summer 2017, maybe june or july, can’t remember now. i was 20 and hopelessly in debt. after all, i’m not sure what i expected when i decided on going to college out of state, already swimming in the sea of low credit. not many people wanted to hang with me, and they saw me as a beggar of sorts. fortunately, she got me.
her name was brooklyn (yeah, like the borough of new york) but everyone called her brooke. she was always pale and cold for some reason, and i mean literally. when i tell you her hands were cold, i’m not kidding. she was like elsa. we always joked about that.
she was your typical white, blonde, blue eyed girl. we’re talking 100% valley girl and 200% european. she was always funny about it though, and could make me laugh even when i was the most down. for her other friends, it’s debatable.
speaking of which, she was the kind of person who really got along with everyone. i like to think that that’s how likeable she was. she always hated that, and called me corny for it, but deep down she clearly enjoyed being complimented. because of her lightness she always had some sort of blush on her, even in borderline 100 degree weather.
she could turn a cold room hot and loud, and always was lively. contrast that to me, a guy who rarely got invited to anything and always kept to his own. it was peaceful, sure, but i’d be lying if i said i didn’t want more. so i went for more.
one evening, i texted her out of the blue. that’s rare for me, and so she was confused at first, but eventually we had a conversation going. obviously, she was carrying it, but it felt nice to have a one on one with a person i liked. a couple nights of texting like this went on before i made the big move. i asked her.
“hey, do you want to go out sometime?”
it was blunt and awkward, but who am i kidding, it worked! she took about a minute or two to reply before saying
“of course! btw, i knew u were gonna ask me.”
“how?” i asked.
“you’re so obvious. randomly texting me on a thursday night out of nowhere. lol”
“i guess lol”
so there it was. a couple nights later we met up according to plan and hanged out for pretty much the whole evening. to my surprise, i actually guided most of it. maybe i just needed a little kick of the stool, you know? whatever it was, i was feeling myself, and we had chemistry too.
i’m not sure if there was a dry moment until we got back to my place. she was so tired. she had pulled an all nighter the night before this one, and was probably on her 30th hour awake. i had to drag her body out of the car.
we entered through the back and i took her to the kitchen. we had already eaten plenty, but i went to get some water for us anyways. i asked if she wanted anything different, and the only response i got was a soft groan. tiring, but adorable too.
i figured that it’s rude to not feed guests, so i cut some fruit and spread it on a plate. she wasn’t hungry, but i had less than her earlier and filled the little space left in my stomach with macintoshes and cucumbers.
eventually, she collapsed to the floor, and i heard sirens outside. i suspected she had fainted, and because of the shape of my furniture, she had gotten a bruise on her right tricep. as i was sitting, staring at my date, lifeless and cold, i heard a knock followed by a yell.
“police! open the door!”
i told them everything i had just told here, in a cold sweat, crying and shaking because of how overwhelmed i was.
obviously, they didn’t believe me.
i didn’t cover for the cuts in her at all, nor for the small chunk missing around her lower abdomen. and using cut fruit as an analogy was so dumb of me. how would they ever believe any of that? to be fair, it’s a pretty alright cover for about 20 minutes (for someone that hasn’t seen her body), but not for an actual investigation.
as i write this pieces of brooke are still in my gut. her right arm (the bruised one, i don’t like the taste of bruises) is untouched, and there’s still a warm spot on the kitchen floor from her. i’m hiding alone, and i’m cold, reminded of her paleness we all loved so.
after all, she was always pale and cold. how could they tell?