched around me still waiting for the afterimage of the blinding light to dissipate so I could escape safely or at least plan it out or be knowledgeable of my surroundings.
The faces placed me in handcuffs. I awoke in a mental hospital handcuffed to a bed. Where a quick conversation transpired between a doctor and I,
“You were experiencing one of many forms of schizophrenia.”
I give no response.
“Are you okay”
I give no response.
“I need to know that you are okay,” their hand on my shoulder, “Are you seeing anything that isn’t here? Maybe hearing something that doesn’t exist? Any feelings of paranoia, depression, anxiety, volubility?”
At this moment I’m attempting not to mislead myself or be led askew. I try my best not to:
a) Fight them and further hospitalization. b) Ask anything for whatever reason in any sense. c) Run from them. d) Answer them.
They ask again and again if I’m okay. At that moment I’m doing my best not to stay. I answer yes and I ignore the rest of he questions.
“Now that I’ve told you everything, officer, am I free to go?”
“Carry on. Continue to when we brought you here to the station.”
After this I was given medication. I was told to take the medication daily. I used the restroom. I broke a capsule open and inspected it. I guess the meds seemed fine. I don’t know. I’m no medologist or medidician or medician or whatever it is.
“Wait.”
“What, cop?”
“Then what?”
You lead me to a vehicle after once again handcuffing me and escorting me out of the facility. You helped me enter the vehicle and I nearly fell when you pushed me. I was taken back to the police station. I was then handcuffed to a table and here we are.
“Now?”
“Now that I’ve told you everything, officer, where am I to go? I’m the one who called you.”
The officer hands me my medication.
“What do you want me to do with this!?” I yell.
“Take your meds and calm down.”
I do as instructed, waiting for clarity and aid.
“Officer?” I question.
“Wait for your medication to take effect.”
Moments pass.
Three men enter with flash lights under their chins. Mirrors in their opposite hands.
“Officer?” I half mumble now medicated.
Their faces lit from their chins.
“What do you hear?” They ask.
“You really fucked up….” The officer responded.
(Yes, I’m the one who called you.)