My pubes are too long they are strangling me help me please, originally they were just REALLY long like my pants was filled with my pubes but this morning they just started fucking strangling me! I cannot contain the beast that is in my fucking pants. They are literal vines at this point sos. Call pest control,the cops,the fda,fire fighters, the hospital, a scientist, McDonald’s, some Italian chef, just call anyone as long as they can cut this forest thats in my pants. Holy fucking shit my pubes just killed titty tickler, my sphynx cat. I loved her so fucking much she was my saggy titties MINE!
Jesus Christ please help me my whole house is completely fucking coverd with my goddamn netherhair, it has killed everything that has tried to even come close to my house my parents,the mailman,stray cats,homo hobo joe, even the fucking kids from monster house!!! I dont think I have much time left, my whole body has been covered by it. The only things that can use are my eyes and fingers.
today I saw someone at the window. He saw me and screamed “BIGFOOT!!!” I wish that I could’ve warned him but while he was getting his camera out the hair took him. That same day I tried to fight back but I lost, and because I fought back it punished me by cutting my fingers off (fortunately it let me keep my thumbs). I thought that i could finally bleed out but somehow the monster took proper care of my wounds.
It also wont let me die of dehydration/hunger by forcing to drink my own sweat and by feeding me stuff in the pantry and fridge. Weirdly enough it knows how to cook it actually has a working mind. Would that mean it has a brian? Could I somehow destroy the brain? Can I trick it? Is it dumb enough to be tricked? I miss my family so fucking much.
it has covered the whole street now, at least i think it did because I heard a shit ton of screaming outside. The house got hit by some type of explosion and now I can see outside, it took more than the street. I hope that im not the last person alive.
The pupes have all grouped up together and created a massive fucking human like giant, like a mighty megazord from Power Rangers and im the middle of it like exactly where a humans heart would be. It started taking over states while in this form first it took Michigan then ohio,Indiana,Kentucky,Tennessee,Alabama,Mississippi,Lausanne, and texas. While it was causing mayhem some debris and other stuff would get stuck in it and one of those items appears to be a kitchen knife, since its distracted taking over new Mexico I was able to grab the kitchen knife. I think that since im where the heart is supposed then i might be its heart, so basically if i die it dies.
And now that its busy taking over Arizona I have the perfect chance to kill myself and save the rest of humanity. So I guess this is technically my suicide note huh? Well I dont really have anyone to talk about since everyone I know is dead but I guess to whoever sees this use my life savings for the funerals of titty tickler,my parents, and homo hobo joe (make sure to use most of my money on titty ticklers funeral). Even if this doesn’t work at least i wont be able to see this abomination harm anyone else. I hope that someday somehow somebody sees this and remembers me. Goodbye.