i am under my bed right now writing this to you guys on here because i am afraid to move. everywhere i go i can feel a pair of eyes on me no matter where i am. please listen to what i have to say before you judge me and please tell me if i am going crazy or not.
this all started last week when my husband evan found out i was having an affair with my co worker jake. as we sit on the bed he suddenly looks at me with tears in his eyes and asks me in a shakey voice. “how could you do this to me”. i looked at him confused and ask him what he meant. he stands up and starts getting louder now at a shout. “HOW COULD YOU CHEAT ON ME. AFTER EVERYTHING I HAVE DONE FOR YOU. I LOVED YOU WITH EVERYTHING I HAD”. i got off the bed and started tearing as he yelled at me. he stops yelling and sits on the floor with his head buried in his knees sobbing so i take this as a chance to grab my car keys and leave the house. on my drive i only know one place to go.
as i pulled into the parking lot of jakes house i feel my hands trembling and as i get out and walk up to his front door he lets me in and i tell him everything that happened and he lets me spend the night at his house until i figured something out.
in the morning i was woken up to the sound of my phone ringing. when i picked it up my heart dropped. evans mom called me in tears telling me evan unalived himself with a gun we kept hidden incase of a ransack or something. her voice on the other end started to fill with anger as she told me this. “evan left a note before he unalived himself and it says this.” to my wife amanda i loved you with all of my heart before i passed, i would give everything to have one more good moment with you. you were my everything and more, and the betrayal you put through was my breaking point. who knows what you do behind my back when i cant see you. so now you will know how it feels to be watched over 24/7. i hope you get this note and understand how i felt before i did this. -from evan your ex husband.”
before his mom could speak i hung up, grabbed my keys, and raced home. as i was driving i felt like someone was in my backseat piercing daggers into the back of my skull. i whipped my head around and looked but nothing was behind me. as i pulled into the driveway i started to walk to my door to unlock it when i felt like someone was watching me from a distance. i hurriedly unlocked the door and slammed it shut. as i put my stuff down i still felt the lingering presence of someone watching me. every corner i took as i made my way to the shower evans words replayed in my head like a broken melody “now you will know what its like to be watched 24/7”. as i undressed and got into the shower i looked down at my feet when suddenly i felt a shock of fear and anxiety like someone was near me breathing down my neck. as i took a breath trembling and closed my eyes i counted to 3 in my head and whipped around and opened my eyes. as i looked i screamed as i saw a pair of eyes glazed over and cloudy just staring at me. FLOATING.
i ran out of the shower grabbing my towel running into my room and slipping under my bed. now i am stuck under here crying feeling like i am going crazy. i have told my friends about this feeling and they all say im imagining things due to the grief of losing evan. i am not crazy and i feel like he is back to watch me forever. please tell me i am not crazy.