Hi, i am a 12 year old kid with ADHD and mental health issues. I need someone’s help right now because I’m starting to lose it. I think I’m going insane. Last week (exactly a week ago) I did something I really regret by now, I was with a friend and we were gonna sleep in our caravan. It all was perfectly fine until we found a smirnoff bottle (vodka) in a see trough cabinet.
I poured a little of it into my glass and then poured coca cola to blend with. I then drank it. I immediately regretted it. I felt both sweaty and cold. I tried to sleep but I just couldn’t. Not for the entire night. I also had an EXTREME stomach ache and my heart was beating so fast. I could barely breathe. I didn’t know what to do. My friend fell asleep and I just layed there, affected by that sip and was unable to do anything. I took my friends phone multiplie times and googled about literally everything about alcohol, it said that i had a chance to get a seizure and even die, it just made me feel even worse. At 5AM I finally decided to go tell my mother. I woke up my friend and told her that I’m gonna go inside and that im gonna tell my mother about the whole situation, I took deep breaths and we then went out of the caravan and into my home. I was very nervous at the time and I was shaking.
I went inside and my mom came out of the bathroom, I started crying and telling her about it all. I’m so glad I did. She hugged me and comforted me and telling me that it was gonna be okay. She then told me and my friend to go back to sleep. I finally got to sleep, for about 2 hours. I felt better but still like absolute shit. And me having ADHD and taking medicines doesn’t go with alcohol, so that must be why my body reacted that way. I also haven’t told my dad because I’m scared he will get mad at me for doing this, and my mom promised me that she wouldn’t tell him aswell, and I really trust her.
After those 2 hours of sleep, I went inside again and hugged my mother once again. I told her that I was so dissapointed in myself and didn’t know why I did this. She then told me that I should just forget about it. But how could I? Once again I am 12 and I did something illegal. Can somebody please tell me how to get over this? It’s been a week and it doesn’t seem to get much better. I start to cry just talking about it and as I am sitting here I’m literally sobbing. Please help, someone. I would appreciate literally anything. But please, don’t be too harsh on me. I’m just a kid and I didn’t know better.